Until the End
by passivestrength
Summary: Bella Swan is the epitome of innocence. Edward Masen is her complete opposite. Sometimes the people you cherish the most are the ones you never wanted to meet. The ones that help you heal when no one else can. AH/AU/OOC Full summary inside! ON HIATUS.
1. Prologue

Summary: Bella Swan is the epitome of innocence. Generous, curious, and kind. Edward Masen is her complete opposite. Dark, intense, and insensitive. Sometimes the people you cherish the most are the ones you never wanted to meet. The ones that unconsciously help you heal when no one else can. The ones that possess the ability to change you into a new person. Those people last forever. AH/AU/OOC Rated M for strong language, some violence (maybe), and eventual sexual situations.

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to the amazing Stephenie Meyer. Until the End belongs to Stephanie (me), but the characters are Ms. Meyer's. The only thing we can share is our name, and even that is spelled differently *cries* Oh well...it's a nice thought :)

(A/N:) My first AU/AH story...hope everyone likes it! It's a definite change for me - for one, I've never used much swearing in any of my writing, because I don't swear at all in real life. So it was interesting - and a bit fun, admittedly - to turn Edward into the ultimate bad boy. But anyway...I don't want to start babbling. Please read and tell me what you think! And I almost forgot...have a Happy Halloween!!!

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PROLOGUE

BELLA—

I didn't know where I was going; all I knew was that I was running. Toward something – away from something. I wasn't sure, and I didn't know if I would ever find out. The concept should have terrified me, but in this moment, none of it mattered. Despite the fear that clutched at my heart and caused its pulse to dance at a beat far too swift, I felt content. Despite the looming doubts and anxieties that threatened to drag me under the surface and smother me, I was at peace. And despite the valid notion that my world could collapse beneath my feet at any moment, all I could feel was love. The presence of an angel on Earth beside me, loving me and sheltering me despite the heavy scars of his excruciating past.

I didn't know what would greet me on the far away horizon, but I would find out soon enough. And no matter what it was that I found, I knew I would face it with a strong hand to guide and protect me. Just that simple knowledge alone was more than enough to put my mind at ease.

EDWARD—

I'd never truly realized how officially fucked up life really is. I always knew that it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, but I didn't know that it could get this bad. I'd dealt with pain before. I'd dealt with fear. I'd dealt with loss. I'd dealt with doubt and anxiety. Hell, I'd even dealt with a bit of love. A very powerful love, even if it had split into a lie. But that didn't matter now. All that did was that these emotional iniquities of life were being thrust at me again, but I'd never dealt with them all at once. And I was quickly learning that I couldn't do it alone.

But that's why she was there. Right at my side, encasing my heart and my mind and keeping me strong. Like a beacon of light guiding a ship to the rocky shores unharmed, she watched over me. I knew she depended on me for support and protection, but she returned every gesture I granted her without knowledge or trying. Her presence alone was enough to calm my every concern. I'd dealt with love before, but never like this. This was pure and true, and more right than the treacherous dishonesty of my previous relationship had ever been. But even that was just a small scar permanently imprinted into my skin. There were far worse, and there were far too many. But she tended to my wounds and encouraged them to heal, and I knew that I would love her until the day I died for even taking a second glance at such a messed up motherfucker as me. And despite my pleas for her to find the perfection she deserved, she always stayed. She made my life worth living.

BELLA/EDWARD—

I didn't know what was to come in the future, but I had the love of my life right with me through it all. So I knew it would be alright.


	2. Scars of the Past

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, sadly. Edward and Bella belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer.

A/N: Well...here's the first chapter! Expect updates every 2-3 weeks. Please read and review!

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1. SCARS OF THE PAST

BELLA—

Run, Bella. Run while you can. No. Stay, Bella. Stay where you are. The ground pulls you down, gluing your feet to the hard cement. The door before you begs to be opened. Open it. You know you're desperate to be inside, safe from the cold rain. No. Ignore the aching pulses that your fingertips are suffering, twitching to wrap around the worn bronze metal. You can fight them. But do you want to? Is that what you want, Bella? Answer. No. Don't answer. You don't owe your voice to anyone. Not even yourself.

My name is Isabella Swan, permanently known as Bella. Total paranoid freak. Worst decision maker in the universe. Scared to death of just about everything. Overly blameless and overly passive. Welcome to my life.

I stared up at the looming door towering over me, pursing my lips in utmost vacillation. My body was thoroughly drenched by now, my long dark hair plastered to my back and dripping down my already soaked calves. I knew that the moment I stepped inside I would be greeted by a rush of warm air and the mouthwatering smell of my aunt's cooking. I could dart to my room and change into fresh dry clothes and collapse on my bed, flicking on my trusty iPod and drowning out the rest of the world. But that would be showing great weakness by giving in to the easy and comfortable choice.

I could stay outside and tough it out; defy the heavy rain and rolling thunder. Battle the temptation to escape the storm by striding in its midst. Catch the worst possible cold and land myself in bed for a week, maybe two, and live off of my battered paperback books and chicken noodle soup. Avoid contact and communication with every living thing, no matter how I longed to see them or wanted them to disappear. Avoid all interaction with one person in particular. Oh, how sweet that would be.

With a deep sigh I pulled the heavy white door open and dragged my feet to the slick wooden floors just inside. Of course I took the easy option. Why? Because I'm a total whimp. And because I freaking hate getting sick. That's why.

"Bella? Is that you dear?"

I sighed again at the sound of my aunt's voice, shaking my head slightly. "Yes, it's me."

I loved my Aunt Lillian. Always had, and probably always would. She was one of the kindest people I'd ever known, and when my parents died in that horrible car crash, she took me in without hesitation. I'd been here a little more than a week, and I was beginning to accept that this was now home and I was never going back to Phoenix. It wasn't that I hated Forks; it would just take a bit of time for me to readjust.

Did I mind the rain? Not at all. On the contrary, I'd always loved heavy rain and cloudy skies – a rarity in the dry and desert state of Arizona – so living here was almost like a special treat. Did I miss my friends? Not really. I hadn't had very many friends back home; in fact I had only had one that truly meant a lot to me, and she'd moved away a year ago. And I certainly didn't have a boyfriend or something I was leaving behind. I'd never dated a guy in my life. I wasn't a total prude or anything; just no one had ever taken particular interest in me. I was boring and average, and I'd accepted that I would never be stunningly beautiful or anything less than an awkward teenager with a deadly pair of left feet.

So what was it that was keeping me from diving into the new life I'd been given, embracing its differences and its strong similarities? Quite a few things, really. I knew it would take a while for me to really feel comfortable here. I was still in shock over losing both my parents, and I was more than aware of the fact that once the shock wore off, I'd sink into denial. Deep and desolate loathing and pain and torture. Something I'd never experienced before, but had seen happen to unsuspecting bystanders like me. As I'd heard many times before, life comes at you fast. And sometimes, it hurts like hell.

School was in session, but I hadn't started yet. Lily – the name she'd had me call her since I was a little girl – had refused to let me go when I begged, claiming I needed some time to be alone and just think. Apparently, the last thing I needed was to be thrown into a herd of strangers that would gape and whisper and judge. They all knew my story; things traveled fast in a town as small as this one. And she was right in the sense that I absolutely hated attention in almost every form, with the exception being close friends and family that didn't constantly piss me off. But she didn't understand that I was dying every moment I was left here alone to reflect on my past and how it had come to make me the way I was.

Fearful. Jumpy. Untrusting. Fragile. Innocent. Curious. Reserved. Quiet. Generous. Submissive. Mature. Uncertain. Stubborn. Confused. Deep. Incredibly boring. All things that could be used to describe me, some better than others. In addition to those I was a ridiculous dreamer, but I'd taught myself long ago never to hold onto silly hopes and wishes. They never come true. But that still didn't stop my mind from drifting to my little alternate reality at every opportunity it could manage. Anything to make my life seem more interesting.

I walked to the kitchen and poked my head through the open door. Lily was cooking something delectable on the stove; it smelled like pasta. I watched her stir the contents of the large black pot with her wood spoon, humming distractedly. When she noticed me, she shot me a grin and beckoned me to come over.

"Hey Bella, do you want to help me with dinner?"

I nodded and gave her a small smile in return. She knew how much I loved to cook. It was one of the few things that I really needed to survive. It took my mind off of things, only if for a little while, and helped me relax. Plus it was super fun to experiment around with new recipes and try to create an original meal without blowing up the kitchen.

"Can you make the salad and heat up the garlic bread?" she asked me, eyes warm and bright.

I nodded again and went to the refrigerator to get out the lettuce and tomato. I felt Lily's eyes on me still as I pulled out the dressing and grabbed a bowl from the cabinet beside the sink. I pretended I didn't notice and started chopping the ingredients for the salad on the white cutting board, feeling slightly guilty for ignoring her.

I hadn't talked much since arriving here last Tuesday. I had always been a rather timid person, but my shyness had amplified after the accident. I was tired of being questioned, and panicking and feeling closed in, so I just sank back further into the dark and gradually people started easing up. Hopefully one day they'd just forget I was there.

"When you finish with that, I would suggest that you take a hot shower and put on some warm clothes," my aunt murmured after a minute.

I glanced in her direction and gave another nod. "Yeah, okay. That sounds good."

She smiled and I turned back to my task, grinning to myself. Lily had always gone along with things, and I knew that even if I declined her perfectly rational suggestion, she wouldn't think twice of it. Sometimes I wondered if there was every anything that she wouldn't agree to. In nine days she'd already let me do everything I wanted, besides going to school, that is. But I was starting tomorrow, so I couldn't complain about that. Well…not really. The only bad part was I didn't have a car – I'd left mine behind in Arizona - so I'd have to catch a ride with my cousins. Jasper was okay; he'd been welcoming enough and he was a pretty pleasant guy from my recollection, but his sister was a different story.

Rosalie hated me. Not just a dislike or an aversion, but pure and fiery abhorrence. Ever since we were young, the most I'd gotten out of her was a forced ice-cold smile and many many expletives. I didn't know if she had a grudge against me or something, but all I knew was that staying out of her way was the safest answer. I still had the long scar on my wrist from when she'd pushed me into my bedroom dresser when we were twelve. Those yearly holiday visits nearly killed me.

Thankfully, now that we were older I didn't have to deal with her much. She was dating some quarterback jock named Emmett and spent nearly every waking moment at his house. Jasper was close friends with him too, and apparently he had a thing for Emmett's sister, so I'd had the house to myself a lot of the time. Perfectly fine by me. I was a solo flyer by choice, anyway.

One thing I learned early on from being an only child to two workaholic parents is that isolation is a good thing. Sure, I was plenty social and often agreeable to most people I met, but that didn't mean that I loved being part of an inner circle or whatnot. Crowds terrified me, and most people my age just weren't worth spending time with, anyway. Highschoolers just sucked in general. We couldn't do much, and our choices were often less than intelligent. I was smarter than about ninety percent of my school back in Phoenix, but that didn't mean that I was perfect. I still screwed up all the time. But I was thankful for my imperfections, because they were what had saved my life.

About a month ago, my parents were going out to a party a few of their friends were throwing. I was invited, too, and they'd begged for me to go. We all knew we didn't spend enough time together as a family, what with my mom being a night school professor and my dad working as a chief police officer. I'd agreed to it, but being the forgetful person I am, I didn't realize I hadn't changed the clock in my civic. When I arrived home an hour late, they'd already left without me. I knew I could just drive to the party myself, but it didn't seem worth it anymore. I was just getting into my sweats and a tank top to prepare for a relaxing movie night when I got the phone call from the police. My parents were dead. Killed in a head-on collision less than a mile away from their destination. I was an orphan. But I was alive because I'd forgotten to change my clock.

I sighed quietly as I forced my mind to return to the present. I tried not to think about why I was here, miles away from my house and the first seventeen years of my life. I often slipped; it was natural to remember the things I so desperately wanted to forget. There's no escaping the past. And there's no running from the future; no one knows what the future holds. Denying it could be losing the most incredible experiences imaginable. Ah, there I go again. Got to stop dreaming.

"Okay, Lily. I'm finished," I said, pulling the scalding foil of the garlic bread out of the oven. I placed it on the counter by the tossed and dressing-laden salad, and then turned to my aunt for inspection.

Lily was a beautiful woman. Anyone with eyes could see that. She was in her mid-thirties, the same as my mom, but they looked completely different. Lily was tall and lean, built like a surfer or a model. Her rich golden hair went to just past her shoulders; smooth and perfectly waved. Her eyes were wide and crystal blue, and her lips were full and always turned up in a welcoming smile. My mom, Renee, was smaller and more delicate, the same build that I shared. Her hair was a deep chocolate brown with few waves and more length. Her eyes were the same as her sister's, though. Piercing blue, just like the ocean and sky. And their skin was creamy porcelain, like mine. People could often mistake us for ghosts if they didn't look close enough. It was a family thing; Jasper and Rosalie shared the pale coloring, too.

"Looks good, Bella. Now off you go," she said lightly, shooing me toward the bathroom. "I'll have Rose set the table, so take all the time you need."

I nodded. "Thanks."

I took my time walking down the hallway. There was no reason to rush, and I had never been the type of person that liked doing things quickly. Slow and steady was a constant motto in my life; I tried to enjoy things as much as I could, especially now. I never really realized how much each little moment with my parents mattered to me until it was too late. Sharing a pot of coffee in the morning with my dad before he took off for work. Going to a movie once every few months with my mom and laughing our heads off at how ridiculous the storyline was. Taking long quiet walks after holiday dinners, the kind that made us feel like we were as big as blimps. Now that they were gone, the little memories were all that I had left. I'd left the house, the car, and nearly everything that had belonged to them behind. In fact I only kept three specific things of theirs; everything else was superficial or unneeded. And I didn't need too many reminders. A person can only handle so much pain.

I kept my dad's police badge. Shiny and polished and silver, just like it always had been. He wore that little metal with pride, and I knew that his job meant the world to him. I put it in a small leather case, and a talented craftsman from the force inscribed _Charles Swan_ on it for me. I didn't want _In Memory of_ added; to me this badge kept him alive. And that's how he would have wanted to be remembered – trussed up in his uniform and striding around with a big grin on his face. Chief Swan to the world, silly and awkward Charlie to me.

I kept my mom's wedding dress. Completely unoriginal of me, but I couldn't help it. I needed to take it. The first time she'd let me see it, I knew it would be mine someday. And not just mine to keep, but mine to wear at my own wedding. To say it was beautiful would be a ridiculous understatement. It was awe-inspiring; strapless and long and full. Pure white satin with a skirt like a Colonial ball gown. Sparkling diamonds sewn into the center bodice and strewn across the bottom. Tied like a corset with a plump ruffled bow flowing out underneath. It was the most amazing work of art I could have imagined. Of course I had to keep it.

The last thing I kept was my mom's engagement ring. I kept a few other pieces of her jewelry as well, but this was by far the most important. I probably wouldn't have kept it if weren't for a conversation we'd had when I was fifteen. She made me promise that, on the off chance that she ever died before I was married, I had to keep her ring and wear it until I was. I'd scoffed and brushed off her concern; I never expected those dark circumstances to actually come true. But they had, and for the past month that ring had never left my finger. I wore it on my right hand, a compromise we'd agreed to. I didn't want to walk around with everyone under the impression that I was engaged. The ring was gorgeous, though. Another fine work of delicate and sophisticated craftsmanship. It was a thin gold band with a large center diamond, and then hundreds of miniature diamonds scattered around it and twisting into delicate branch designs. Even in the minimal light that Forks provided, it always sparkled like a ray of the sun, reminding me of home.

When I reached my bedroom, I opened the door and sat down on the edge of the bed for a minute, just listening to the rain through my open window. The air was freezing and the room was cold, but I didn't really care. It felt good to me; my body was still adjusted to extreme heat, so intense chill was like a mild breeze to me. I would enjoy it while it lasted, and then I would worry about catching pneumonia while I slept.

I grabbed my tattered gray sweats off the floor and picked up the oversized white t-shirt hanging over the back of my desk chair. I found a pair of dry socks and undergarments, and then snatched my bathroom bag off one of my two partially unpacked suitcases. With a deep sigh, I left the room and headed for the bathroom halfway down the hall. The door was unlocked so I didn't think twice of opening it and stepping inside. Once I had, though, I almost turned around and ran back to my room.

Rosalie glared up at me, her tube of shocking crimson lipstick still clutched between two fingers, and her body bent over the counter to be closer to the mirror. She straightened up instantly, snapping on the lid of her red confection and flipping her long hair over her shoulder.

"Bella," she greeted coldly, narrowing her eyes into threatening slits.

"Rosalie," I responded, trying not to sound as terrified as I actually was. It was a bit asinine, being so afraid of a girl my age, but all practicality went out the window where Rosalie was concerned. She was harsh and manipulative, and could pack a hard punch. I swear that boyfriend of hers was probably teaching her fighting techniques, because when she slapped me the other day, it was throbbing for hours. Not that she'd ever been weak during past years, but now she was like a freaking powerhouse.

Not many people could really hate her though, because besides being the evil Ice Queen that she was most of the time, she was the most ridiculously good looking person I'd ever seen in my life. And I knew everyone else felt the exact some way. Sure people were dead-jealous of her, but they always tried to be friendly to get into her good graces. If my Aunt Lily was beautiful, Rosalie was mind-blowingly gorgeous. She was about five inches taller than my 5'4" frame, and her pastel skin was always glowing in even the most muted light. Her long flaxen hair was the softest gold, and it hung to just above her waist, gently waved to perfection. It was the same hair her mom had, except longer and slightly fairer. Her body was built to that of an angel's carved by a legendary sculptor. Her legs were impossibly long and lean, her stomach was absurdly flat, and her breasts were firm and full. It just wasn't possible to look at my cousin without losing one hundred points on my self-esteem-o' meter; anyone's really.

Her face was the most drawing feature, even more so than her figure. She had amazing cheekbones, a long oval face, and a perfect hairline. Her nose was narrow and straight, and her eyebrows were slanted and naturally shaped. Her lips were full and cherry red without any makeup, as were her cheeks which were always a delicate pink. But her eyes were what caught, and held, the most attention. It wasn't wise to stare into them for too long, for fear that one might turn into stone under her destroying glower, but it was hard to look away. Her irises were the brightest, purest violet I could imagine; the rarest color for the rarest beauty. Her eyelashes were a thick black fringe that framed the color flawlessly, and amplified just how beautiful they were. But it was difficult to see the true beauty in them, because she always had that nasty scowl ruining the fullness of her lips, and that signature glare that made her victim fear for their life. I imagined she wasn't as vengeful around Emmett, though, and I wondered what she looked like when she was genuinely happy and elated. Like when she was getting laid. Because, oh yeah, I knew that was happening.

"What the fuck are you smirking at?" she snapped, narrowing her eyes further. "And what do you want anyway?"

I sighed internally, trying to dispel the complete unease I was in at the moment. She's just a girl, Bella, I told myself. You can handle her. You have more dirt on her than anyone else. She should be terrified of _you_. Wait, what was I saying?! This was _Rosalie_ I was dealing with. No time for pep talks. Shut your fat mouth and run away.

"I need to take a shower," I said as coolly as I could manage. Wow. My voice didn't shake this time. I was impressed with myself.

"Oh, well then by all means, go ahead." She stepped back and gestured for me to pass her, wearing her own condescending smirk as I conceded.

"Thanks," I mumbled as she walked out the door.

"Don't thank me," she smiled, glancing at me from over her shoulder. "Just make sure to wash thoroughly. You_ really_ need it."

I flushed bright red in embarrassment as she disappeared down the hall, laughing. She was so mean to me. It wasn't fair. What had I ever done to her?

With wounded pride, I slammed the door shut and locked it before sinking to the floor. The tile met my exposed legs and sent a sharp chill through me, making my teeth chatter. Why had I been running around in shorts? Oh right…both pairs of my jeans were in the wash, and there was no way I was getting my sweats rain-soaked. I figured my legs could withstand.

Once I was in the shower, I was able to relax. Another of the few things that I desperately needed to survive. The rush of warm water always calmed me, and the heavy steam that clouded my head either helped me think or blocked out unwanted thoughts. It all depended on my concentration, and how much of my strawberry scented shampoo I decided to plunge into my hair.

Tonight I gave myself a heavy dose; I really did need the stress relief. Tomorrow begins life at a new school in a new state with new friends and new family. Fantastic. Lily had told me that I didn't have to start yet if I wasn't ready, but there was no way I was staying here all week. I loved the seclusion, but I didn't want to get too far behind. Not that it really mattered; it was the beginning of October, anyway. I'd already missed more than a month of school. But all I did was sleep and read and cook…and it might be nice to have a best friend again.

I finally managed to drag myself out of the shower after about twenty minutes and wrap my hair up in towel while I threw on my pajamas. The warmth of the steam had made them nice and toasty, and I absorbed the heat greedily.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror as I rubbed the towel against my scalp before undoing it and grabbing my comb from my bag. I ran it through the tangles gently, still staring back at my eyes. They weren't anything special; wide and chocolate brown. Some days I liked them, because they were clear and deep, but others I wished I had more colorful eyes. Blue like my mom, or violet like Rosalie. But the brown was my father's shade, so I accepted it without complaint.

I sighed and put the comb down, exchanging it for the hair dryer. I usually didn't blow dry my hair, because of the hot Arizona air, but Washington was much different. It wouldn't dry for hours, and I would definitely catch a cold if I went to bed with soaking hair. The deafening sound of the dryer seemed far away as I became lost in my thoughts again. I could feel a tradition in the making.

Once I was convinced that my hair would remain damp no matter how long I fried it, I snatched my brush off the counter and tried to fix it. I knew it was entirely impossible, but no way was I marching out of the bathroom when my head resembled a giant fluff ball. Straight hair doesn't frizz – it fluffs. Or at least mine did, and it was not a pretty sight.

I heard the front doorbell ring as I was finishing up, and I internally groaned. Voices floated into the house and the door clicked shut again, leaving the unwanted guests inside. I suddenly felt trapped in the small bathroom, knowing I wouldn't dare come out and face them. I'd forgotten about the Cullens.

Lily had told me that Rosalie was having her boyfriend's family over for dinner, but it seemed to have escaped my mind. How I could forget something as traumatic as that, I had no idea. All I remembered was that she'd promised me I could eat in my room if I really wanted. I jumped at the chance. I really had no desire to meet Emmett, and though I'd heard his sister was irresistibly outgoing and energetic, I didn't see the need to make her acquaintance, either. I'd be forced to meet them at school, regardless. And their parents…I would probably end up meeting them at some point. I'd heard their father was a highly established doctor at the hospital, and with my luck and coordination, I landed myself in those an average of six or seven times a year. At the beginning of my freshman year of high school I tripped while running the mile and managed to break my wrist in two places. A few months later I had a pretty white cast on my leg to match after falling out of a tree while attempting to rescue a soccer ball. My Gym teacher never even apologized for the pain he put me through; he just complained about how I didn't get the damn ball. When I finally tried to stand up for myself weeks afterward, I got hit in the face by a volleyball. Yeah…I'd definitely be meeting Dr. Cullen.

When I decided that I looked acceptable enough, I threw my stuff back in my bag and headed back to my room. When I was inside, I tossed the bag back onto my dresser and let out a deep sigh. Dinner was ready by now. I could go out and just grab a plate and run. Or I could wait. But I was hungry, so I quickly made the decision to dash before I could change my mind again.

I tried to sneak down the hallway as quietly as I could, remembering to avoid one particularly squeaky spot in the carpet. The wood beneath it really needed to be replaced. But I would worry about that later. Right now I needed to focus and…

"Hey Bella."

I jumped about a foot at the sound of a male voice behind me. I hadn't realized I was right by the stairs; I turned around and saw Jasper standing a few steps above me, grinning. He was dressed nicely in a black leather jacket, tight white t-shirt, and dark jeans. Probably trying to make a positive impression. All he ever wore around the house were sweats and a wife beater, I'd noticed. I threw my hands over my heart and let out a deep sigh of relief.

"Geez Jasper, are you trying to give me a heart attack?!" I asked once I'd caught my breath.

He shrugged. "Not particularly. It would be entertaining to watch, though."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks."

"Not a problem." He sauntered down the last steps and ruffled my hair as he passed. "Just try to make it to the kitchen in one piece."

"I'll try," I mumbled as he disappeared. Honestly, Jasper was impossibly nicer than Rosalie, but he still loved to tease me relentlessly. He'd told me once that it was because he couldn't tease her; she'd get him in trouble, and now have her boyfriend beat him up. Best friends or not, I'd learned from observation that some guys will do anything that their girls ask. From Jasper's descriptions, Emmett seemed like a total pushover when it came to Rosalie. He'd knock Jasper to the ground without hesitation. Jasper had told me so himself.

With another, smaller sigh, I continued my journey to the kitchen where dinner, and chaos, would surely greet me. Every step I took made the voices louder and clearer. I managed to distinguish four; two male and two female. Right on schedule.

When I reached my destination, I stuck my head through the back doorway to check that the coast was clear. It was empty, just as I'd hoped. Everyone was conversing in the living room. No one would be able to hear me in here; in fact I could barely hear them now. With a satisfied smile, I walked inside and went up the countertops where the meal was resting, ready to spread on the finished dining table. Lily had even set a plate and silverware out just for me, so I wouldn't have to dig around for everything. I would have to remember to give her an extra special hug later.

As I was filling my plate with the delicious looking spaghetti, I heard the door open and nearly dropped it on the floor. Good thing I remembered to hold on; it definitely would have shattered.

I spun around and came face-to-face with a very wide-eyed girl that greatly resembled a pixie. I'm sure my expression matched hers; I could feel my heart still pounding in my chest from the surprise. The pixie girl tilted her head slightly to the side, looking me up and down, before breaking into a brilliant smile. This had to be Alice; Rosalie's best friend and Emmett's little sister.

Before I could register what was happening, Alice had launched herself at me and tackled me in a very tight hug. Jasper had been spot-on about her enthusiasm; she certainly wasn't shy. I sputtered as the wind was knocked out of me, almost dropping my dinner again. And just when I was beginning to calm down, she started jumping up and down and shrieking, forcing my feet to follow her lead.

"Holy shit, you must be Bella Swan!" she trilled in a high soprano voice that reminded me of silver Christmas bells.

"Yes," I managed to choke out.

"Oh, I've heard so much about you! We're going to be great friends!" she continued to chirp, oblivious to the fact that I was trying desperately to escape…and to breathe.

I didn't know what to say, and thankfully I was saved as the door opened again. Except my savior wasn't exactly who I expected, or wanted.

Rosalie frowned as she saw the two of us still locked in a fixed embrace and attempting to defy gravity. She caught my eye and gave me a death glower, and I shuddered internally. That girl was going to murder me someday. I knew it.

"Alice!"

Alice immediately stopped jumping, but she didn't release me as she turned to face my cousin, a huge grin still plastered on her lips.

"Alice, what the fuck do you think you're doing? Get away from her!" she spat, pointing for emphasis.

"Why?"

"Because there is no way in hell that I'm going to let you warm up to that mindless, spoiled bitch!" she seethed, clenching her hands into fists. Alice looked hurt by the comment directed toward _me, _but I didn't really mind. Of course it stung, but I was used to receiving compliments like this from Rosalie.

Her eyes snapped back to me, narrowing into threatening slits. "You. Get out of here. Now!"

"Can do," I muttered, gripping my plate and grabbing a glass of water before shuffling out of there as fast as I could. No way did I want to stick around for the aftermath to that. Even as I started down the hallway I could hear the two girls yelling and swearing at each other.

I quickly closed my bedroom door behind me, locking it with a loud click. I placed my plate on the bed, sighing as I collapsed backward on the mattress beside it, my hands covering my eyes. I rubbed my temple slowly, pursing my lips and furrowing my eyebrows. So that was Alice Cullen. Huh. Certainly an interesting creature. A bit too hyper for my taste, but very friendly it seemed. Why couldn't Rosalie be that nice?

With another sigh I stabbed a few strands of spaghetti with my fork and twisted them up with my spoon before shoving the first bite into my mouth. I absentmindedly broke off a piece of garlic bread and ate it, too. I wasn't aware of what I was doing; my eyes were looking back out the open window into the sheeting rain, taking my thoughts far away. There were still so many things I had to prepare before morning, and as reluctant as I was to move, I knew if I put them off any longer they would never get finished. But I just couldn't make myself get up. Not quite yet. My brain needed to process a few things first.

I continued shoveling the pasta down my throat, still oblivious to most of the things surrounding me. A bolt of lightning could strike my room and catch it on fire and I wouldn't notice. Well...maybe not that extreme, but I certainly would be capable of choking without realizing it immediately. I swallowed a sip of water, placing the glass back on my nightstand. Why was I suddenly feeling so anxious?

I'd always been a rather jumpy, paranoid girl, so it wasn't uncommon for me to feel stressed on a daily basis. But as I pondered my new life and my short encounter with Alice Cullen, I was hit with the nagging suspicion that tomorrow would be crucial in some inexplicable way. Of course my first day at school was important; I had one chance to make a positive impression and if I screwed up, it would just be like Phoenix all over again. But that wasn't it. It was something more. I didn't know whether to be excited or terrified. I just wished I knew what the abrupt and overwhelming feeling meant. It was like someone had just hit me with a rock over the head, and the throbbing was clouding all my other thoughts.

Holy crow, Bella, I thought to myself critically. Stop acting like a psycho. Maybe I did need therapy…

Lily had suggested that I try going into therapy after the accident. I did see her point, and I'd heard that it helped with recovery in many cases, but I decided to tough it out. No way was I going to endure lying on a couch spilling out every little detail of my existence to some old guy that questioned me on my feelings. That was one, or many, awkward and entirely unnecessary conversations I could most definitely skip.

When I finished eating, I went to the bathroom to wash my plate off under the sink. I didn't feel brave enough to dare going back to the kitchen. Who knew what evil awaited me there? I set the plate aside and began scrubbing my fork, dislodging any microscopic pieces of pesto and cheese from the prongs. Then I brushed my own teeth and splashed cold water on my face before retreating back to my room. All I wanted to do was sleep, never mind that it was only nine thirty. Screw getting school stuff together. I was an early riser. I'd have time.

I opted to leave the window open. Not the smartest idea, but the icy air still felt too numbing and wonderful to resist. I had thick blankets on my bed, and my grandma's heavy quilt; I'd be fine. If only I could shake the feeling that my life was about the change. Again. Maybe I was starting a new trend; living multiple lives every year. I'd start in one place and pick up my bags and move every month. At least I'd get to see more of the world.

I grabbed my iPod off the nightstand and clicked my light off once I was buried under the covers, jamming the ear buds into my ears and scrolling through the song list. I found my new favorite song easily, clicking play as I eased my head onto my pillow. While not exactly a soothing lullaby, it helped me drift to sleep in minutes. The lyrics swirled in my mind, reminding me of why I woke up every morning and faced the eternal challenge of life. Because I'd promised myself I would fight for my parents. Until the end.

_Why give up? Why give in?_

_It's not enough, it never is_

_So I will go on until the end._

_We've become desolate_

_It's not enough, it never is_

_But I will go on until the end._

_I've lost my way, I've lost my way_

_But I will go on until the end. _


	3. The First Sight

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, sadly. Edward and Bella belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer. But I do love to shove them in awkward/violent situations (*evil laughter*)

A/N: Second chapter...a bit early. But I couldn't wait! Expect a bit of a longer wait next time...I'm part of the costume/makeup crew for my high school's fall play so I haven't had as much time to write. Sorry! Please, enjoy though! And review! Reviews make me happy (cause I'm a very negative and irritable person if you know me in real life...if I'm having a bad day and you're not one of my best friends, it's a rare honor to make me smile :P)

--Stephanie

* * *

2. THE FIRST SIGHT

EDWARD—

The loud obnoxious screeching of my alarm clock pulled me from my deep slumber and back to the dreaded world of reality. I growled in frustration, slamming it off. Fucking piece of mechanical shit. Who the fuck had even thought of inventing such an annoying contraption? Fuck them; they deserved to die a slow and agonizing death.

I normally didn't swear so much, I was just thoroughly pissed off this morning and furious that I'd forgotten to switch the alarm off. I'd decided last night that there was no way in hell I was going to school today. And being as fucking thick as I was, I forgot my follow through. I was just seriously out of sorts lately, like some goddamned male PMSing or something. Shit.

I threw my pillow over my face and let out a deep sigh. Well, no point in trying to fall back asleep now. Once I was up, I was up until at least midnight. Fuck. What was I supposed to do all day?

I was basically home alone. Carlisle and Esme were both at work, and Emmett and Alice had spent the night at the Hale's. The only member of the house left with me was the cat. Fuck them all. I mean, it's not like I hated them or anything. Carlisle and Esme were the shit, and Emm and Ali had always been pretty awesome. It's just they all had a life. I had anything but one.

They'd all gone over last night for dinner, and it had turned into a slumber party of sorts. I was invited of course, but I didn't want to go. It just would have been too fucking awkward. Carlisle and Esme didn't stay overnight; they'd just gone to visit Rosalie and Jasper's mom. She was pretty chill, and she was one of the best cooks I'd ever met, but that wasn't enough to get me to drag my sorry ass out of my room. I just didn't really want to deal with her kids. They weren't particularly cold or anything, though I'd heard that Rosalie could be quite the little Wicked Bitch of the West. She seemed pretty indifferent toward me, but she'd never been downright nasty. Jasper was just easygoing and seemed accepting of most things, but I still felt uncomfortable around them both.

I'd only been living here for a little over a month, and I hadn't exactly made much progress as far as friends went. More my choice, though. People just fucking sucked in general. The only reason I even had Alice and Emmett as much as I did was because they were family and I'd known them since I was born. But I was used to seeing them like once every two or three years, so I was almost at the same strange acquaintance-friend stage with them that I was struggling through with their mates. Because it was painfully obvious in the short time that I'd seen Alice and Jasper together that they were greatly attracted to each other. Not that I gave a damn. I had my own problems to deal with. They'd figure it out eventually. It was pretty hard not to notice those types of feelings around Emmett and Rosalie. Except for me, of course. The minute those two started going all glazy-eyed and sappy love shit, I was out of there.

And then there was a new problem that I really wanted to avoid by any means necessary. I'd heard through Alice that a girl had moved in with the Hales last week. She was Rose and Jasper's cousin or something. Went through some kind of family tragedy and lost both her parents. Total emotional wreck. _Exactly_ not what I wanted to be around when I was still recovering from similar trauma myself. Fucking bitch would drag me right back down to the bottom; tear down the gradual process I'd begun to build up the past two months. No way was I going anywhere near her. Even if she was perfectly lovely, I still wouldn't want to meet her. I didn't have friends because I didn't want them. I had my two cousins and two acquaintances, and that was all I needed.

I was used to being a solitary person. Always had been, probably always would be. I'd only had one girlfriend, though she would completely deny it, and I was an only child. But that didn't mean I hadn't had my fair share of fun. Girls swarmed around me like flies, which was gratifying but mostly it just drove me insane. The girls were weren't as bad as the ones back home, but they were still more than a little frustrating…and terrifying. Another reason I dreaded the unbearable realm of torture that was the educational system. A hard lesson I'd learned early on in Chicago – girls are fucking nightmares. Give them anything and they cling to you like they'll die the minute you let go. I was done being nice to them, and the ones at Forks High were some of the sluttiest bitches I'd ever come across. And that was definitely saying something.

A few of them were genuinely sweet and reserved, and they didn't need to be bothered. I possessed slight respect for those girls, but in all honesty I didn't give a damn about them, either. I'd fucked around with enough of them in my previous life. Combined with the cheerleaders and other skanks, I'd probably had enough sex to satisfy three men for a long time. No...that was a major exaggeration; I don't even know if it was enough for one man. But it _was_ more than enough to teach me that the smartest thing I could ever do was just to stay away.

Six months, and I hadn't touched a single girl. And for the most part, I was so relieved for the break. Until the right girl came alone, the most the entire female race would earn from me now was one hell of a death glare. And even then, the same treatment would be given to them except for that girl. Maybe. She might have to suffer, too. All I knew was I was never dishing out my signature crooked smile to anyone anymore. I was just so fucking done with them all.

With a heavy sigh, I pulled myself into an upright position, slumping forward as I rubbed my eyes. My clock read six forty-five; I'd spent the last fifteen minutes pondering my non-existent existence. Urrg…fuck my life. I honestly didn't know why I was still alive.

I heard my phone go off somewhere behind me, sounding off the chorus to my favorite song. You have _got_ to be kidding me. Who would call this early? I turned around and grabbed it off my nightstand, flicking it open without bothering to see who it was.

"What?" I growled into the receiver.

I heard light bell-like laughter from the other end. Alice.

"Well, good morning to you, too," she chirped. How can anyone sound so happy to be awake so early?

"Fuck off," I snapped. "What do you want?"

"Ah, not very friendly today are we, Edward?"

I sighed in frustration, running a hand through my disheveled hair. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Alice. I just got up a few minutes ago."

"No problem," she answered, brushing it off. "You should have seen Emmett this morning. He was like a grizzly bear that got woken up too soon from hibernation. It was hilarious."

"Huh."

"Anyway, I was just wondering if you wanted to catch a ride with Rose and Jazz this morning."

"I have a car," I reminded her.

"Yeah, I know. But it's not as awesome as Rose's," she smirked.

"Hey, don't insult the Volvo!"

She laughed again. "Whatever."

"Thanks for the offer, but no thanks," I responded frostily. "There's no way I'm enduring a car ride with those two. Besides, I'm not even going to school today."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to. Simple as that."

"Well, that's fine by me, but if your grades drop you'll have no one to blame but yourself," she scolded. I smiled slightly, shaking my head. Alice was so funny when she tried to be serious.

"My grades are more than fine. And what about you and Emmett?"

"What about us?" she asked, confused.

"How are you getting to school? You left your cars here."

"Oh, I know. Emm's going to with Rose and Jasper, and I'm not going today."

"Excuse me?" I raised my eyebrows, even though she couldn't see. "Now what was that you were just saying about grades and the importance of school?"

"Shut up, Edward," she scoffed. "I actually have a good reason."

"And what might that be?"

"Bella slept with her window open last night and she has like the world's worst cold now. I'm going to stay here and take care of her."

"Bella?" I asked blankly.

Alice sighed impatiently. "You know, that girl that I told you about."

I frowned. "Oh, right."

"Yeah, poor thing. She looks and sounds absolutely horrible."

"Mmm." And why was I supposed to care? "Umm…Alice, didn't you just meet her yesterday?"

"Yeah, why?"

I internally rolled my eyes. "No reason. Just don't scare her too badly, okay? You're known to be a little over-the-top on the energy charts, after all."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I could almost see her narrowing her eyes and pouting.

"Just what I said and you know it," I laughed, earning a slight growl from her.

"Leave me alone, Dickward," she hissed, only making me laugh that much harder.

"Oh Ali, you do know that I love you, don't you?"

"I certainly hope so," she mumbled, but I could hear her voice softening.

"There. Good girl," I applauded her. "Now go and do whatever it is you've been hyper-ranting about, and leave me alone."

"Bella," she said. "Honestly, do you forget things _that_ fast?"

"If I don't care about them, then…yeah."

I could almost see her rolling her eyes. "You know what?"

"What?"

"I think a bit more socializing could do you some good," she began, leaving the ending hanging.

It took me a second, but then I realized what she was getting at. No way. No _fucking_ way.

"Alice, you are _not _asking me to come play hospital visitor to your little cripple while you hover around her like an obsessive nurse."

"Come on, Edward, it'll be fun," she trilled, pulling out her second most deadly weapon; the innocent voice. Laying on the sugar _real_ thick. Number one was the eyes, but she was nowhere near my range of vision.

"Fuck no!" I'd promised myself I wasn't going anywhere near that bitch. And she was sick with a contagious disease? That was just icing on the cake.

"Aww please?" she begged. "Besides, it's not like you're doing anything today."

"How would you know?"

"Because I know you," she stated matter-of-factly. "You're just going to sulk in your room all day and listen to shitty emo music. And if that gets old you'll play your piano or guitar, read, or smoke and steal my dad's beer. _I know you_."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I waved her off. "Still doesn't change anything. And my music is _not _shitty."

"Oh, go cry yourself a river. I know I should be nicer to you, especially when you're still so fragile, but it's not my fault that I have Emmett as a brother. So toughen up."

"I'm not fucking fragile!" I scorched, livid now. "Stop treating me like a baby; I'm older than you!"

She snorted. "Yeah, by five months. Oh so impressive."

I ground my teeth together. "Alice."

She was quiet for a long minute, but then I heard a delicate sigh. "Okay Edward, I'm sorry. And you _are_ fragile right now, whether you admit it or not. It's okay to bitch about it; it's not your fault. You're still in denial, and you will be for a while. I understand."

Urrg. The only thing worse than a pissed off Alice was a sympathetic Alice. I didn't want her pity; I loathed people's mercy. "I'm fine."

She sighed again, a bit louder this time. "Please don't turn me away. I'm always on your side, you know that?"

I closed my eyes, trying to control the web of emotions her words were causing to spin across my mind. I could hardly think straight by this point. "Yeah, Alice. I know."

She was silent again before mumbling in a hushed whisper, "Will you please come over, though?"

I knew it was no longer a demand; only a simple request that I could easily turn down. One thing about Alice – she always knew where to draw the line. She wouldn't be angry with me now if I still refused.

But because I wasn't completely heartless and because I was a total fucking masochist, I sighed in defeat and reopened my eyes. "Yeah Ali, I will."

"Thank you."

The line went dead. I frowned, snapping my phone closed and dropping it on the bed. Now my clock said seven; fifteen more minutes gone by. I threw my covers back and dragged myself to my feet, shivering slightly as the cold morning air struck me. The wood floor beneath me was freezing, and I cursed myself for not sleeping with socks on. For not sleeping with anything but boxers on. Shit; I was going to be the one with a cold soon. At least I didn't sleep with my window wide open in the middle of a storm.

I grabbed a pair of jeans off the back of my chair and dug through my dresser drawers for clean boxers and a t-shirt. As I was pulling them on, I snatched my remote from the desk and turned on my extensive stereo system. I'd killed the CD player and hooked up my iPod the other night, and it was still set up that way. I put it on shuffle, laughing humorlessly at the song it chose to play. How appropriate, considering my life had basically corrupted to that of the soul from the lyrics. I pulled on my shoes with a little more force than necessary, distracting myself from the song while I tied the laces.

_I live to die another day_

_Until I fade away_

_Why give up? Why give in?_

_It's not enough, it never is_

_So I will go on until the end..._

A few minutes later I stole my iPod from its dock and jammed it into my pocket, snatching a pack of cigarettes and my car keys along with it. I grabbed my backpack off the floor and stuffed my phone and some loose pieces of paper into it and threw it over my shoulder. Mumbling a stream of complaints to myself, I closed my door and lumbered downstairs to grab something for breakfast. I settled for a bagel and toast, because I was the shittiest cook in the world and wouldn't dare try my luck with eggs or pancakes.

I ate slowly, chewing each bite carefully. Anything to prolong the torture that awaited me. But eventually I threw my plate in the dishwasher and pulled on my jacket before stepping out into the heavy rain. Even running full-speed to my car, I still got drenched. Fuck. Already I was beginning to doubt how my day could possibly get worse. Alice owed me big for this one. She wasn't going to be greeted with a bright smile and a warm hug when she opened that front door, that was for fucking sure.

BELLA—

I knew I should have closed my window last night. Then I wouldn't be stuck in bed with a raging cold and a lurid assistant that I didn't even know. Honestly; this was why I never took advice from anyone. Because I myself gave the worst possible advice imaginable, and I was too afraid to listen to anyone but myself. And for some reason in my highly deluded mind, I'd come to learn and accept that you should never rely on anyone but yourself. I figured if I could screw myself over as easily as I managed to on an almost daily basis, letting someone else take control would leave me dead within the hour. So at least I was just sick…and having trouble breathing…and feeling like someone was pounding on my head with a sledgehammer…aww damn.

"Bell-ll-ll-a!"

I groaned as the shattering soprano trill of my nightmare nurse broke through my self-argument. I grabbed the pillow beside me and threw it over my head, screaming and coughing pitifully.

"Are you feeling any better?" she asked as she knelt down by the bed, crossing her arms on the mattress and staring up at me with absurdly worried eyes. I would have felt gratified by her concern, but the fact that I'd known her for less than a day and she seemed to be permanently overdramatic dampened that fact somewhat. From what I'd observed, Alice was a very skilled off-stage actress. For example, she'd been hovering over me – uninvited, I might add – for the past hour like I was about to die. But this morning I'd been awakened by her rather impressive but irksome opera crescendo that literally damaged my hearing, signaling that she was in a good mood and wished everyone a pleasant day. Apparently it was a routine that took place at the Cullen residence every dawn. For the briefest moment, I felt intense pity for her older brother. But then I remembered he was dating Rosalie, and said pity abruptly vanished. Ha. Now that's what I call karma.

"No Alice, I'm not. Now go away," I mumbled to her, swatting the air blindly with my hand. I kept my face buried in my pillow, not wanting to fall into her gaze again.

She snatched my hand and tucked it back into my side, scoffing lightly. "Why would I do that?"

Because I don't know you and you're kind of freaking me out. "Because I'm tired…I think the medicine is finally kicking in," I lied. Even as awkward as this situation could be, I always put the other person first. Stupid? Usually, yes. But I couldn't help it.

"But that syrup was non-drowsy, silly."

Darn it. Caught red-handed. "Umm…well, I still feel really exhausted, anyway. I don't sleep very well when I'm sick."

"It's your fault that you're sick," she scolded, reminding me of my mom for a second. I didn't know whether to be happy or terrified by that notion. "You should have thought twice before leaving your window wide open when there's a storm going on."

"Mmm." Did this girl ever stop talking and just leave?

"Don't go back to sleep, though," she added, catching a bit more of my attention.

"Why not?" Urrg…I wondered if she could even understand me. I could hardly understand myself. Even my thoughts were thick and clouded.

"Because you're going to have a visitor," she chirped, obviously pleased by the fact. "He'll be here any minute."

Oh no. Did she just say a _guy_ was coming here? I tossed the pillow aside and stared at her in disbelief. "You're joking, right?"

She shook her head, furrowing her delicate black eyebrows together. "No, I'm not. But don't worry; he won't bother you." She sighed lightly. "He's not exactly the most social person."

"Who is he?" I asked warily.

"My cousin. He's our age, and he decided to take the day off of school," she explained. "I knew he wouldn't be doing anything worthwhile, so I told him to crash over here with me and also meet you."

"Oh." I hadn't even known there was another person living at the Cullen's. Great. More people to avoid.

"He's a bit rough around the edges, but he's really sweet deep inside," she assured me, nodding enthusiastically. "Poor guy's just been through a lot…but I'm sure you can relate to that."

What was I supposed to say to that? "Umm…yeah." Wow, nice job, Bella.

"I couldn't imagine life without my parents. I don't know how you do it."

She was staring at me intensely again, and I didn't know what to say or do. I could feel the panic settling in, causing my breathing to hitch and my heart to accelerate. The heat also rose to my face, turning my cheeks their embarrassing trademark scarlet. "Umm…"

Thankfully, I was saved by someone pounding on the front door. Probably Alice's cousin. She seemed to be thinking the same thing, because a huge smile spread across her lips and she jumped up, clapping her small hands together.

"Oh goody, that'll be him! I'll be right back."

Before I could blink she'd flitted out of the room, leaving me alone for once. I glanced at the alarm clock on my nightstand; it was seven forty-five. Rosalie and Jasper had left about fifteen minutes ago to make it to school by eight, and Lily had already left for work when I woke up at six thirty. My day of torture had just begun.

Please, someone shoot me now. Or at least heal my cold.

A male voice in the front snapped me out of my troubling stream of thoughts, quickly drawing my attention. He seemed to be yelling at Alice, annoyed about something. I only managed to catch bits and pieces of their conversation, but I gathered it regarded the rain and her owing him big time for some task she'd forced him to. Perhaps coming to see me.

A few minutes later, Alice came bursting back through the door. No one was following her, and as she loped her way back to me I shot her a quizzical look, arching my eyebrows slightly.

"He's just using the bathroom," she answered my unspoken question, dropping a brown backpack on the ground. "He'll be out in a minute, and then I'll make him come introduce himself to you."

Make him? Ah, so he wasn't the only one unhappy about this arrangement. Humoring Alice was going to cost me enough suffering for just one day; I could hardly imagine living with her _every_ day. The pity that I'd briefly felt for Emmett reappeared for his unnamed cousin.

I sighed and gave her a small nod. Who knew; maybe this guy and I could join forces against the mental little Nazi. Surely she wouldn't be able to escape if he gagged her and bound her wrists. We could stick her in the closet until I was feeling better. That should only take a few days. I chuckled slightly at the thought.

"What?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Nothing," I mumbled, shaking my head. Okay, maybe I was being a little mean. After all, she _was_ trying to help me get well as fast as possible. It was just a bit weird because I didn't know her, and I always tended to be much more of a cynic when my mood was negative. And being sick is an automatic shoe-in to bitchy Bella. As I'd thought last night, at least she was much kinder than my cousin. I had no idea how someone as bubbly as Alice could ever be best friends with Rosalie. How _anyone_ could be friends with her.

"Alice! What did you do with my bag?!"

I was startled by the loud exclamation echoing down the hallway, jumping slightly. Alice looked amused by my reaction, and she rolled her eyes as she shouted back, "It's in here!"

"Where the fuck is here?!"

She sighed heavily and glanced back to me, mouthing _boys_ with a highly contemptuous expression. I couldn't stop the small smile that escaped my lips.

"In Bella's room, idiot!" she screeched. "Down the hall!"

I heard a frustrated groan and the sound of footsteps growing louder, and my heart reacted automatically, accelerating to top speed. I was hit by an upsetting revelation; I didn't want to meet anybody new. Lily was right, I just wasn't ready. I was still too vulnerable. The only reason I'd met Alice was because she'd literally forced herself into my life.

"Alice-" I tried to tell her, but it was already too late.

The noises stopped, and I quickly glanced up to see her tall, lean, and equally pale-skinned cousin leaning against my door frame, staring straight back into my eyes.

_Oh my…holy freaking crow. _

I felt my heart beat frantically again, but for an entirely different reason. This guy was _hot._ Seriously, like the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen in my life. He _had_ to be Rosalie's twin brother in some twisted, parallel-universe sort of way. Not Jasper; I mean, yeah, he was definitely good looking, but no competition compared to this god. They must have switched families at birth or something.

His hair was of medium length, rich and thick and thoroughly disheveled. And it was the strangest shade of copper or bronze…brown with obvious dark red streaks shot through it. Unique, and unintentionally attractive. What did the girls at school call it? Ah, yes. Sex hair. And those eyes…brilliantly green, like pure and dark emeralds. And they were still staring - or rather, _glaring _- at me. And I was just sitting there gawking like a total idiot.

I straightened up as quickly as I could, shooting a frantic glance at Alice. She gave me a look that clearly questioned my sanity before returning her gaze to her impeccable relation.

"So…," she started in a bored tone, surprising me. She'd been so ecstatically enthused just a minute ago. "Edward, this is Rose and Jazz's cousin, Bella Swan. Bella, this is my cousin, Edward Masen." She waved her hand in the habitual introductory fashion, before letting out a small sigh. I looked at her incredulously, and she just shrugged.

There was an awkward silence for a long time, none of us daring to speak. There was no way I was about to make the first move and say something incredibly stupid to this inhumanly attractive stranger. With chagrin I realized how terrible I must look at the moment, not that I ever looked remarkably pretty. But sitting in bed with a thick gray sweatshirt constricting my throat and blankets wrapped completely around me, and my hair probably looking like an absolute disaster – irksome fluffiness included – I was hit with a strong wave of embarrassment. But did I like this guy? Of course not; I didn't know him! I thought he was good looking, but that was all. There had been plenty of good looking guys back home in Arizona. And I felt uncomfortable and irrationally anxious in his presence; the way he was glowering at me made me want to curl up in a hole and disappear. I wanted him to leave and never come back, despite how ridiculously perfect he was.

Amazing or not, he was still unwanted company. My thoughts and feeling hadn't changed from my slight panic attack just before his arrival. I still wasn't ready to meet anyone. I may not be for a long time. And when I was, I would want to start slowly…with girls first. Not that I'd have much success with friends, but at least I could try. I knew I was completely overreacting, but it was just built into my temperament to be paranoid. I hadn't been raped or anything, thank gods for that, but I'd always been extremely sensitive, and I _had_ just lost my parents. That was a scar that would take a long time to heal, and I didn't want to constantly be having breakdowns and anxiety attacks around a boyfriend or something. But again, like anyone would ever be interested in me. I was willing to bet nearly everything I had that switching states and lives wouldn't change anything. My social status would always be low, and I would always have trouble blending in. Forks High was bound to be exactly like Phoenix.

I was pulled out of my depressing musings by Alice, who sharply nudged me with her elbow, causing me to flinch. I shot her a look, but she wasn't staring at me. She was looking at Edward with her eyes narrowed and her lips jutted out in a fierce pout. I was about to ask, but she beat me to it.

"Edward, stop being such an emo bitch and say hello to Bella," she snapped, surprising me again.

My eyes flew to him, widened with my alarm, and his entrancing green ones were wide, too. But he fluidly composed himself in an instant, matching her scowl with his own.

"Why?"

"Because that's what people do when they visit someone in the hospital."

I glanced back to her, thoroughly confused by her actions and the rough and humorless laughter sounding from my right.

"What the fuck, Alice? She just has a cold," he hissed, abruptly serious. "This is her _room_, and you're not a certified nurse. Stop telling me what to do."

She frowned, visibly stung for a moment. "If you didn't want to come, then why did you agree to it on the phone? I thought you were going to be nice."

I watched as his face momentarily crumbled to a deep despair and regret, but as before, he composed himself before I could decide if the emotions had been there at all. I watched and waited for either of them to make the next move, still nervous, and now annoyed. I felt like I was intruding on a private conversation, but the fact that it concerned me slightly relieved my guilt. And this was _my _room; if they wanted to talk, they could go somewhere else. In fact, they could both just go away, period. That would make things so much easier.

Edward glared at Alice with pure malice for a minute, making her flinch, but then he turned his eyes to me and muttered a forced, "Hello."

I was stunned into silence again, but I drew up enough courage to mumble back a shaky and quiet, "Hi." What was wrong with me?! I couldn't even form coherent sentences now?

Before I could blink, he quickly walked inside my room, grabbed his backpack, and disappeared back down the hall, slamming the door as he left. I stared at the closed door for a long time, a frown gradually turning down the corners of my lips. Well, that certainly went well, I thought bitterly. I stood by what I'd said about he and Rosalie; they were absolutely related. Their appearance and demeanor matched flawlessly.

Alice stared after the door, too, a similar frown on her lips. Except she looked like she was about to cry. I was startled by the intense hurt her face harbored; Edward must have really offended her. _Edward_. I hadn't had time to appreciate his name before, but now I allowed myself to. It was a pleasant name, a bit old-fashioned, but very dignified. Edward Masen…I certainly wouldn't be forgetting that name anytime soon. He was now officially on my radar; if I ever heard anyone mention him at school, or if I actually heard him speak, I would automatically know to walk in the opposite direction. The last thing I wanted was another ice-cold run-in with him. I wanted friends…eventually, but certainly not enemies.

Alice released a single, gentle sob, recapturing my attention. I looked back at her and she was wiping tears from her eyes with the back of her hand and shooting me a shy glance. I tried giving her a tiny smile, hoping it would make her feel a little better. My heart instantly softened toward her now, after witnessing the callous way her cousin regarded her. Or at least how he pretended to; I knew I'd seen _something_ on his face.

"I'm sorry about him," she mumbled, sniffling quietly. "I didn't know he was going to act like that. I wouldn't have brought him here."

I shrugged, letting her know I didn't care. "It's fine. Really, I don't mind."

She returned my slight grin with her own. "Thanks."

"Besides, it's not your fault," I continued, not really sure what I was doing. I wasn't used to comforting people; I was stepping on glass and eggshells to avoid hurting her further. "And didn't you say that he'd agreed to this on his own?"

She hesitated for a moment, but gave a delicate nod. "He didn't want to, though."

"Well, then he shouldn't have said yes."

"I know how to get to him, though," she murmured softly. "It really is my fault. I just…I just want to help him. I really really do care about him!" And with that, she was reduced to tears again.

I sighed lightly and leaned forward, wrapping my arms around her in a very awkward hug. She hugged me back tightly, clinging to my sweatshirt for a minute, but then she pushed away and abruptly forced her tears to stop. I didn't know how she could do that, but my eyes widened as I noticed the sudden streak of fury that glinted in her bright green ones. Ones almost like her cousin's, except wider and larger, and fringed by thick black and distinctly feminine lashes.

Alice was remarkably beautiful; I'd failed to notice until this moment. I'd been too distracted by my annoyance to really take a good look at her. She was tiny; thin as a stick and several inches shorter than me, and her skin was the same ghostly white as mine. As I'd thought upon first encountering her, she reminded me greatly of a pixie. Her hair was jet black and cropped extremely short, spiking out in every direction at a length just below her ears. Her eyes were wide and her lips, like Rosalie's, were full and cherry red. I could tell that she was wearing a generous amount of makeup, but not an overdose by any means. Even with obvious mascara and eye liner adding emphasis to her eyes, and shiny lip gloss drawing more attention to her pout, she still looked natural. A beauty like Rosalie, and unlike me.

But at this precise moment I could see the inner strength inside her. She was fierce, and though emotional, the look in her eyes now was deadly. I certainly wouldn't want to make her mad; another thing I added to my memory. Avoid Edward and stay on Alice's good side. Both good to know.

She narrowed her eyes as she glared at my bedroom door, turning her head in my direction to give me a stern look.

"I'll be right back, Bella," she said, and I was surprised by how much stronger her voice sounded. I just nodded, and she finished, "I won't be long. Make sure that you finish your glass of apple juice. I'll make you breakfast in a bit."

Urrg. I'd almost managed to forget about my cold. Thanks for reminding me, Nurse Alice.

I nodded again, sneezing once for accidental emphasis. "Okay, I will," I managed to blearily spit out.

She shot me a brief pitying look, but then it returned to livid determination as she shot up and marched out of the room, making a point of not slamming the door behind her. As soon as she was gone, I fell back against my pillows and sighed deeply. The coughs returned directly after, and I snatched my glass off the nightstand to drown them out. Stupid cold.


	4. Assumptions & Accusations

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, sadly. Edward and Bella belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer. But I do love to turn Edward into an insensitive bastard and Bella into an innocent sweetheart...though I think she already was that. Huh...oh well!

A/N: And here's the third chapter...and the fall play was a success!!! Yay!!! And now it's over and we have to start prepping for the musical...hahaha. So I'm gonna take all the time I can to write. Sorry that it's a bit slow right now; I know you guys want more E/B, and you will get it! I promise! Right now I just kinda have to set the stage, so to speak. So please be patient and hang in there a little while longer, and you'll get them in a few chapters :D Thanks! Don't forget to review!!! Reviews make me very very VERY happy!!!~ ♥

--Stephanie ♥

* * *

3. ASSUMPTIONS & ACCUSATIONS

EDWARD—

As I'd thought before unwillingly leaving the safety and security of my room halfway across town, fuck my life. No; by this point, someone just shoot me.

I was leaning against the counters in the Hale's kitchen, trying to enjoy one of the beers I'd snagged from Carlisle's fridge before I left. Hoping to drown out some of the guilt I felt after treating Alice like shit. But I could hear her tiny feet pounding down on the hallway floorboards, thumping her way toward me. When she threw open the kitchen doors and could reach me, there would be hell to pay.

Angry Alice is absolutely fucking terrifying. A common mistake most people made was underestimating her. But I swear, that miniature spiky-haired porcelain doll has a demon hidden inside of her. And when she wakes it up, she's unstoppable. In the short six weeks that I'd been here, I'd seen her scare Emmett shitless on more than one occasion. And that was saying an awful lot, considering how much larger and naturally frightening her brother was. But all it took from her was one ice-cold death glare and a few powerful choice words, and she could send chills down a serial killer's spine. I wasn't afraid of her though; I knew by heart that she wouldn't hurt a fly. She was all words, no action. Violence was not her specialty, unless she was impossibly pissed off or if the occasion simply called for drastic measures. Then, I would be afraid. It was no secret that she'd been heavily trained in martial arts and self-defense. Again with the underestimating; she looked so pathetic and weak, Emmett was terrified someone would try to take advantage of her. So he tossed her into every threatening-sounding class he could find within the Olympic Peninsula.

Just as I was about to take another swig of my precious alcohol, the doors burst open and slammed hard against the inside walls. I sighed as Alice stalked in, her hands clenched into tight fists at her sides, and her eyes wild and burning like a fire. She was breathing heavily, positively teeming with anger, but I didn't miss the long streaks on her cheeks. She'd been crying. Instantaneously, my guilt returned tenfold. But I wasn't about to let her know. If she wanted a fight, she was sure as hell going to get one.

"Edward," she greeted me in a steely voice.

I nodded in acknowledgement, deciding to play nonchalance. "Alice."

"Don't you 'Alice' me, you fucking bastard," she spat, her chest heaving as she released a shaky breath.

Woah. Guess that approach wasn't going to work. "Fine. What would you like me to call you, then?"

"Shut up."

"Are you sure? That's not a very attractive name for such a pretty face." I knew I was just increasing her fury, but I didn't care enough to stop. Maybe she'd just explode from the pressure her rage had to be giving her, and then she'd be much easier to deal with.

"I'm serious," she growled, taking another step toward me. "Stop being such a prick."

"I would if I could, darling," I replied, slamming my beer on the counter. "But it looks like you're out of luck."

"Don't call me darling!"

"Oh right, I'm sorry. My mistake," I said sarcastically, shrugging. "I forgot that only Jasper is allowed to call you that. It's too bad that he never will."

I knew that was a low blow, using someone else, and more importantly using her greatest weakness against her. I knew that Jasper was just as obsessed with her as she was him; it wasn't hard to tell from an outsider's perspective. But she didn't realize it. And I couldn't stop myself. I knew I was pushing it before, but this time she finally snapped.

Before I could blink she'd lunged at me. I shouted out in surprise as all eighty-five pounds of her barreled into my chest, hard. I wasn't the strongest person in the world, but I was certainly not weak by any means. I remembered what I'd just thought about Alice being an unstoppable force when she had the true drive behind her actions, and mentally slapped myself for not thinking straight. And as for not being violent; fuck that. Using Jasper was more than enough to throw her self-restraint out the window. Impossibly pissed off was officially an extreme understatement.

"How dare you say that to me!" she screamed as she pounded on my chest, digging her fingers into my flesh through my soaked shirt. Her nails were long and sharp, and the pain each blow brought was staggering. I could feel fresh blood mixing with the rain water, trickling down my skin and showing in the tears she'd ripped in the gray shirt.

I tried to push her off of me, but she deflected all my attempts and brought her wrist back to slap me sharply across the face. My eyes widened in shock as I brought my hand up to my stinging cheek. I watched, staggered, as she jumped down and gave me the sharpest glare I'd ever seen from her. But in an instant, it melted away and I could see the deep throbbing hurt I'd instilled in her. Her eyes lost their flames, and they filled with tears as she slowly backed away from me.

"You have no right to ever say something like that to me," she shouted, her voice crippled by the sobs that were beginning to rip from her throat. "After all I've done for you! It was by my suggestion that you're even here in Washington! You could've been put on the streets, or in a foster home, but I saved you! I gave you a home, and I put up with you every day and try so fucking hard to make you happy, because I know how much pain you've suffered! My life isn't easy either, but I pushed it aside to make room for your problems, because I love you and I don't want you to be miserable! And how do you treat me? Like trash. Like absolute fucking garbage! And how do you treat my friends, and people that you've never even met?! Are you that heartless, Edward? Do you honestly take pleasure out of hurting other people? Because if you do, then keep digging in my wounds. I'll welcome the pain if it makes you happy."

I could hardly believe what she was saying. In all the days from these two months, and the holiday trips since we were little, I'd never known Alice to lose control so completely. It was terrifying to watch…and as much as I hated to admit it, incredibly painful. The abrasions she was talking about, the mere scratches I'd given her, were nothing compared to the devastatingly profound scars she was giving me. The wounds everyone gave me, even myself. I knew I was the main cause behind all of my misery, but that was a fact I couldn't change. But I couldn't just stand here and continue watching her burn like this. In complete honesty, she was the only one in the entire world that I really cared about. At all. The others were alright, but nothing like Alice. She was right. She'd saved my life. And I owed her so much more than what I constantly gave her.

But she would never see that respect and compassion come from me. It was there, but it had to remain locked within me. Because that's how I was; I hurt the ones I loved. And they hurt me right back, whether they realized it or not. It was like an endless circle, or a pendulum swinging back and forth on its axel forever. Come and go. Love and hate. Fire and ice. And simply, pain. Never-ending pain.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and forced my face to remain hard; guarded. When I finally looked back at her, the only emotion showing through my eyes was ice cold bitterness. It was nearly impossible to continue glaring at her like this, especially now that her hostile façade had fallen through. But I just couldn't drop down on my knees and beg for her forgiveness.

I exhaled a sharp breath and furrowed my eyebrows, hoping it would make me look slightly less intimidating. Because I knew Alice was scared of me; she knew what I was capable of doing. She would never admit it, but I could feel her terror some days. Just like I wanted to be as far away from her as manageable when she threw one of her true hissy-fits. Because that little girl could explode like a high-class fucking grenade.

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, Alice," I told her, keeping my tone level. Her eyes flashed for the briefest second, but I continued without giving her the chance to interrupt. "I'm not going to lie to you. You did make the first move to take me in, but did you honestly think that Carlisle and Esme would have just left me if you hadn't mentioned anything? Your mom is among the most compassionate women I know. In fact, I think she's _the_ most kind-hearted person I've ever met. And your father, too. So don't flatter yourself, Ali. And as for your friends, please give me one good reason why I should care about them at all. They're your friends, not mine. And that bitch down the hall, well I blatantly told you that I didn't want to meet her. So don't blame that shit on me."

That seemed to bring some life back into her. Her cheeks flushed red with anger, and the spark was back, turning her eyes into green fire. "Bella is _not_ a bitch! Don't ever say that about her again! You don't even know her!"

I blinked, momentarily shocked. All she'd gotten out of that was the little snipe about…Bella? "Alice, are you crazy?! You don't know her, either!"

She huffed indignantly, crossing her arms over her chest. "I know her enough to see how sweet a girl she is. She's gentle, and shy, and sarcastic in the non-serious and completely hilarious way. And despite all that she's just been through, she went out of her way to comfort _me_, after you trashed _her!_ If that doesn't say something about a person, that I don't know what does."

"Alice, I don't care! I don't care what you think about that girl! The only thing _I_ know is that she's unwelcome around me, so if you expect me to go back and apologize, then you're out of luck."

"Of course I didn't expect you to."

I stared at her in confusion, momentarily forgetting my agitation. "Oh. Really?"

She nodded once. "Why would I ever have that much faith in you? Honestly, I can't expect anything of you! You're the most pathetic excuse for a well-raised young man I can imagine! If you can't apologize to me, why would I ever _think_ that you'd apologize to a stranger that, by the way, did absolutely nothing to you?"

I glowered at her, narrowing my eyes again. "She's here. That's bad enough. And you brought me here. In case you haven't noticed, I _hate_ girls."

She gave me an incredulous look, her eyes going wide in disbelief. "How can you be so insensitive? She's here because she had no choice. She's here because her parents are _dead!_"

I flinched slightly. "And?"

"And, you of all people should understand!"

"Don't use that against me," I snapped, giving her a warning look. "Don't you _fucking_ dare use that against me!"

"Or what?" she challenged, her voice regaining its strength despite the tears that still fell heavily from her eyes. "What are you going to do to me, Edward? You'd never hit a girl, let alone your cousin. Or are your manners really that bad? Did mommy Elizabeth really never teach you right?"

That was it. I'd struck her hard and low, and now it was her turn. If she expected me to take that, then she'd lost her mind. No one insulted my mom.

I was about to run her through with my fist, but something stopped us both in our tracks. A piercing scream coming from across the room. Our widened eyes met and darted to the doorway, where Bella stood in a state of shock. Her terrified eyes were locked on me, and I swear I could almost feel her heart pounding out of her chest. She was scared to death.

My eyes snapped back to Alice, and I noticed she'd straightened up and was wiping the tears from her eyes. A second later she walked over to Bella and put a gentle hand on her shoulder, but Bella didn't seem to notice. She was still looking at me.

Following Alice's lead, I straightened up and tried to smooth what was left of my shirt. Blood still seeped from the wounds on my chest, and my whole body was stinging and aching from the pain of it. I wiped my hands on my pants and returned my gaze to the frightened brunette, giving her a fierce glare that made her retreat back a step.

"Edward, stop it!" Alice hissed at me, but I ignored her and took a step forward, toward Bella.

"What are you doing here?" I spat at her, feeling my hands involuntarily clench back into fists.

Her eyes widened and she stumbled as she took another backward step. "I…I'm…"

"Stop stuttering and answer the fucking question! You have no right to be here. This is a private conversation," I continued, letting the rage flow through me freely. I felt immense guilt for backstabbing Alice, but none at all for threatening this girl. Because as Alice had said, she was a stranger. A weak one at that. People that didn't stand up for themselves disgusted me. They were just asking to get walked all over.

"Edward!" Alice shrieked, giving me an appalled look.

"No, he's right," Bella mumbled, surprising us both. She bowed her head and glanced down at her feet, letting her long brown hair shield her face. Coward.

"Bella, let's go back to your room, okay?" Alice said softly, using the hand on her shoulder to ease her back a few more steps.

Bella brushed her off, though, and raised her head to meet my eyes again. She was still trembling, and now she almost looked like she was about to cry, but something in her eyes was determined. It caught me off guard for a second, and I decided I'd give her a chance. I crossed my arms firmly across my chest and arched one eyebrow, a look that meant I was waiting for whatever it was she wanted to say.

She took a deep breath and, in an unexpectedly calm voice, said, "I got up to get a glass of water from the bathroom sink, but when I was in the hallway I heard shouting. I knew that Alice had been angry when she left to talk to you, but I was startled by the hostility of your voices. I just wanted to see if you were both alright, and when I stepped into the kitchen I saw blood on the floor and panicked. I glanced up and realized that you were about to hurt Alice, and that's when you noticed me."

My arms had loosened unconsciously during her explanation, but I still wasn't impressed, and my opinion of her hadn't changed. So, she wasn't quite as weak as I'd thought, but she still hadn't stood up for herself. She'd chosen to lecture me instead. Bitch. That was the reason I'd stayed home from school. I asked her why she was here. That was a simple question that could be answered with a simple response.

I was about to tell her off but she beat me to it, sending me into silence again.

"I'll leave now," she finished, taking Alice's hand in her own. "But I just want to say one thing first. I'm sorry."

I stared at her openly, stunned. What the fuck?! I caught Alice's eye for the briefest second and noticed the smug smile on her lips. No doubt _she_ was ready to lecture me again, now. Because the universe loved to prove Alice right, and now the stranger had apologized to me instead of me apologizing to her. I glared at my cousin and her smile grew.

"I'm sorry for disrupting your _conversation_," Bella added, catching my attention again. The way she'd added a touch of that sarcasm Alice had mentioned almost made me want to go and punch her in the face, too. She'd be much easier to hit. The thought made _me_ smile.

"Good," I told her harshly. "Now get the fuck out."

"You didn't let me finish," she shot back. Woah, where did that strength come from? A second ago she looked like she was about to pass out. I scowled at her again, and her fierce stance wavered. Still shaky after all, but I had to admit I was a bit impressed.

"I said I was sorry for interrupting," she said quietly, the momentary burst of vigor disappeared. But her eyes were still determined. "But I'm not sorry for stopping you from hurting Alice."

So she was noble. Good for her.

Her eyes drifted down to my chest, and the red blush in her cheeks faded. She took another deep breath and almost collapsed, but Alice caught her. I watched the display with confusion, but figured it was just her nerves giving out.

"Bella?! Bella, what is it?" Alice asked her frantically, shaking her slightly as she struggled to keep the taller girl on her feet.

"Bl…blood," she gasped, closing her eyes. "Too much blood."

Alice glanced at me for a second, but then she quickly averted her eyes. I looked down at my chest again and noticed for the first time the actual amount of blood that was covering me. And hadn't she said something about some on the floor, too? I hadn't touched Alice, so it had to be mine. Shit. Fuck. Alice was definitely going to pay for this.

"Deep breaths, Bella," I heard the little pixie tell her. "Let's get back to your room, and then I'll get you that glass of water."

Bella nodded weakly, nearing unconsciousness by the expression on her face. She couldn't handle blood? Seriously? I'd have to make a mental note to take her on a fieldtrip to the hospital sometime. Show her the emergency room and let her watch my uncle work. That's sure to be entertaining. I chuckled quietly to myself, already devising my plan.

Alice noticed and shot me a pointed look, and I just winked back at her. Her eyes narrowed and her lips drew together in a tight pout.

"This isn't over, Edward," she said in a low, dangerous voice. I knew better than to try shit with her when she spoke like that.

So instead, I picked up my backpack from the counter and threw one strap over my shoulder. I grabbed a kitchen towel and soaked in under the faucet before pressing it against my battered chest. I held back my anger and gave my cousin a slight bow before walking away and pushing the back kitchen door open.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I looked back over my shoulder and gave Alice a condescending smile. "Home, of course. You're actually right for once. This isn't over yet, but it is for now. Goodbye."

And with that, I slammed the door shut behind me before she could open her mouth to reply.

BELLA—

As I sat on my bed watching Alice pace across the room, I myself was hit by the powerful urge to get up and walk around. But according to her, I was in no shape to do that and honestly, I wasn't about to argue. Fainting spells always left me pale and exhausted, not that I wasn't already both of those things on a more permanent degree. But on top of being sick, I could feel all my limited energy just evaporating through my skin.

I reached over and picked up the glass of water that Alice had kindly retrieved for me, not that I hadn't protested. I felt like a complete child, incapable of doing anything useful. But she'd told me that as long as I was sick she was going to baby me as much as she wanted to. I'd tried to sound annoyed as I complained and resisted, but in my head I was smiling. Once I looked past the overwhelming pushiness and force that was Alice, I realized that she was truly a sweet and caring girl underneath all the unbridled joie de vivre and in-your-face jazz. She was just very passionate about things, and didn't take any matter lightly. She examined and sang and prodded the life out of it before even really attempting to understand it. I wasn't quite sure what had done it, but something in the past hour had completely eased my irritation, and I'd been captured by her spell. As hesitant as I was, I wasn't afraid to think – if not say – that I had possibly found my first friend in Forks.

I think it was when she'd stood up to Edward. The feat seemed terrifying to my sheltered mind, and I was impressed by her bravery. I'd never fought with a guy before. Probably because I really didn't know any guys to pick fights with. But I was perfectly content to keep it that way, and I was hoping on my life that Edward would forget about today and never bother me again. He may be Alice's cousin, but he was nothing like her. He was a monster.

I still couldn't believe what she'd done to him, though. Scraping wounds through his chest? I hadn't really thought her the violent type at first glance, but I guess first impressions were often wrong. I'd known from the start that I didn't want to be on her bad side, though, after listening to the beginning of her fight with Rosalie from the night before. Rosalie wouldn't hesitate to slap me if I ever stood up to her, and I figured I wouldn't experiment and see what Alice would do.

"Bella, are you okay?"

I was snapped from my reverie by the sound of her voice, and I glanced ahead and saw that she had stopped pacing and was now sitting on the edge of my bed. She was leaning against the metal frame at the end of it, staring at me with her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied. "Why do you ask?"

She frowned. "You just look like you're concentrating really hard on something. I didn't want to pull you from an important thought, but you looked really worried."

"Oh." I matched her frown. "Sorry. I have a tendency to do that."

"Why are you apologizing?"

I laughed humorlessly and shook my head. "Another tendency. I always apologize for everything, even when I have absolutely no reason to."

She smiled slightly. "Well, I guess that's not a bad thing. People will always assume you're polite."

"I suppose so. But even if I don't say anything they can always tell when I'm sorry by my face. My mom used to say I was like an open book; she could read my expressions like they were written across my forehead."

"That just means you're expressive."

"It means I'm incapable of bottling things up."

Her smile disappeared. "You don't want to keep things locked inside of you, Bella. They'll die to break out and it will just end up hurting you more."

I stared at her in alarm, surprised by the serious edge her voice had taken on. "How do you know that?"

She delicately shrugged one shoulder. "Personal experience."

I sensed a story behind her casual dismissal, but didn't press her. She'd tell me if she wanted to, and besides, I _had_ only known her for one day. I wasn't telling her much about me; she supplied all the conversation. It only seemed fair that I should keep my mouth shut now.

We were silent for a minute after that, just listening to the rain pounding against my window, which was now closed. The first thing Alice had done when she sabotaged me this morning was launch herself at my window and slam it shut. I couldn't blame her; it was pretty stupid of me to leave it open. But I honestly thought that I would be okay. Nonetheless, I should have closed it. Then I wouldn't be stuck here in bed, and this morning's disastrous events would have never taken place.

"Bella?"

"Hmmm?" I looked up at her when she called.

"You've got that look on your face again."

I sighed. "Yeah, sorry."

She rolled her eyes at my automatic apology. "What's up?"

"I don't know…I'm still just trying to digest all that's happened in the past few hours."

"You and me both," she agreed, nodding her head in understanding.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused. "Doesn't your cousin always act like that?"

She quickly shook her head, widening her eyes. "Oh, no! No, he's doesn't, I swear."

"Oh." I frowned slightly, furrowing my eyebrows.

"You should have heard us on the phone before he came here," she continued in a hurried tone. "He was much nicer…he just…I don't know. Lost it for some reason. And I guess…I did, too. It was my fault that violence got dragged into our conversation, because originally it was just that. A conversation. Well, more like a showdown, but he just said something that kind of made me snap so I jumped him. And then I don't know, I said something back…"

"Alice."

She was quiet immediately and looked up at me with a panicked expression. I reached over and put my hand on her arm.

"Alice, I believe you. You don't need to prove anything to me."

That seemed to calm her down a bit, but I could still feel the heavy tension coiled under her skin. It was a feeling I knew very well.

"I just feel terrible now!" she suddenly exclaimed, bringing the heel of her hand up to smack her in the face. "I said some really awful things to him, and he's already got so much to deal with!"

"I'm sure he'll forgive you," I tried to assure her, though I doubted my words. From my first impression, he didn't seem like the forgiving type. And even though she vehemently claimed that he was good, I was going to stick to that impression until he proved me wrong.

"No, he shouldn't," she said, her words muffled by the hand covering her face. "I truly was a bitch to him, but I wasn't lying. He really got it straight and vinegar-soaked. And I don't regret it."

She let her hand fall back to her lap, and raised her head to stare at the wall in front of her. When she spoke again, her voice was more detached, more subdued. I knew she was downplaying something, but like before, I didn't want to ask.

"He said some terrible things to me, though," she said softly, her eyes hazing over. "I know he has good inside him, but he does indeed have evil, too. His past is seriously fucked up, but that still doesn't excuse his behavior. I really want to teach him a solid lesson, but…as pathetic as it sounds, I'm scared of him."

I nodded once, not sure if she was paying attention or not. That was definitely understandable, though. It sounded like she had a lot on her mind, more than I did, and I wished I knew some way to relieve some of the stress.

"He used one of my greatest weaknesses against me," she murmured, dragging me from my straying thoughts. "And then he turned what I'd shot at him, and was able to use that against me, too. I just can't win against him. And he just won't let me inside his head, either. It's so frustrating."

I didn't know what else to say, so I gave her a sympathetic, "I'm sorry."

She glanced over at me and gave me a tiny smile. "You know what? I take back what I said about the apologizing. We're going to have to do something about that."

I laughed once. "Yeah…you're not the first person to tell me that, trust me."

"It's cute, though," she said, instantly lightening the mood. I could tell that she wanted to veer away from the depressing stuff, so I decided tp play along.

"I can tell that you're cute, too," she added. "Well, actually, more like amazingly beautiful…but your hair seriously needs to be brushed."

I made a face and shook my head. "Uggh. Me and beautiful? I don't think so."

"Yes you do," she grinned. "You'd better. Low self-confidence is bad."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You're right about my hair, though. It has a tendency to fluff up."

"But it's so pretty and long," Alice complimented, reaching over to run her hand along it. "Mine's so short, and it doesn't grow very fast."

"I think it's adorable," I told her. "It makes you look like a pixie."

"Oh yeah, I've been getting that for _years_." She stuck out her tongue and scrunched up her face, making me laugh.

I couldn't believe how easily I was getting along with her, and that I was actually enjoying myself. I hadn't had friends in a long time. I guess I'd forgotten how nice it felt being close to someone. And I had a feeling I'd be seeing a lot of Alice, what with Rosalie and Jasper both living here. I felt bad thinking back just two hours ago, when I'd contemplating gagging her and throwing her in my closet. But that's how I was every morning; my thought process didn't really begin to function until I'd been awake at least an hour. And the added negativity of being sick with a nasty cold also helped a bit. I'm sure if my best friend from freshman year was still here, I'd have probably chucked her into my closet, too.

"I promised you I would make you breakfast," she exclaimed abruptly, clapping her hands together. "What would you like?"

I groaned. "Alice, that's completely unnecessary."

"No it isn't." She looked at me like I had just told her the sky was falling and we were about to die.

"How do you figure that?"

"Well, because when I'm sick, my mom always takes care of me. And then my best friend spends the night with me and tries to make me feel better. So, I'm standing in as your mom and also your new best friend, because you need to be pampered in this miserable time."

I rolled my eyes at the last part, but the rest surprised me a bit. Especially the thought of Rosalie running around filling every little demand of a sick Alice, and actually being…nice. That thought alone was beyond me. I'd never seen her act nice to anyone, besides her mom and Jasper of course. But I was touched by Alice's desire to make me happy. It wasn't something I was used to feeling from people my age.

"So, I'll ask you again. What would you like, Bella?"

I gave her a tiny smile, remembering my favorite breakfast as a little girl. One that I hadn't had in years, due to the hassle of getting to school on time every morning, and my supreme laziness on weekends. "French toast with powdered sugar, syrup, and whipped cream. The way my mom used to make it for me."


	5. Aftermath

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, sadly. Edward and Bella belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer. SHE IS AMAZING DESPITE WHAT ANYONE SAYS. That is all. The end. Goodbye.

A/N: Next chapter, next chapter, next chapter...yeah, not much other to say than that. Sorry for the delay - things are getting crazy near the holidays!!!! I hope to update again before Christmas, but if not...MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE :D Thanks for reading, and remember to review!!!

--Stephanie

* * *

4. AFTERMATH

BELLA—

Unfortunately for me, I stayed miserably sick for the next three days, and even after the worst part was over I couldn't even stand the notion of going to school. Alice stayed loyally by my side the rest of that Monday and all of Tuesday, but after a long, dramatic, and heated conversation I finally convinced her to go back to school on Wednesday. There was no need for her to suffer and get buried by makeup work as her reward for being such a fabulous nurse. Well…a pretty fabulous nurse.

Lily took Thursday off work to further assist me, as I was still temporarily handicapped by my crippling ailment. Because when I got sick, I _really_ got sick. Everyone felt bad for me. Everyone but Rosalie, of course. I normally detested others' pity, but for once it actually felt kind of nice. Even Jasper came in one day after school and sat on my bed for hours, trying to cheer me up. I officially retracted every negative thing I ever thought about him; he was one of the sweetest guys ever. I just wanted to give him a big hug and thank him for being the most amazing cousin I could have ever asked for.

By the time Saturday rolled around and I still wasn't much better, Lily decided it was time I went to a doctor. We'd figured out by that point that I had a fever and would need some over-the-counter medicine. I'd resisted at first, because for obvious reasons I hated doctors and hospitals, but she finally persuaded me to go. It wasn't until we were walking through the front doors of the Forks Community Hospital that I remembered Alice's father worked here. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but there wasn't much I could do about it now.

Lily had made an appointment for me, but hadn't specified which doctor would see me. Because I hadn't been in Washington for very long, I didn't have my own personal doctor like I'd had back home. And because Forks was so ridiculously small, there was no general clinic or treatment center and whatnot; if you were sick, you just went straight to the hospital and were given to the nearest available doctor. And for me, of course that doctor was Dr. Cullen.

I didn't look at him when he first came into the small office. I was sitting on one of those stiff crinkly mattresses, feeling just like a little girl coming to have her checkup. Lily rose from her chair in the corner to greet him, and I stared down at my interlocked hands.

"Carlisle, I was hoping she would have you," she said fondly.

The doctor laughed, and I faintly recognized his voice from the night he'd stayed for dinner. "Of course. Always expect me where your family is concerned."

Footsteps approached me, and stopped directly before me. But I kept my head down, my shyness overpowering my curiosity.

I heard another chuckle, and then the same gentle but authoritative voice asked, "So, this is Isabella?"

My head snapped up as an automatic reaction to my name, and I was caught off guard by the man smiling down at me. Piercing gray eyes behind smart black frames, pale skin, and straight blonde hair nearly a platinum shade. He couldn't be older than Lily. I blinked, stunned. Was everyone in Forks just uncommonly beautiful? My self-esteem just dropped a few more points.

"Nice to meet you, Isabella," the doctor told me, extending his hand as a friendly gesture. I took it hesitantly, and he shook it.

"I'm Dr. Cullen," he continued, dropping my hand and taking a step back. "But you can call me Carlisle. Our families are very close, so I expect you'll be seeing quite a bit of myself, as well as my wife and children. Though I've heard you've already made friends with my daughter, Alice." He smiled again.

I didn't know how to respond. "Umm…thank you. And yes."

He nodded once. "Your aunt tells me that you've been feeling ill all week. Can you tell me your symptoms?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and slowly nodded. "Well I slept with my window open on Sunday, and when I woke up on Monday I could barely breathe. Alice kept chucking medicine down my throat until Wednesday, and then Lily switched me to something else. I'm a bit better now, but I still have a fever and congestion."

Dr. Cullen kept nodding, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Good. That should be easy to treat." He shot me a brief grin. "I'll have you feeling better in no time."

I gave him a small smile in return. "Thanks."

He then proceeded to check my temperature and breathing, ending with my pulse just to make sure everything was normal. He wrote down some notes on his clipboard and handed a slip to Lily.

"Just go to the pharmacy counter near the front and give them this," he explained. "If Isabella has two of the pills a day, they should last for five days. She'll be fine by then."

"It's Bella," I said automatically, catching the doctor's attention.

He stared at me quizzically with his lips pursed. "Hmm?"

"Bella," I said again, blushing slightly. "I like to be called Bella."

"Oh," he said, blinking. "My apologies."

"It's no problem," I mumbled, leaning my head down and letting my hair fall in front of my face.

"You're just like my daughter," he laughed, having recovered. "She hates her real name, so she's always gone by her middle name. Breaks her mother's heart." He shook his head.

"Alice isn't her real name?" I asked, stunned.

"No, it's Mary."

I filed the fact away for future study. If I really thought about it, I guess I could see her as a Mary. Maybe if she grew out her hair a bit. "Hmm."

I zoned out for a while after that, lost in an endless train of thoughts with no meaning. When I snapped back to reality, I was in my room at the Hale's.

I saw movement near the end of my bed and looked up, startled to see Jasper staring at me intently. When he saw he'd caught my attention, he smiled. "Hey Bella."

I smiled back hesitantly. "Hi Jasper. What are you doing here?"

He shrugged, looking mildly embarrassed. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. Sorry…I just thought that after I was in here the other day, you wouldn't mind…"

I realized how rude I sounded, and quickly backtracked. "No, it's fine! Really, I appreciate it. Thanks."

He smiled again, a bit surer. "Do you think you're going to go to school on Monday?"

I sighed. "Yeah, I guess. If I do better tomorrow."

He nodded once. "I can give you a ride if you want. I know you don't like being around Rose."

I stared at him in surprise. "But I thought you didn't have a car."

"I don't," he said simply. "I have something else."

I raised my eyebrows, waiting for him to elaborate.

He took a moment for dramatic silence, and then whispered, "I have a motorbike."

"A motorcycle!" He expected me to ride on the back of a motorcycle?!

"Yeah, it's a Ducati." He grinned proudly. "Have you ever been on a motorcycle before?"

I shook my head. "Never."

"It's so much fun; it's such a thrill. I promise you'll love it."

I nodded vaguely. "Okay…?"

"You don't have to if it's raining, though. We'll only ride if it's dry."

"Mmm." But doesn't it rain here every day? "Umm…is that all you wanted to tell me?"

He shrugged again. "If you want me to leave, I will. I just thought you might want some company."

"No, you can stay," I said quickly. "Whenever Alice isn't here I get bored out of my mind."

He laughed lightly, seemingly flustered by Alice's name. I knew it wouldn't be long before they finally professed their love to each other; all she ever did when he wasn't around was gush about how amazingly perfect he was. And he always gave me the same reaction whenever I brought her up.

"Er, why isn't she here now?" he asked, his cheeks turning pink. If I didn't have so much respect for him, I would have laughed at him. Jasper was so shy; it was adorable. And completely relatable, at least to me.

I ignored the uncomfortable glances he was shooting me and calmly answered, "I felt bad that she was spending all her extra time taking care of me, so I forced her to take the weekend off."

"Oh." His face fell slightly, but he quickly composed himself.

"I can ask her to come, if you want?"

His eyes flashed up to mine in a panic. He looked like a deer in the headlights, or a child that had just been caught doing something bad. "What?! No, why would you think I want her here?"

His voice gave him straight away, and I couldn't hold back my small smile. "Jasper, stop stuttering like an idiot. We both know you're lying through your teeth."

He looked indignant for a second, but then he sighed heavily and slumped forward in defeat. "Yeah, you're right."

"You should ask her out."

He shook his head, sighing again. "Who am I kidding? She'd never like someone like me."

I raised my eyebrows. "Oh really?"

"Just look at her!" he exclaimed, raising his head again. "She's so beautiful."

"And you're gorgeous," I shot back.

Now it was his turn to raise his eyebrows at me. "Really?"

I rolled my eyes. "You're a Hale. You guys have like some weird beauty gene that makes you unbelievably good looking. I'm sure if you really paid attention for a second, you'd realize that everyone at your school is after you and your sister."

He blushed again. "Thanks."

"If anyone's perfectly matched for Alice, it's you. You're cool and collected, and she'd devastate the population if released on the world. I seriously think you need to ask her out."

"I don't know." He shifted uncomfortably on the bed. "Maybe I'll ask her to Winter Formal."

"Good idea," I agreed. "When's that?"

"In December."

Okay, bad idea. "December? Not to pressure you Jasper, but do you really want to wait that long?"

He shrugged. "I don't know...I guess I could do it sooner."

"Just…don't back out, okay? I'll tell you a little secret, but you can't tell anyone."

He nodded and leaned in a bit closer. "Okay."

"She really likes you, too."

His eyes widened a bit and he looked at me with another startled expression. "Do you know that?"

"Yes. Just don't tell her."

He nodded again, much slower this time. "Wow. Thanks."

"No problem." I flashed him a brief smile. "Do you want me to call her?"

"No, it's fine. I'll see her on Monday."

"You should take her to school on your motorcycle some time," I suggested. I'd never realized how much fun it was to play matchmaker and give ideas. Alice had talked about it a few times, but I'd just thought it was silly.

"Yeah, she seems like a thrill seeker."

I laughed. "Oh yes, definitely."

He grinned at me. "Hey, do you want to watch a movie? Mom and Rose aren't home, so we won't have to fight for the TV."

I blinked in astonishment. Wow. Jasper really was a nice guy.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun," I agreed enthusiastically. "Anything's better than lying in bed all day."

"Have you taken your medicine yet?"

I sighed. "Yes Mother, I have." I winced slightly at my own statement.

He put up his hands in defense. "Hey, I just want you to feel better."

"I know." I sat up and threw my sheets back, starting to get out of bed.

Jasper stood up and came over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me up.

"What are you doing?" I asked him as he proceeded to effortlessly scoop me up in his arms bridal style. Holy crow he was strong.

"You're still sick, and therefore a cripple," he grinned down at me. "So I'm being a proper gentleman and making sure you don't have to exert any energy."

"Oh…umm. Thanks."

He just laughed at my expression and started to walk out the door. I wrapped my arms securely around his neck, just in case he dropped me. Or, in the much more likely case, I lost my balance and fell back. But he seemed to have a pretty strong hold on me; I wasn't much to hold on to.

"What movie would you like?"

I pursed my lips. "Something dark, and confusing. I don't feel like being a comedy slacker. My brain needs a workout."

"Perfect," he nodded. "How about _Like Minds_?"

"Mmm…Tom Sturridge." I closed my eyes and hummed my approval.

"I'll take that as a yes," he chuckled.

He set me on the couch and grabbed the DVD out of the oak cabinet next to the large plasma screen. After setting it up, he threw a blanket over my legs and ruffled my hair. I swatted his hand away and he laughed again.

"Okay, little Swan, I'm going to go make you some soup. Go ahead and start the movie; I'll be back in a few minutes." He handed me the remote and pushed open the kitchen door, disappearing inside.

I tried to fix my hair but quickly gave up, clicking play on the remote instead. It was late enough in the afternoon that it was starting to get dark, but not enough for me to get scared. And even if I did, Jasper was here to protect me. I settled back into the couch cushions, smiling contently. Maybe life here wouldn't be as bad as I'd feared.

EDWARD --

The week following my fieldtrip to the Hale's didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped. Alice was still majorly pissy around me, and of course I got sick of her bitchy little remarks and fought back. By Friday she had a twisted wrist, but I'd sustained many blows to my face and chest. It took all my restraint not to just jump her and break her back. She could be so fucking annoying! But she was still my cousin, and I still loved her. Just in a very cynical twisted way.

I was in a foul mood the rest of that Monday, sulking around the house and getting wasted, just as the little devil pixie had predicted. When school let out I locked myself in my room, worried she'd come home once Rosalie and Jasper arrived back at their house. But an hour later, only Emmett had come sauntering through the front door, and I figured I was safe. But I still didn't feel like socializing. I kept my door closed and blocked myself off from the rest of the world, only coming out a few hours later for dinner. By then Carlisle and Esme had returned from work, but there was still no sign of Alice.

The next day I was blessed with similar luck, only catching a quick glance of her as she returned home from the Hale's late in the evening. She shot me a mild glare as she retreated to her room, and I returned it tenfold. If she wanted to be nice to me, then maybe I'd listen. But until then I was going to treat her just as poorly as she disregarded me. Two could easily play that game.

Wednesday I decided to drag my ass out of bed and go to school, only because I knew I'd regret it if I didn't. Junior year was a bitch; more homework than beyond rationality. And missing two days when I didn't have a truly legitimate reason was a major fuck up on my part. Maybe if I'd just gone to school on Monday, Alice wouldn't hate me. But it still wasn't my fault. It was that fucking orphan girl. What was her name…Bella? Whatever. She could go jump off a cliff for all I cared. If she'd just been smart enough to close her window in the middle of a storm, Alice and I wouldn't be at each other's throats.

Thursday passed in a parallel fashion to Wednesday; pointless and so boring it shouldn't be legal. I tried to pay attention in class, but all I wanted to do was fall asleep. Government lectures were ridiculously tedious, and my teacher could take the happiness out of fucking Disneyland without even trying. I took notes and answered questions when called on, just like any other respectable student. I always excelled in my classes and had a high reputation with my teachers, but my fellow students knew the other side of me. In the month that I'd been here I'd clearly demonstrated how angry I could get, and how dangerous I could be when thoroughly pissed off. They knew I wanted them to stay away, but a few of them were thick enough to see past that. I didn't want friends and I certainly didn't want a girlfriend, at least not one of the girls here. They were all shameless and brainless flirts. Complete blondes - even the brunettes and redheads. They could go fuck themselves.

Friday was uneventful, except for the fact that it started the weekend. And I ditched enough school that it really didn't matter to me. Weekends meant that Esme would be home, and Rosalie and Jasper would usually be over. That alone made me almost like weekdays better. At least no one bothered me.

I lost track of time after that, and before I knew it, it was late Sunday night. The only things I'd accomplished the past two days were a ton of homework, and managing to piss Alice off even further. Things were just not going my way.

Monday was enough to make it worse. The first day of school always put me in a bad mood, but this one was exceptionally terrible. My favorite teacher was gone and a legitimately crazy sub had filled for her, they made us run _outside_ in gym even though it was raining buckets, and Bella had started school. Alice dragged her along everywhere, naturally, and during lunch she'd taken her to a separate table, leaving me alone with Emmett and the Hale twins. Saying that was uncomfortable would be the understatement of the century. Emm and Jasper kept up a playful banter mocking the other's sport and their team – Emmett was quarterback on the football team and Jasper played baseball – but Rosalie kept glaring at Alice and Bella the entire period, fire in her eyes. She had an icy glower of death, and I could almost feel the air around her grow colder by the second.

The worst part of the day was definitely biology, though. Bella was in my class. Well, technically she was in three of my classes - damn the Forks High School district and its fucking microscopic student population - but in biology she was my partner by force. Right next to me. Glaring at me the whole hour. So, Alice had gotten to her, too.

Every time I turned my head to scowl back at her, she already had her eyes narrowed and a heavy frown curling down her lips. She sat with her back straighter than a board, and her head held at a condescending angle, like she was my superior. As if. When I wasn't looking directly at her, just glancing from the corner of my eyes, her demeanor was entirely different. Her posture was shaky, and she looked terrified again. Just like she'd been when I met her. She was still pathetic and weak. The fierce act was all a façade.

Thankfully, today was lecture day so all we had to do was listen to Mr. Banner drone on about the intricate detailing and design of a plant cell. Shit I'd learned years ago from my dad. He was one motherfucker of a botanist. He always knew all the plants around us, and taught me ways to identify similar berries and stems so I wouldn't poison myself if I got lost in the wild. I could actually imagine that happening now, now that I lived in the forest capital of the world, but when I was eight I hadn't worried about it. Chicago didn't have many places to get lost in where there wouldn't be normal food.

My thoughts began drifting to my mother, and that's where I caught myself. If I allowed my mind to give me the images of her smile and her laugh, the lunches she made for me everyday and the stories she told me before I fell asleep as a child…that would be a very bad idea. It was hard enough to think about my dad, but my mom? That was far too painful. I'm definitely not a softie or one of those completely sensitive and pathetic excuses for men, but I still had a heart, and I still felt love. And I fucking loved my mom so much. She'd been there for me in some of my darkest times, times when everyone else had turned away; even my father. But not Elizabeth Masen. She, like Carlisle and Esme, was a truly compassionate being. Being the former's sister, I wouldn't have expected anything less.

I sucked in a quick but deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to repress the still-new pain that swept over me whenever I was reminded of my parents. They'd only been dead a little over four months, and that fact still hadn't truly registered in my brain. I knew Alice was right; I was in shock. And when that shock fell through I would be thrown into endless torment and despair and be one truly fucked up teenager. Normally the thought of being a fragile crybaby would disgust me beyond rationality, but in this case I felt ashamed for even wanting to hide those feelings. My parents had been my world, and I hadn't treated them properly the past two years. They'd given me everything and I'd just turned away. The least I could do to repay them for their overflowing kindness and support would be to let the guilt consume me now. They needed to feel how much their absence affected me; they needed to know that I would never forgive myself for letting them slip away. In some kind of twisted way, I was desperate to believe that those departed could still be connected to the living, because I needed my mom to tell me she loved me, and my dad to tell me he was proud of me. I was desperate to know that they still cared about me, selfish as it was. But I also needed to tell them that I was so, so sorry…

I was snapped back to reality by the sound of my name being called. I looked up, dazed, and noticed that Bella was staring at me with her eyebrows delicately furrowed in an obvious mask of concern. Oh, so _now_ she decides to play nice.

"Edward?" she asked again when I didn't respond. I flinched internally at my name rolling off her tongue; for some reason I felt she shouldn't know it. She didn't deserve to, albeit I shouldn't acknowledge her so…casually either. First names represented a sense of familiarity, at least in my mind, and the last thing I wanted was to be on friendly terms with…Swan. That was her last name, I remembered suddenly. And now it was her condescending pet name as well.

"What?" I snapped before she could open her mouth to ask again. She shied away from my destroying glower, leaning back slightly in her chair.

"I'm sorry…I was just wondering if you were okay," she mumbled quietly, quickly averting her eyes to the sleek jet lab table before us.

What the fuck?! Did she seriously just ask me that? This bitch that had been glaring at me for the entire period, and no doubt plotting with innocent little Ali to slaughter me after last Monday's nightmare encounter - that is if I didn't get to them first – had suddenly become remotely...caring? Wait...what? Did that mean she really wasn't as cruel as I'd imagined?

She noticed my incredulous expression and blushed a deep red, stumbling over her words. "I mean…you just looked really confused, and then sad, and…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

I was stunned into silence for a minute, unable to compose myself. She'd _seen_ all that? And she understood it? I blinked, dazed again, but then I quickly snapped out of it and let my automatic first instinct, anger, wash over me. Oh _fuck_ no. I did _not_ want to deal with this. I didn't need anyone else's pity; I already had enough to deal with just inside my family.

"Yeah, you shouldn't have," I hissed at her, mentally sighing with relief when the bell rang. I jumped up and stuffed my book in my backpack before throwing it over my shoulder, the small wave of wind the motion created scattering some of the papers on her side of the desk. As she began to frantically gather them, I slammed my open palm down on her wrist, startling her and earning a small gasp of pain from her pale throat. "And just for the record, _Swan_" – I sneered her name with utter distaste – "I'm fine. Now stay the fuck away from me."

She stared at me in shock again as I snatched my hand back and spun around, stalking out the door and leaving her frozen in her seat. I felt like a bit of a jerk for nailing her wrist, I was raised better than to hurt a girl - besides Alice, I'd learned, but she'd caught me off guard with the observant shit. But still...that was completely out of line. I had to force myself to walk out the door without glancing back to see how badly I'd hurt her. I would have to learn to be more careful around her. Maybe I could find a way to get Mr. Banner to move me to another desk; he was a sweet teacher, but he was stubborn as a rock. Maybe if I told him that Swan and I had bad history and wouldn't work well together…that wasn't entirely a lie. Whatever. The only thing I really cared about at the moment was getting my ass home to my piano and some cigarettes.

Only a year and a half left of this, I told myself as I headed to my beloved silver Volvo. The rain pounded down on me, effectively soaking me by the time I reached the icy door handle. Just get through high school, and you're a free man…

And despite the setbacks and the pure terror or reality itself...oh how sweet that would be.


	6. Torture Chamber

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Not me. -sad face-

A/N: Happy February everyone! Yes, FEBRUARY. Sorry so endlessly for the two month delay. But in other news, February is my favorite month so it makes me very happy :] What doesn't make me very happy is the fact that I've been miserably sick for the past three and a half weeks...well, was until the other day. Yay! And it's raining! So I'm happy. And happy is good. And here's the story; don't mind my mindless chatter haha.

-Steph

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5. TORTURE CHAMBER

BELLA-

Monday had definitely not gone as smoothly as I'd hoped, and it certainly hadn't started on the best note. I would have slept in as late as possible, but Alice decided that I needed to get up at dawn so she could plan my outfit for school. Apparently I needed to look perfect on my first day. Ha. Like that would ever happen; I was boring and plain, and so were my clothes. And on top of that, I was an unmanageable storm cloud of petulance and bitterness in the morning. I _hated_ mornings, especially when I was woken too soon, and especially when it was a Monday. So the little pixie practically had to wrestle me into my one pair of skinny jeans and a form-fitting dark red sweater; things I never wore. I had to fight her for a solid twenty minutes before she let me wear my black converse high tops. There was no way I was leaving the house in heels; flat shoes were dangerous enough. And when she began insisting on makeup…that was the end of that discussion.

The only good things that came from her interruption to my sleeping patterns were a good breakfast and a torture-free car ride. Because I had much more time that I was used to, Alice and I made waffles and were finished by the time my cousins began emerging from their rooms. We left some for them, and I was excited just by the concept of enjoying my first proper weekday breakfast in ages. And naturally, because Alice had driven her own car to the Hale house, she offered to drive me to school. I thought briefly of Jasper and his motorcycle and held back a smile. She noticed the twitch of my lips though – as ridiculously observant as she was – and demanded to know what was funny.

"Nothing," I replied evenly as I dropped my plate in the sink. "Just something your boyfriend said to me the other day."

I watched with amusement as she turned a delicate shade of pink and Jasper's head automatically snapped up from the table to look between us. Alice grabbed my hand and hauled me out the door, and didn't say another word until we reached the school.

When we got to the actual campus, which was an impressive five minutes away with Alice speeding in her canary yellow Porsche, things became a whole lot worse. She took me to the office to get my schedule and pointed out all my classes on the small map. She started jumping up and down with excitement when she noticed that we had two classes together, though it didn't really seem that hard to imagine with such a miniscule student population. I was still happy, though, and greatly relieved by the simple thought of her presence – it was nice to know someone, I realized.

We didn't have our first class together, so she walked me to the door and promised she'd save me a seat next period. I said goodbye and went inside, and that's where my day first took a turn for the worst. After talking to the teacher, I headed to my new desk near the back and saw none other than Rosalie sitting at the desk adjacent to mine. Just my luck. She glared at me as I sat down, and I quickly diverted my attention to unpacking my pencil and notebook from my bag. I never looked back, but I could feel her anger like a wildfire.

Thankfully, Alice kept her word and had an empty table waiting for us second period. First had passed ridiculously slowly, and not just because it was Math, though that fact contributed quite a bit. But Rosalie had, as usual, quickly lost interest and simply ignored my existence, which was more than fine with me. I was just starting to wonder how I would survive that class for an entire year.

My second was History, and although it was a subject that I absolutely detested, having Alice with me made it tolerable. But I had a new problem…Edward was in this class. I'd panicked when I first noticed him, but after a few minutes I realized I didn't have much to worry about. He was across the room from us and he completely ignored us like my icy cousin had. I still firmly believed that they were related; I'd told Alice about my suspicions and she'd laughed, but agreed.

When lunch finally came, I was more than ready to go back to the Hale's and never leave my room again. Alice had had to leave me alone with Edward in yet another class, and this time he spent a good portion of the hour glaring at me unnecessarily. I glared back when needed, but mostly I blocked him out and tried to listen to the teacher. Alice had told me that they were still fighting, and I didn't want to have anything to do with him as long as he stayed violent and abrasive.

Fourth period was my saving grace, though. The light in my storm, not to be cliché. After my miserable hour in English, I was able to relax in Spanish. By some miracle, Jasper was in that class and my teacher had to be the sweetest person alive. She gave me a sympathetic look when I first stumbled through the door, and let me sit wherever I wanted. I snagged the empty desk by Jasper, and he gave me a wide grin.

He kept me easily entertained the entire class and managed to alleviate most of my tension, reminding me that it was my first day and it would only get better from here. I wasn't sure if he was right, but for some reason it was impossible not to trust Jasper. So I smiled and nodded, but still held my breath as I waited for the bell to ring.

During lunch, Alice dragged me away to a table near the back of the cafeteria. She knew I wasn't a big fan of attention, and it wasn't hard to tell that she was, but she'd insisted on staying near the dark shadows for my sake. I smiled at her gratefully and she returned it, but I didn't miss the longing in her eyes as she glanced back at her obvious usual table in the center of the room. One quick look was enough to assure me that I wouldn't dare sit there if my life depended on it. Jasper was there, but so were Rosalie and Edward. I cringed away from the former's glare and kept my focus on Alice for the rest of lunch.

As we munched on our sandwiches and drank our sodas – hers Dr. Pepper, mine A&W Root Beer – she prattled on about her day and how excited she was for Gym. I had no idea how anyone could feel anything but pure abhorrence toward our dreaded last class, but once she mentioned that Jasper was in it everything made perfect sense. I was instantly happy at the thought of having another class with him, but for an entirely different reason.

"Don't get too energized yet, Alice," I told her. "We still have fifth period before Gym."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. My fifth is easy, and besides I have it with my brother. If I don't pay attention he can always cover for me and get the homework."

I was surprised for a minute; I'd completely forgotten about Alice's brother. "Oh, what class it that?"

"Spanish 5/6. Emmett's a senior, but he started Spanish a year after me." She nodded to her table again, and I spared another quick glance. I hadn't noticed the other boy sitting there before, but I couldn't imagine how I'd missed him. My automatic first thought was to be thankful that I was far away from him. He was massive; even sitting down I could tell he was taller than Jasper and Edward, who were both of very impressive heights. And his arms looked like they could easily snap someone's neck. I felt bad for anyone that messed with him or anyone he cared about; Rosalie and Alice, I guessed.

Note to self: Never be even slightly mean to Alice. Ever. I would rather like to live. Rosalie was another story…

"What class do you have next?" she asked me suddenly, pulling me from my thoughts. "I've already forgotten."

"It's okay…ummm." I dug around in my bag for a minute, trying to locate my schedule. It was already pretty battered from my nervous habit of folding any paper that my hands came into contact with. I straightened it out and squinted to read the small print. "Advanced Biology, with Mr. Banner."

"Oh ouch, I'm so sorry."

I looked up and she was staring at my sympathetically, a huge frown on her face. That couldn't mean anything good. "What?"

"Well, one, I hate biology," she answered, cringing as she said the word. I had no idea why; I'd always loved bio – it was one of my favorite classes back home. "And two…my cousin's in that class, too."

Well, I guess it wasn't going to be one of my favorites this year. As if my day couldn't get any worse…guess I'll just add this to my already astounding list of reasons not to come back to school. And I'd been so excited last week…

I groaned and let my head fall down on the table. "Seriously? Another class with Edward?" The universe just loved to pick on me, apparently. I was a pretty easy target, though, I had to admit. Misfortune struck me like a constant knife, but for some reason I hadn't died yet.

"I'm sure you could transfer," she suggested, but I shook my head.

"No, I'd rather just deal with it than go through the hassle of switching classes. Besides, it might screw up my schedule and I like having a few classes with you and Jasper."

She nodded at my reasoning. "Okay. But if that prick gives you any trouble, promise you'll tell me. I swear on my life I will kick his ass."

I had to laugh a little at the visual of tiny Alice tackling anyone, let alone a guy at least a foot and a half taller than her. But I knew she was serious; I hadn't forgotten last Monday. That pixie could pack a punch.

"Okay, I promise. But who says he won't just leave me alone?"

She arched one jet black eyebrow at me. "We are talking about the same person, aren't we?"

"If you mean that obscenely insensitive bronze-haired boy that had a bit too much fun threatening me while I stood in my pajamas looking like a train wreck last week, then yes."

"Yup, then that's him." She sighed and frowned again. "I'm still so sorry about that, Bella. Honestly, I don't know what's up with him. He's never acted like this before…well, at least not _this_ bad. He actually can be really sweet."

I gave a humorless laugh. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"Fair enough. I just wish we could patch things up; I'm tired of being angry at him all the time. It's exhausting."

I didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry…I'm sure you'll figure something out."

She shrugged. "I'll give him some more time. It's really not his fault that his emotions are so thwarted right now."

"What do you mean?"

"Like you I suspect, he wouldn't be here if he didn't have to be."

I raised my eyebrows in confusion, causing her to sigh again.

"Look, believe it or not I'm actually not that big of a gossip. Usually it just sickens me the way girls talk about other people behind their backs." She frowned. "But my point is, Edward's life hasn't exactly been a fairytale this past year or so. He's only told me bits, and my parents won't tell me much because it's none of my business…but he's really fucked up. So I'm trying not to be as furious with him as I should be, but he's not exactly making it easy."

I nodded. "Okay. But my life hasn't exactly been a picnic, either. Why should he get the benefit of the doubt?"

"Just trust me, okay? I promise you'll find out soon enough...if he chooses to tell any of us at all, that is. "

"I'll trust you, but don't expect any favors."

"Deal." She stuck out her hand, and I shook it firmly, feeling a bit like a grade schooler. "Do you want to start walking over? Lunch is going to end in a minute."

"Sure."

We got up and dumped our trays in the trash, and then I followed her as she started walking toward the science building. The bell rang as we reached my door, and we exchanged a brief hug before she darted off to the language building on the other side of the small campus. I just hoped that Biology wouldn't be ruined for me forever.

And of course, it was much much worse than I'd anticipated. The teacher, Mr. Banner, was kind enough, and I had a feeling we would have no problems getting along. Once more students began pouring through the doors, he explained where I would be sitting. There was only one empty seat in the whole class, and when he told me it was in the middle row in the back I thought my luck had just changed. That is, until I realized that my lab partner would be Edward. That wiped the smile right off my face.

The hour passed slowly; the tension was so thick and it made it impossible to concentrate. But the lecture was on a topic I'd already learned back in Phoenix, so that was a relief and a nuisance at the same time. I could feel Edward's eyes on me constantly, and every time I looked over he was staring me down, his eyebrows slanted in a livid slope and his emerald eyes as sharp and cold as the stone they resembled. I tried to return his glares as best as I could, but when he turned back to the board my mask always shattered and I was left shaken to my core. As much as I hated to admit it to myself, I was _terrified_ of this guy. Despite all that Alice had said, one look from him was enough to throw every bit of assurance she'd given straight out the window.

He, like Emmett, could very well kill me with his bare hands, and I wouldn't dare challenge that fact.

Near the end of class, though, I couldn't help but notice that the glowers lessened and the apprehension almost seemed to evaporate into a more…melancholy atmosphere. I'd always been extremely in touch with my more sensitive and emotional side…in fact, I think my entire body was constructed under those slight conditions, but over the past month the feelings had intensified. I could detect nearly _any_ emotional change, no matter how small. And I could tell that something had definitely and instantly changed.

I chanced a quick glance at the teenager next to me, and the expression on his face stunned me. It was lost, and confused…regretful. And, more than anything, repentant almost to the point of tangibility. It was an expression that Alice had been calling me out on all week; the glazed over look in my eyes and the slight unintentional frown on my lips. She said it worried her when I sank into that disconnected haze, but I knew it was just whenever I was thinking too hard about something…something that hurt. Usually an untangled mystery, or just one of those stupid unanswerable questions – the meaning of life and the reason why I was alive and my parents weren't.

I didn't know what came over me, but a powerful wave of indecision swept through my mind and threatened to drag me under, and before I could stop myself I was calling his name.

"Edward?"

I saw awareness light his eyes as he was pulled back to the world of reality. He looked up at me, thoroughly bewildered, and blinked.

"Edward?" I asked again.

I wasn't expecting the fierce death glare that came next, but I really don't know what had made me think that he might be nice. Clearly I was still being a dreamer.

"What?" His tone made me jump slightly; it sounded like liquid ice. Razor sharp and bone-chilling. I instinctively shied away from the danger, leaning back into my chair.

Nice going, Bella, I told myself. What were you thinking?

"I'm sorry…I was just wondering if you were okay," I mumbled in a muted voice, quickly averting my eyes to the black tabletop before us. I knew it was a stupid thing to say, but there was no backing out now. I'd already fallen into the trap, so now I would have to suffer.

His expression changed to one of sheer disbelief, causing me to reflexively blush a deep red. "I mean…you just looked really confused, and then sad, and…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything." I bowed my head, ashamed, but for what I wasn't sure.

Silence stretched on after that. I dared to look up once, and he was clearly still stunned. His eyes were wide as they openly stared at me, and it felt like he was trying very hard to find the right words to say. I became subconsciously hopeful again, but quickly had my slightest suspicions squashed as the anger settled once more in his eyes and the set of his jaw. His mouth straightened into an unpleasant line, and the arctic intensity struck out again.

This couldn't be good.

"Yeah, you shouldn't have," he hissed, causing me to flinch. The bell rang then, literally saving me with its irksome shrill. Edward jumped up and immediately stuffed his things into his backpack, scattering my attempted notes across the desk and to the floor. I reached over to grab them, but a painfully sharp weight stopped me. My eyes darted up and widened when I realized that he had pinned my right wrist to the table with his palm. His fingers closed around it tightly, making the tips of my own fingers throb as my circulation was cut off. I released a small gasp as I met his eyes, and forgot how to breathe as he leaned closer. I had never been more afraid in my life.

"And just for the record, _Swan_" – the way he spat my name making my blood curl – "I'm fine. Now stay the fuck away from me."

I remained frozen in a state of shock as he snatched his hand away and briskly left the room, disappearing from sight. But the feel of his rough fingers on my skin remained, and my wrist throbbed convulsively for minutes after. It finally sank in that I was the last person in the class and I would be late to Gym if I didn't hurry. I pushed my chair back to stand up, but I moved too fast and it fell backward, sending me to the floor. I bit my tongue as I hit the marble tiles, hard, to keep from crying out. The teacher didn't come to assist me and I realized that he'd left and I truly was alone.

Soon my instincts kicked in and I mechanically rose to my feet, gathering my papers and my bag. I tried not to think about my encounter with Edward as I hurried out the door, moving stiffly as I ventured out into the rain. It had stopped for a while, something I'd failed to notice as Alice and I had walked from lunch, but now that it had returned it was blatantly obvious. I was soaked within a matter of seconds, and I ventured to my last class in isolation, wondering why the feisty pixie wasn't waiting outside my door. But, I guess I couldn't expect her to be there for everything.

When I finally made it to the locker room, I was glaringly late. Nearly all the girls were already gone, but a few stragglers remained, fixing their makeup in the long wall mirror or chatting as they finished tying their running shoes. Alice wasn't among them.

Since I didn't have a uniform yet, I walked to the end of the room and followed the narrow hallway presumably leading into the Gym. Everyone stared at me as I came into view; on top of being the new girl, I stood out in the sea of identical gray and blue. I instantly felt self-conscious, and felt my heart begin to beat erratically as I looked for the two people I knew. The teacher found me before I could complete my task, and I explained who I was in an expressionless tone. I had to keep myself under control; I couldn't afford to lose it now.

He, like my other teachers, welcomed me to Forks High and promised to get me a uniform in the next two days. He explained that it was run day today, and told me I could sit in the Gym if I wanted. Once I learned that the other option was standing outside and watching the class run their laps in the downpour, I quickly agreed to relax on the indoor bleachers and read. I hadn't been given any homework for my first day, a small plus in the overwhelming magnitude of my day's negatives.

When everyone started stretching and warming up, I finally spotted a familiar mop of messy blonde hair towering over the other students. And as I approached, I noticed the spiky black-haired pixie standing next to him. Of course.

"Bella!" Alice squealed when she saw me coming closer. Before I could so much as wave, she'd darted over and tackled me in a hug. I blinked, startled, but returned it briefly.

"Hey Alice," I gasped.

I heard a chuckle behind us and glanced up to see Jasper shaking his head, a small smile playing on his lips. His eyes met mine, and it happened again. Like before, I didn't know what hit me, but this time I was shaken by a powerful sense of desolation and the need to be comforted by someone I trusted. A male I trusted, to make up for the stark contrast of my previous mistake. And just to make me feel better after the absolute worst day I'd ever imagined. I felt my control slip, and the next instant I'd run to Jasper and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist as I started to cry.

Everything moved in slow motion after that. I could feel my own breath rising and falling at an unhealthy rate as I cried in sharp, broken gasps. I heard an intense ringing in my ears, as well as my cousin's startled pant as I barreled into him. A light hand that I recognized as Alice's gently touched my shoulder as two strong, masculine arms returned my desperate clinging and held me close. I buried my face into Jasper's gray shirt and let it all out, not caring who watched. I needed release; I'd been repressing my feelings all day. And if I was being honest with myself, I knew I had been keeping too much to myself the past month. I showed emotion and acted as normal as my body would allow, but my mind remained a storm of unconquered waves and fears, and I hadn't allowed anyone to jump in and save me. It was a death wish, and the irony of that fact was biting.

I didn't know how much time passed, but it must have not been long, because soon everyone starting moving outside. The large room echoed with a universal groan as the doors were thrown open and the pounding rain was exposed, and even in my delirious state I was subconsciously happy that I would get to stay inside for the period. That is, if I could get my feet to move to the bleachers so I could really enjoy it. But I wasn't looking forward to the prospect of spending it alone; not when my condition had been reduced to this.

In an unexpected act of kindness, though, the Gym teacher seemed to have noticed my embarrassing breakdown, because he never took Alice and Jasper away. The rest of the room emptied, but the three of us remained standing in the center of the glossy wood floor, unmoving. When I finally managed to pull myself together enough to stop crying, Alice pulled me from Jasper's arms and locked me in a tight embrace, tears streaking her own cheeks. I was beginning to learn that underneath her ferocity, she was a very sensitive girl that channeled the emotions of other people quite frequently. When someone she cared about was happy, she was happy. When they were sad, she was sad, and so forth. It was something I'd noticed in Jasper as well, only subtler. They really were perfect together, I realized yet again.

"Bella, what's wrong?" she asked me a minute later.

"Everything."

She took my hand in hers and led me over to the rows of bleachers, Jasper right behind us. We climbed the steps to the top and sat down, and I immediately slumped back and rested my head against the wall. Jasper settled on my right, with Alice on my left, and threw his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close. I sank into his side gratefully, and he leaned down to kiss my forehead. Alice gave my hand a slight squeeze and looked up at me with sad eyes. They were filled with questions, and I knew I had much to explain. I just didn't know where to start.

"What happened, Bella Bear?" my cousin whispered quietly, drawing my attention back to him. I felt a pang of nostalgia at the nickname; he used to call me by it every winter when my parents and I would come to visit. We always came to Forks a few weeks before Christmas, instead of the Hale's coming to Phoenix, because my mom insisted on receiving actual winter weather for one blissful week of the year. I didn't mind the snow, it was fun to play in, but the ice always made me slip and fall. And Rosalie was a bit too entertained by that fact, and even helped it along at times. By the end of that week, I was always begging to go back home, where I could enjoy Christmas safely.

Snow would begin falling within a matter of weeks, and the painful cycle would begin again. Except this time there was no where for me to flee to. I clung tighter to Jasper; he was all that I had left.

"Fuck!" Alice suddenly exclaimed, jumping up to her feet. "Edward did this to you, didn't he?"

When I didn't answer, her face literally grew bright red with the heat of her anger. I reached out to try to make her sit back down and take a deep breath, but I was in no state to do that and she brushed me off.

"That son of a bitch," she huffed, curling her hands into fists. "I love him, I love him so damn much that it hurts at times, but he is _crossing the line!_"

"Alice, relax," I managed to mumble. "It's not just him, so if you want to listen before you go annihilate him…"

"What did he do to you?" she demanded, ignoring my words.

I sighed again. "He was rude and violent and yelled at me again, but it was my fault."

"Violent?"

Uh oh. There I went with my big mouth again…way to go, Bella.

I tried to minutely slip my wrist back and out of view, but I should have known that Alice would catch me before I could move an inch. In a flash, she grabbed my wrist, albeit much more gently than Edward had, and pushed the sleeve of my jacket up. I hadn't been wearing the jacket in class, so he'd had direct contact with my skin. And it showed. Dark purple bruises were beginning to color the pale flesh, long and thin – distinct finger marks. Alice gasped once and instantly released my hand.

"Oh fuck Bella, I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay," I told her, but before I could finish she'd pulled me in for another hug. Jasper leaned around me, keeping me locked to his side. I was thankful; if he let go I was afraid I would fall apart again.

"Why did he do this?" she asked as she pulled back, her eyebrows creased with concern.

"Well…I told you that it wasn't just him that ruined my day, so how about I explain when we get to that part?"

I spent the next half hour recounting the numerous trials and tribulations of my first day; it had certainly made a lasting impression. I only left little things out, and Alice and Jasper both listened attentively, the former practically hanging from every word I spoke. There were only a few times when I had to stop, but Jasper rubbed my back soothingly until I was able to continue. I'd just finished detailing my tense biology class when the Gym doors flew open and a massive stream of my drenched and miserable-looking fellow students poured in. I hastily concluded my tale, and rose to my feet the second I finished. It felt good to have that weight off my chest, but I really didn't feel like receiving the sympathy that I knew Alice and Jasper were about to smother me in.

Jasper gave me a knowing look, and he simply nodded as I grabbed Alice's hand and dragged her off to the locker room.

She led me to her row and I sat down on the cold bench as she changed into her normal clothes, attempting to talk to me the entire time.

"Alice, I'm sorry," I apologized after repeatedly cutting her off. "I just really don't want to talk anymore right now."

She finished slipping on her black ballet flats and nodded. "Okay. But thank you for telling Jazz and me what was bothering you."

"Anytime."

I waited while she flitted to the mirror and touched up her mascara, mentally frowning at how pallid the light made the two of us look. She readjusted her headband and then nodded again, obviously satisfied with the results of her quick primping. For what I didn't know – it was still pouring outside.

We made our way back into the Gym in silence, lining up for a final role call. As soon as the final bell rang, the only thought on my mind was getting out of here as fast as I could. Jasper said a swift goodbye to us, giving us both a brief hug before he darted outside into the blurry abyss. Alice and I followed reluctantly, but we'd only taken a few steps when she remembered she'd brought an umbrella. We walked to her car slowly once it was shielding our forms, avoiding puddles and slippery patches of gravel in the worn parking lot. I felt bad for Jasper, knowing I would be livid if I had to ride a motorcycle in the rain, but then I remembered him saying that he rode in Rosalie's car most days. To me, that was almost worse. But Rosalie loved her brother; it was pretty hard not to.

Once we were strapped in, Alice turned on the ignition but immediately killed the music coming from her radio. I found that strangely ominous; in the past week that Alice had practically lived in my room, she'd always had either my or her iPod blaring. And this morning, the first thing she'd done as soon as we got into her car was make sure that her favorite CD was playing. I glanced over at her now, and she was staring blankly out the windshield as the raindrops struck the glass.

"Alice?"

She gave no indication that she'd heard me, but I saw her eyes reflexively snap closed for a second. I waited for her to say something, and another minute passed before she finally opened her mouth.

"I want you to sleep over at my house tonight."

"What?"

She turned her head to look me straight in the eyes. "You've had a bad day, we're in the middle of a fall rainstorm, you haven't been to my house yet, and I want you to spend the night."

I struggled to understand her reasoning, at least parts of it, but decided it was solid enough. I had been looking forward to my warm bed, though…but I figured I could survive for one night. "Ummm…okay. Sure. I'll just have to ask my aunt. "

She smiled slightly. "I think you'll love my room. And my mom's been dying to meet you. My brother, too, actually."

Her brother, as in Rosalie's boyfriend and that really scary looking guy? Well, this could certainly turn into an interesting experience. And…holy crow. Curse my mouth for acting before my brain, yet again. It seemed I was incapable of listening before answering, and it was sure to be my downfall.

Huh…well, I guess I'll be spending the night with a doctor, his wife, a pixie, a jock, and my messed up biology partner. Oh, how funny life can be. That little thing called karma always comes and bites you in the butt, even when you can't remember doing anything wrong. If I knew one thing, it was that tonight would be a very long night…


	7. Silver Lining

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Not me. -sad face-

A/N: OMG IT'S DONE. ALL HAIL THE LONG-ASS CHAPTER THAT TOOK ME FOREVER TO WRITE. For some reason, I get the absolute worst cases of writer's block and it really really sucks. But I was almost done writing this chapter when a huge chunk of it got deleted, and of course that soured my mood for a long while. I knew I had it written down in pencil on a piece of paper SOMEWHERE in my room...and well, let's just say that it took me a lot longer to find it that I thought it would. My room is not somewhere you want to lose something. It's dark, stuffed with enough clothes to make Alice proud, and has about four million pieces of loose paper floating around in it. So yeah. Oh, and of course I get way too distracted by Facebook, deviantart, KIM POSSIBLE (aka my new life), Phantom of the Opera (aka the other part of my new life), Avatar (aka the other other part...I've been obsessed with that for years, though!), Pirates of the Caribbean (aka something I was obsessed with for years, and that has now has come back into my life on a rather large scale), and reading fanfiction for my own good :3 So please forgive my humble soul; I apologize deeply (and no I'm not trying to sound sarcastic...I'm an actress, so I tend to be a bit overdramatic at times). Here's the next chapter! The longest one! Yay! OH! And I'm sixteen now cause my birthday was in March. AND it's summer and now I'm a junior! Whoot!

-Steph

* * *

6. SILVER LINING

BELLA—

Lily agreed to the sleepover, naturally. As I'd noticed before, she didn't seem to have any qualms about anything I suggested. And besides that, she knew fully well that her daughter and I didn't get along very well - only she had no idea of the true extent of it – and she seemed genuinely pleased that I was making friends. It wasn't hard to tell that she adored Alice; once I'd gotten used to her, I really couldn't see how _anyone_ could resist her. And especially being Rosalie's longtime best friend, my aunt had learned to welcome her like a second daughter in her home.

Rosalie and Jasper had beat us back by about ten minutes, mostly due to Alice's little space-out in the car. I asked the pixie if she wanted to invite her model friend to spend the night as well, not wanting to be rude. I held my breath while I waited for her answer, and let out a sigh of relief when she slowly shook her head. I was about to disregard it and start gathering my stuff, but the look of sadness on her face caught my attention.

"Alice, what is it?" I asked her softly, now fully recovered from my earlier trauma.

"It's nothing," she mumbled, shaking her head again and sinking onto my bed. "Rose and I are just…giving each other a bit of space right now."

I instantly thought back to the first night I'd met Alice, and the fight that had broken out between her and my cousin. I knew I was the reason they had split; it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

"Oh…I'm so sorry," I told her, feeling the guilt consume me. "It's my fault for coming between you two."

Her head instantly snapped up, eyes wide and startled. "Oh Bella, no. This isn't your fault at all. Please don't think that it is."

"You don't need to lie," I said knowingly, giving her a small smile.

She returned it sadly, nodding in defeat. "Okay. But I'm glad I met you. You're so sweet and friendly and open, and I just knew from the start that we were going to be great friends. Rose just doesn't want to accept that I won't hate you…I really don't know what her problem is."

I shrugged. "She's hated me ever since we were little. I honestly don't know why, either. She's never given me a reason."

She stared at me curiously. "Really?'

"Yeah. And it's not like we can just sit down and discuss our problems…she'd tear me to shreds before I could even open my mouth."

Alice's expression mixed somewhere between amusement and pain. It was an interesting combination, but amusement seemed to win over because a second later she burst out laughing. I delicately arched one eyebrow at her, and she just laughed harder.

"Okay, this is ridiculous," she finally managed to gasp once she'd caught her breath. "I'm in serious need of comic relief, so thank you for providing some."

I blinked. She thought that was funny? "Umm…you're welcome?"

"Today is just turning into such a morbid day," she grumbled. "I can't take it!"

"Then that's why we're having a sleepover?" My assuring statement came out more as a question.

"One of many reasons," she agreed, nodding enthusiastically. I waited for her to elaborate, but she never did. So, I just went along with it and gave her a smile.

"Is there anything in particular that you'd like me to bring?"

She shrugged. "My bed is pretty big, so you don't have to bring a sleeping bag if you don't mind sharing…" She trailed off at the end, throwing me a questioning glance.

"No, I don't mind," I answered. "But I would like to bring my fluffy pillow."

She laughed. "Of course. Pillows are a given; I can't sleep without mine."

I gave her another wide grin. "You know, I'm usually not one for sleepovers, but this could actually be really fun." As long as the two of us separated ourselves from the rest of the household…with the exception of her parents. Maybe.

"Sleepovers in Forks are the best," she promised.

"Oh really?"

Alice nodded. "Mmmhmm. It's so much fun staying up late when it rains. And it _always_ rains here." She rolled her eyes, but I didn't think she minded the constant downpour at all. "Rose and I would always make hot chocolate and talk until we fell asleep, and the thunder and lightning just adds excitement to everything."

"We'll have to make some hot chocolate then."

"Of course. And I know some games we can play. Oh, and a movie is another given!"

I shook my head slightly, a tiny smile still on my lips. "Whatever. I haven't had a sleepover in years, so I put my trust in your hands. Just don't kill me, okay? We still have school tomorrow."

She stuck her tongue out at me, and I replied by chucking one of my pillows at her. Not the special fluffy one, of course. She burst out laughing, and I immediately joined in.

After such a long day, it felt good to be able to act ridiculous with a friend. A friend. _My_ friend. It didn't matter that she was Rosalie's too, she was also mine. And it felt wonderful…I guess I really had forgotten what it was like to have people care about me.

As I dodged a blow from the pillow I'd just chucked at Alice, now a weapon in her hands, I realized that I felt happy in that moment. Happier than I had in two months, and maybe longer. I'd lost my parents, but I'd been given a fresh start. Grief and agony would tear at my heart for many days to come, but a tiny sliver of silver was wedged between. I knew there was a silver lining on my dark storm cloud, and I was going to find it if it killed me.

EDWARD—

When I heard the front door open and two distinctly feminine voices quickly flood the hallways - one my cousin's, and the other undoubtedly _not_ Rosalie's – I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. I _hoped_ it was. Because even when superlatively pissed off, Alice would never dare do this to me. She wasn't that cruel, I reasoned, and she loved me too much. But the voices remained.

Oh, she had better be fucking kidding me, I thought bitterly. Or that little pixie is dead.

My suspicions growing, I forced myself to get off my bed and stick my head out the door. The hallway carved a clear path to the front foyer, my bedroom being the only one on the ground floor, and I could see straight to the source of the noise. Two girls shedding heavy jackets and fluffing out their hair, one jet black and chopped short, the other mahogany brown and waist-length. I noticed something else piled next to them; their bags as well as another suitcase…and a pillow.

Oh shit. Ali was having a sleepover, and it just _had _to be with that Swan bitch. I didn't know how many times I'd used it lately, but fuck my life was quickly becoming my favorite phrase. And the best way to describe my daily existence.

Fuck. My. Life.

I ducked my head back inside the security of my room and locked the door. I would come out for dinner, I decided, but other than that it would be safest for me to just stay in here. The last thing I really wanted to do was get into another fight. I was far too tired for that, and the various injuries I'd received from my tiny little cousin were finally starting to disappear. So why provoke her again to bring on a fresh round of blood? That girl had iron packed into her fists; I just knew it.

I listened as the girls continued to talk in animated tones, their voices too distant to understand their words, and the noise gradually disappeared altogether. The tell tale creaking of stairs informed me that they were presumably heading to Alice's room on the second floor.

Finally, some peace, I thought as I threw myself back onto my bed. I had a feeling that despite my efforts, I wouldn't be receiving much of it throughout the duration of the night. Things could get very interesting, very fast, if I didn't watch my back. One dangerous mind in the house was annoying enough; two could be deadly. Because I wasn't blind enough to miss that Swan had a set of brains. And I had a hunch that she wouldn't fail to use them against me, but in all fairness, I couldn't really blame her. She was shy but cold; but I was far colder. And I could have broken her wrist today, and no doubt Alice was helping her plot revenge for that. Aww fuck. Home was supposed to be the one place where I could just relax, but instead I was setting myself up for World War III.

I let out a frustrated sigh as I ran a hand through my permanently disheveled hair. Well…if I was going to die tonight, I might as well die doing what I loved; listening to my music. I grabbed my iPod off my nightstand and jammed the earbuds in, clicking the black music maker on. Whoever invented these things was officially my favorite person in the world; even if they were that motherfucker that created those goddamned alarm clocks, I'd forgive them for giving me my pocket-sized music machine. I found one of my favorite songs and clicked it, closing my eyes as the familiar lyrics flooded my ears.

I needed a game plan; if Ali and Company were planning an attack, I needed to be prepared. But what the hell; I knew I was just being paranoid, as I always had been. Nothing was going to happen. I sighed again, flicking my tongue against the back of my teeth as I thought. Tonight was going to be a very long night…

BELLA—

If I was nervous about starting my first day of school, I was terrified of going to Alice's house. Aside from leaving the security and familiarity of my new room for the first time since arriving, it wasn't the most comforting thought knowing I would be spending that rare time in the company of several strangers.

"Alice," I moaned as she speeded across town in an exceedingly illegal manner, not that I minded. Much. She'd proven to me in the past week that her driving skills were proficient; she hadn't died getting to the Hale's house every day. At least not yet.

"Yeah?" she yelled back over the blaring music. Once we'd loaded my stuff into the back of her car and buckled in, she'd flipped the stereo back on immediately. It was currently playing a CD of Kings of Leon; Alice's favorite band, besides Coldplay. I wasn't a huge fan, but some of their songs were tasteful and catchy. My heart belonged to All Time Low, though, as immature as it sounded. Sure I had plenty of other bands that I adored, such as Breaking Benjamin and OneRepublic, but these guys were the best. They knew how to make me sing and dance like no one else; in fact, no one else _could_ get me to sing and dance. And the lead singer and bass player? Easily two of the hottest guys alive. They had to be magic – I wouldn't have doubted it for a second.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked, biting my lower lip softly. "I'm kind of scared."

She sighed, casting me a brief pitying look. "Bella, you'll be fine. Just relax."

I nodded, only barely convinced. "Okay."

"My brother will love you. Honestly, he loves _everyone_." She rolled her eyes. "And my mom's the same way. You've met my dad, right?"

"Yeah, he was my doctor when my aunt took me to the hospital."

"Good." She seemed satisfied, but then her face suddenly darkened. "And if you're worried about Edward…don't bother. Chances are we'll never really see him; all he does is hide in his room until my mom drags him out for dinner."

"Oh." I was a bit surprised, but the confirmation did make me feel much better.

"Okay, we're here," Alice stated, quickly distracting me.

I looked out the windshield and saw that she was turning onto a long stretch of road almost completely shrouded by trees. I saw a mailbox posted at the end, with the world CULLEN in big black letters across the front.

"Oh wow…you live on a private road?" I didn't mean to ask; my mouth just decided to rebel against my brain.

She didn't seem offended, though. "Yup. The entire thing is all ours; we're the only estate at the end of it."

I couldn't help repeating myself. "Oh wow."

She turned to me and flashed me a grin. "Hey, I wouldn't be complaining if I were you. Rose and Jazz have a pretty sweet house, if I don't say so myself."

I gave a short laugh. "Yeah. More like a mansion."

"No. _They_ have a house. _I_ have a mansion." She explained this slowly, rolling her eyes again as she spoke. "And it's the most annoying thing in the world."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't like huge houses." She shrugged. "I _am_ more of a city girl than a small town girl, so I'm excited to go to college after high school, but at the same time I like certain aspects of towns. Like _little_ houses, and stone fireplaces, and hot chocolate on one of our constant rainy nights. I mean, my house is amazing, but it's just so…empty. Even with all of us, there's always so much space left."

I nodded appreciatively. "I guess that makes sense…you're planning on moving out straight after senior year, then?"

She shrugged again. "I'm fairly certain I will, but I've decided not to worry about it until I actually have to. What about you?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "I really don't know what I'm going to do anymore."

"We all know that feeling, Bella. Don't worry; you'll find your footsteps again and carry on where you left off. It might just take a little while, but you'll be fine," she assured me. And something about her tone made it hard not to believe her.

I was about to say something, but then I caught sight of the large white estate we were approaching, and all coherency flew out the window. When Alice had said that it was a _huge_, _amazing_, _mansion_…she wasn't kidding.

It was three stories, though the top floor looked like it was mostly for an office or attic, but the other floors stretched on and on for yards. The whole thing was styled like a Colonial era manor, with columns and intricate carving, and for a moment I wondered if it was actually two hundred and something years old. It wasn't impossible; Jasper and Rosalie's house was at least eighty and it still looked brand new. This mansion was a bit more rugged around a few of the edges, but still easily the flashiest thing I'd ever seen.

"Well…," Alice sighed, breaking me out of my daydream. "This is home."

I shook my head slightly and gave a short, stunned laugh. "It's beautiful."

She laughed at my expression, killing the Porsche's engine. The car went quiet, the music shutting off with the engine, and the only sound left was the rain pounding down on the glass windshield and windows. The hard metallic thud of the drops landing on the roof seemed ominous, and they reminded me of an old horror story I'd heard once growing up.

"Thanks," Alice said, drawing my attention back to her. "Now let's hurry up and get inside so we don't have to stand in the rain."

"You have an umbrella, Miss Impatient," I reminded her, but I unbuckled my seatbelt and put my hand on the handle, anyway.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." She stuck her tongue out at me, and I reached over and gave her a light knock on the head. She grinned and we both climbed out of the car, grabbing our bags and my overnight stuff and racing to the imposing front doors. Yes, _doors_.

As expected, the inside was even more stunning than the exterior. The front foyer was open and spacious, and it even had an intricate chandelier hanging down from the ceiling. I tried not to get too distracted though, and instead focused on the light conversation that Alice was attempting to start. We peeled off our near-soaked jackets and fluffed out our hair – mine taking on its characteristic poofiness – while she tried to illustrate the layout of the mansion.

"Let's haul this stuff to my room, and then I'll give you a tour," she finally decided. "I'm terrible at explaining things."

I agreed with a nod, and followed her up a massive flight of wooden stairs that creaked slightly under our feet – most likely from their age. Yup, definitely a legitimate Colonial estate.

"I think you'll love my room," Alice continued, clapping her hands together excitedly. I rolled my eyes at her enthusiasm, but admitted that I was genuinely interested. She seemed like the type of person that would have an over-the-top girly room, but a beautifully designed one at that. And of course, I wasn't disappointed.

The first thing that I saw was purple. Purple on the walls, the bed, the floor…purple _everywhere_. But not in an odd or overbearing way, and everything was light. They were all varying shades of minute and pale purple; lilac and orchid and lavender. I thought back to my room at the Hale's and suddenly realized how plain it was. At least, in my eyes. Alice had adored it – from the wrought iron bed frame to the tall oak bookcase to the delicate chandelier hanging from the middle of the pale blue ceiling. And, of course, my massive All Time Low poster on the matching ice blue wall behind my desk and laptop.

Alice flitted over to her bed and threw her school bag on the pastel lavender bedspread. It was adorned with pretty hand-stitched flowers, the thread the same color as the small fringed pillows that rested against larger and fluffier white ones.

"So…" she trailed off, watching my eyes scan the length of the room. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah, it's amazing," I told her. "Did you decorate it yourself?"

She beamed. "Yup. I picked out everything."

"Wow. Maybe you can help me with mine," I grinned.

"No way." She shook her head vehemently. "I'm completely in love with your room as it is."

I laughed. Of course.

"Ditch your stuff so I can give you that tour," she demanded.

"Okay, okay." I placed my suitcase next to her bed and dumped my bag next to it, and she threw my pillow on top of the bed with hers.

"We'll start on the third floor and work our way down."

I just nodded and followed her up a spiraled flight of wood stairs to the left of her room. It was quite a workout just getting from one end of her house to the other; now I understood what she meant about it being slightly annoying.

For the next twenty or so minutes Alice paraded around, pointing at various doors and listing off names while I struggled to keep up and commit everything to memory. I had been right about the third floor; it was a large office – her dad's, she told me. It was very clean-cut and organized, just like a doctor's office.

There were five bathrooms scattered throughout the entire span of the house, seven bedrooms, one kitchen, one dining room, two living rooms, a media room, one other office, and four hall closets – two for linen and décor, two extra walk-ins for clothes. And the backyard stretched on until it hit the Sul Duc River a mile away. No joke.

I found the whole thing quite overwhelming. I'd been raised in a simple middle-class family, perhaps a bit more fortunate than most because of my parents' prestigious jobs, but not by much. I had my own car and I had my own room, our house was two stories and it had a backyard, but it was nothing compared to the riches of Forks. I would have never expected such a small and undetectable town to be filled with such blue blood. But, as for saying it was only a few families that were so well off. Most did fit in with the typical stereotype for a place that could fit into a back corner of my hometown.

Alice was very collected about the whole thing, and I only heard true sincerity in her words as she showed off her life for me. But I couldn't even call it that; I was amazed at how dismissively she acknowledged every room or item like it didn't matter at all. She wasn't haughty or arrogant like I knew most people would be, and it made me appreciate her all the more.

The only time during the tour that there was any real trouble was when we got to Edward's room. Alice had been insistent on barging right in and giving him a vindictive wake-up call, but I dragged her up the stairs and back to her room before she could break down the door. I was surprised that he didn't hear our arguing, but he probably did and just chose to ignore it. I honestly couldn't blame him; if I didn't watch my back, Alice would probably convince me to do something I'd regret in the morning…like murder. I wasn't taking any chances; I'd made her solidly agree to no fighting while I was under her roof. I already had my one battle scar for the day; I really didn't want another one to match.

"But he deserves it," she nodded, smacking her fist into her other palm.

I rolled my eyes. "Honestly Alice, for someone that claims to love that guy so much, you sure do love to beat him around, too."

"Well, like I said…he deserves it. He should know not to try shit with me by now. Of course I love him, but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna hurt him."

"Okay, note to self. Stay out of Alice's way and never try to stand up to her."

She laughed, throwing a pillow at me from her bed. "I would never hurt _you_, so you don't have to worry about that."

"What makes me so special?" I asked her, unable to curb my curiosity.

Her energy rapidly disappeared, until the only thing left on her face was a sad little smile. "You wouldn't hurt me."

I was a bit shocked by her complete trust. "Alice, I'm not going to disagree with you because of course I would never hurt you…but don't you think it's a bit dangerous to trust someone you've barely known a week?"

She shrugged slightly and threw me a knowing look. "I can usually tell upon first encounters if it's a smart idea to trust a person or not. And ninety-five percent of the time, I'm right. I have very good instincts; I could tell right away that we were going to become great friends."

I smiled at her. "Well, I'm glad you feel that way. I guess I was lonelier than I thought; it feels wonderful to have a friend again."

"I'll make sure that you never feel lonely again."

Her mom arrived home from work a few minutes later, and she came upstairs to greet us. I didn't know if Alice had even asked permission to host a sleepover, but Mrs. Cullen didn't seem to mind at all. She instantly pulled me into a hug and told me how sorry she was, and asked if there was anything she could do for me, catching me slightly off guard. I guess Alice must have told her about my parents. Or Lily…right, they were best friends. I remember her telling me she'd told both the doctor and his wife; the first reason I'd wanted to avoid meeting them. I didn't want their pity.

But more importantly, I just didn't want to be around Alice's _parents_ while the absence of mine was still so fresh. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it together. I'd sort of forgotten about that part when I accepted her invitation to spend the night. But it was too late for that now.

"Oh, my dear," Mrs. Cullen soothed, rubbing my back in the same gesture that my mom would use to comfort me. The reminder hit me quickly and powerfully, and as expected, I started crying.

Alice came over and wrapped her arms around me from behind, sandwiching me between her and her mom. I was embarrassed beyond belief, for allowing myself to break down in front of others not once, but _twice_ in the same _day_. I'd never fallen to that before, and I could feel that my face was burning crimson.

Thankfully, I was able to regain control of myself much quicker than the first time, in Gym. _That_ was downright mortifying; I was a little scared to go back to the Hale's and face Jasper now. Despite his calm acceptance of the situation, I'd probably terrified him. I know I would have fled for the hills – handling other people's tragedies was not my specialty by any means. It made me feel less than considerate, because I really just wanted to help, but I was so lost on how to actually accomplish anything. I feared that I'd probably just make them feel worse.

"I'm fine now," I said breathily, carefully untangling myself from the embrace. "I'm sorry about that…but thank you, Mrs. Cullen."

She straightened out her blouse and gave me a warm smile. "Anytime, dear. And please, call me Esme. We're not very formal in this household."

It was a bit ironic, considering the house that they lived in. But those words made me feel suddenly less small and wary in my new surroundings. I returned Esme's smile appreciatively. "Thank you. I hope I'm not intruding."

"Nonsense," she dismissed the idea, flicking her hand as to further prove her point. "Any friend of Alice's is welcome here any time, especially you. If you ever need something, all you have to do is ask."

I nodded, besieged by her utmost kindness and generosity. She, like the rest of her family, was extremely beautiful. Her eyes were the same emerald as Alice's only warmer and wiser, and her shoulder-length hair was a mix of varying browns with strong auburn hues. "Okay. Thank you so much."

She smiled again. "All right Bella, what would you like for dinner?"

"Anything is fine," I said quickly, glancing over at Alice. "Whatever Alice wants."

"Pasta!" the little pixie shrieked, bouncing on her heels.

"Yeah, that sounds good," I agreed.

"Are you sure?" Esme asked. "Alice is a vegetarian, so she usually eats her own dinners. But the rest of us are not…do you want chicken, or beef or something?"

I shook my head. "No, pasta sounds great. I can help you make it."

"Oh, you don't have to do that."

"No, really," I grinned. "I love to cook."

"Spaghetti!" Alice chimed again, making us all laugh.

"Okay then," Esme chuckled. "If you want to help come down in about ten minutes. Let me just make sure that Edward is all right with our choice."

"Who cares," Alice mumbled, sticking out her tongue.

"Manners, young lady." Esme gave her a stern look, but it quickly softened when Alice immediately straightened out. "Your father is working late tonight, so he won't be home. And Emmett just called a few minutes ago; he's having dinner at the Hale's and won't be home until nine thirty."

Her face deflated slightly. "Aww why does he have to be away tonight? I wanted him to meet Bella!"

"And he will. Nine thirty isn't very late; I assume you girls will still be awake then."

"Of course!" Alice shot me a lopsided smile, and I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

"But it's still a school night," Esme reprimanded, pulling out the strict expression again as she regarded us both. "I want lights out by no later than eleven thirty."

"Yes, Mother," Alice trilled, and I flinched slightly. I glanced up to see if either of them had noticed, but thankfully they didn't seem to have.

"Alright, I'll be downstairs," Esme finished.

We both promised to come down in a few minutes and she nodded and left. Alice helped me unpack some of my things before we walked to the kitchen and helped her mom make dinner. Well…at least Alice attempted. Already I adored the girl, but I quickly learned that she couldn't cook to save her life. Eventually Esme and I just had her fill glasses and set the table while we made the real meal.

By the time everything was ready, my nerves were about ready to send me through the roof. The slightest movement or noise was enough to make me jump a full foot in the air. Esme shot me concerned looks, but Alice's eyes were understanding. She knew I was nervous to see Edward. I'd hoped that he preferred eating in his room, like I sometimes did, but Esme explained that they all ate together when I'd casually asked. Wonderful. Let the awkwardness begin.

I was more than certain that he wouldn't be pleased to learn I was spending the night; if he didn't already know, that is. But even if he did, that wasn't going to save me from intercepting some very hostile glares across the table.

"Don't worry about Jerkface," Alice murmured as we took our seats at the elaborate wooden table. "He knows I'll hurt him if he lays another finger on you."

"Violence is never the answer, Alice," I teased, feigning contentment.

"Unless you're protecting your friends."

I smiled at her. "Thanks."

The sound of footsteps hitting the wooden floor of the hallway echoed throughout the room, and I was instantly alert. My head snapped up when the noise stopped, and I was met with the sight of an exhausted and unkempt-looking Edward standing in the doorway. His appearance startled me a bit; during school he'd looked much more put together. Apparently, I wasn't the only one that noticed.

"Edward, my goodness!" Esme started as she took him in. "What have you been doing? You look half dead."

He shrugged and ran a hand through his disheveled bronze hair. "I dunno. Stuff. I'm fine, Esme."

"Well you certainly don't look fine."

He let out a deep sigh and walked into the room, pulling out the chair across from me and sitting down. It hadn't escaped my notice that he hadn't glanced toward me, just Alice. And while the look he gave her wouldn't exactly be categorized under friendly, it wasn't downright hostile either. He just looked indifferent…carefully indifferent.

"Have you met Bella yet?" Esme asked him, beginning to dish out the spaghetti.

"Yeah, I have." He looked up at me for the first time. "She's in three of my classes at school."

I was stunned that he'd paid attention enough to know that. The only reason _I _did was because I'd been trying to purposefully avoid all eye contact with him during those classes. But what really stunned me was the lack of malice in his voice as he answered his aunt's questions.

"Oh, that's wonderful," Esme smiled, obviously pleased. "Alice says she has a couple classes with you as well," she added, staring at me.

I nodded. "I also have two with my cousin, so I'm lucky to have an ally in almost all of them."

"Rosalie?"

I blanched slightly, my breath catching in the back of my throat. "Umm…no. Jasper."

"Ah, yes. Of course." She nodded. "He's a sweet boy. Wonderful manners."

I laughed silently. "Tell that to his mom. She'll be happy."

Esme and Alice both looked at me with cautious expressions, and I realized they were still wary because of my minor breakdown. I mentally sighed. Like I was going to let that happen again.

"So, how was your first day of school, dear?" Esme asked gently.

"It was…interesting." I frowned.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, it could have been better." That was the understatement of the century. _Anything _would have been better than my six hour stay in hell.

In my peripheral vision, I noticed Edward's eyes flashed up to my face, but I couldn't see the emotion in them. I turned my head to meet his gaze, but his cold emerald eyes were unreadable. My frown deepened, and I glanced down at my plate and began to twirl the spaghetti with my fork mindlessly.

The rest of dinner passed smoothly but silently. Conversation was sparse; only Alice and Esme continued to input small things about their day. They also mentioned an upcoming event that I'd completely forgotten about – Halloween. I'd been so distracted the past month that I hadn't realized how quickly time went by.

"You should come get pumpkins with us, Bella," Alice chirped excitedly. "Rose has gone with us since we were both ten, and we managed to get Jazz to come with us last year, too. It'll be really fun!"

I stared at her blankly. "There's pumpkins in Forks?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. We go to Seattle to get them, and we also get our costumes there unless we make them. I want to be Batgirl this year! You should be Catwoman with me! Oh, and maybe I can get Rose to be Harley Quinn!"

"Ummm…" I looked over at Esme and she just smiled and nodded. "Sure, I guess. When would we do that?"

"This weekend," Alice trilled, positively shaking with excitement by now. "Emmett can be the Joker and Edward, you can be Batman!"

He looked startled for a second, probably because her statement was one of the first non-violent sentiments he'd received from her all week. But then the next second he frowned and rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Esme cast him a disapproving glance. "Edward, I think you should do this with your cousins and their friends. It could be fun."

He sighed lightly but nodded. "Okay, sure. I mean, if it is tradition…"

She smiled. "Alice looks forward to it every year."

"Halloween is my favorite holiday," she chirped, still on an energy high. "Well, besides Christmas but that's everyone's favorite so it doesn't count."

I couldn't argue; she was right. Christmas was an automatic, and this year I would actually have the potential of getting a white Christmas – something I'd never had but always wanted. When we used to visit Forks every winter, it was always a few weeks before Christmas. As much as we all loved the cold holiday weather, my parents never liked the idea of having Christmas away from home. But this year, things were different. Lily always wanted us to stay through New Year's; she was finally going to get her wish. I was staying through New Year's, and Valentine's Day, Easter, the 4th of July…

"Mom, can Bella and I be excused, please?" Alice asked, her voice bringing me back to reality.

Esme nodded. "Just rinse your plates and put them in the dishwasher." She turned to Edward. "Edward, if you're finished why don't you do the same? You guys should all watch a movie or something."

Alice and I exchanged glances. So much for retreating back to her room.

"Mom, Bella and I were actually heading back upstairs to talk for a while," Alice said sweetly. That girl could get away with murder with her charm. "I highly doubt Edward would be interested in the gossip of two high school girls."

"Then find something else to do," Esme replied, frowning slightly. "I'm concerned that you don't spend enough time with your cousin, Alice. You spend all your time with friends, and I'm sure Edward is feeling a bit neglected."

"I'm fine, Esme," Edward grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose between two long pale fingers. "You worry too much about me."

"With good reason," she reprimanded. "Look at you! It's obvious that you're still physically and mentally unstable, and that's completely understandable. But you should just be thankful that you're _alive_. I know you were wounded, but you could have been killed so easily. But you survived, and you're still alive. I want you to spend more time acting like you are; I walk into your room and I feel like it belongs to a dead man. I know you're still recovering, and I know it's going to take time, but it's just so unsettling for the people that care about you to see you acting so indifferent. Please, Edward. For me."

I stared at Esme in shock, surprised by the intensity of her speech. Then I looked at Edward, and I saw the hurt that flashed across his face before it returned to the emotionless mask. His reaction, as well as her words themselves, raised several questions in my mind. I remembered Alice's request that I give Edward a chance, and for the first time I sincerely wondered what had happened to this guy. He was obviously lost like me, but at least I had steady ground beneath my feet.

"I'm tired," he finally said, his voice flat. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

I watched as he got up and washed his dishes, and then left the room without another word. Silence followed him, and I looked to Alice, unsure of what to do next. She had her eyes fixed on Esme, slight surprise showing in them, and an unexpected sadness.

"You girls can go ahead," Esme told us softly. "Just leave your plates on the table. It's alright; I'll take care of them."

Alice gave a little nod and took my hand in hers, gently tugging me toward the doorway. I followed her up the stairs and into her room, my mind racing the entire time. She closed the door as soon as we were inside and immediately went over to her bed and settled on top of it, wrapping her arms around a pillow and digging her chin into it. I sat down in her comfortable chair across from the bed, taking my own pillow and burying my face in it. I could feel Alice watching me, but I didn't look up to meet her eyes.

"So…" she began after another pause of awkward silence.

"Mmm." I didn't know what I was trying to say, but it was muffled by the pillow anyway.

"What do you want to talk about?"

I frowned, finally glancing up at her. "What was that all about?"

"All what?"

"Downstairs in the dining room."

"Oh." She furrowed her eyebrows but didn't say anything.

After waiting patiently for several minutes, I realized that she wasn't going to answer. "Alice."

She sighed heavily, throwing her pillow back. "Oh, alright. Yes, Edward is staying with us because his parents were killed, in case you were wondering."

"How did they die?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

I wasn't sure if I believed her act – she was a very talented liar, after all. I felt bad for prying, but for some reason I couldn't help it. Despite my fear and resentment for him, I did barely know Edward and it wasn't fair to judge…too harshly. And his parents were gone, like mine. Maybe if we understood each other better we could get along better. But in any case, the mystery he presented was quickly becoming incredibly interesting, and I was a master of curiosity. "Alice, tell me what happened."

"I don't know!" she screeched, throwing her hands up. "If you want to hear the story, ask Edward. But good luck; he won't talk to me about it. He won't even talk to Mom or Dad about it."

"Well your mom said he was injured."

She nodded. "Yeah, I don't know where or how, though. All I know is he could have died, but he managed to survive."

"How long as he been here?" I asked, biting my lower lip.

"About a month and a half…something close to that. But Aunt Elizabeth and Uncle Edward died nearly five months ago." She sighed. "Look, even when we're fighting I still try to respect people's space and privacy. I shouldn't be telling you any of this, but in all honesty I don't know anything more. If Edward wants to talk, he will. I know that about him."

I nodded. "Okay. Thank you."

She smiled weakly. "So, what shall we actually talk about?"

"Why Rosalie hates me so much?" I said, half joking-half serious.

She rolled her eyes. "Sorry, I'm afraid I can't help you there, either."

"Darn. Oh well."

We went back and forth like that for several minutes until we actually found a solid topic to discuss. Fashion. It didn't take long to realize that design and fashion dominated Alice's life. I normally didn't care for either, but it was actually sort of interesting listening to her explain who her favorite designers were, where she shopped, the materials and color schemes she looked for…but once she presented the actual idea of shopping downtown Seattle, that was the end of that.

"Aww but you'll love shopping with me," she promised, giving me her big puppy dog eyes. She was hard to resist when she did that, but that trick had never worked on me.

"No, Alice. I don't need any more clothes."

"But don't you _want_ some?" she begged. "Rose loves going shopping. Stop being so stubborn."

"I am not being stubborn," I mumbled crossly. "And I'm not your beloved Rosalie, so stop bringing her up."

"You brought her up first," she retorted.

I pursed my lips, deliberating. "Alright, fine. I'll make a deal with you."

She didn't answer, but waited curiously.

"I'll go shopping with you _once_," I said, emphasizing the last word. I could see her smile widen so I continued before she could interrupt. "And if I like it, then I'll go again and admit that I judged too quickly. But if I hate it, you can _never_ mention the potential of another shopping trip. Ever. Okay?"

She frowned at me, narrowing her eyes slightly. "Fine."

"There now, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"No, but only because I have a proposition for you, now."

I arched one of my eyebrows and crossed my arms. "Try me."

Alice literally sprung up from the bed and raced to the double doors of her closet, throwing them open. She grabbed a few things from inside and ran back to me, dropping them by my feet. I looked at her questionably and she started bouncing on her heels and clapping. "We're playing dress up."

I looked at her in shock. "Aww Alice, are you serious?"

"Yup." She popped the 'p' on her lips, grinning again. "Just a few dresses, okay? We can plan out your school wardrobe another day."

All hope was lost. I sighed, reaching forward to pick up one of the discarded pieces of clothing. It was a short red dress with white jewels adorning it around the bodice and hem. It was beautiful, but it looked like something that would fit on a Barbie doll.

"Umm Alice, I don't think your clothes will fit me."

"Nonsense. What size are you?"

"A small or a medium, depending on the brand." I shrugged, biting my lip again. Another of my bad habits.

"Well, I'm an extra-small in most cases, curse this ridiculously microscopic body," Alice grumbled, eliciting a small smile from me, "but a good portion of my clothes are stretchy."

"Still…" I eyed the dress warily.

She sighed and began sorting through the wide array of colorful clothes, finally flinging something blue at me. I caught it reflexively and held it out, unable to hide my admiration as I examined it.

"_That_ one will fit you, even though the red one would have, too," Alice stated, a smug smile on her face. She didn't miss the look I was giving the dress, though I tried to hide it quickly. "Go ahead, try it on."

I noticed that Alice had picked up a blue dress herself, but a much darker shade than the one I held. We both took off our warm clothing and helped each other into the dresses; hers had a sash that needed to be tied, mine had clasps halfway down the back. When Alice snapped the last clasp into place, I released the deep breath I'd been holding and smiled in surprise. Despite the tight corset-feel of the bodice, I was able to breathe quite easily.

"That one's a small," she told me. "How does it feel?"

"Perfect."

"Good." She grinned. "Because, well Rose keeps some of her clothes here and I'm sure they'd fit you, even though she's really tall."

"Alice, you're joking, right?" I turned to look at her, stunned. "Rosalie would _kill_ me if I even so much as looked at her things."

She shrugged. "She wouldn't have to know."

"I don't think so."

"Okay, okay." She held up her hands in defense. "Just saying. But it doesn't matter anyway. You're so wearing that dress to the next school dance. No buts."

"But-"

"Ah, what did I just say?"

I struggled to find a good argument. "Alice, it's beautiful but I really wouldn't feel comfortable wearing it out…and besides, I don't dance."

She rolled her eyes. "Not going to work, Bella. And you haven't seen your reflection yet."

She grabbed my hand and dragged me to her three-panel full length mirror, and whatever further argument I had instantly died in the back of my throat. "Oh wow."

The dress looked better than I could have ever possibly imagined. Perfect fit, perfect length, perfect color. The sweetheart neckline was just low enough to show that I wasn't completely flat-chested, and the full skirt fell to just about my knees. The hem was frilled with white lace, a feminine touch that I appreciated. It was soft against my legs, and almost made me feel like I was wearing Alice in Wonderland's poofy dress. My only complaint was the fact that the dress was strapless; something I wasn't comfortable with by choice. It was tight enough that I didn't need to worry about it falling down, but I still wasn't comfortable with taking the risk.

"Bella, you're beautiful," Alice cooed, fluffing out the bottom of the skit for me. "And look how well your skin compliments the light blue."

I had to admit, she was right. I never really thought of myself as pretty, just average, so this was a bit of a shock. But still, standing beside Alice, there really was no competition. The pixie was a goddess, and the rich cobalt of her layered dress against her jet hair and emerald eyes made her look like a million dollars. Our similar milky skin aside, she could pull off the short-and-strapless look much better than I could ever dream to.

"Alice," I started.

"I know that tone," she cut me off. "What? You don't like the dress?"

"No, no I love it," I assured her. "I just wish it wasn't strapless."

She snorted. "Why? Strapless makes me feel sexy." She spun around in a little circle and struck a pose, as if to emphasize her point.

"Exactly. That's not something I'm used to feeling."

"Well get used to it."

I could tell that was the end of that argument. With a sigh, I nodded. "Very well."

"It's not the end of the world, Bella," she chirped. "And when the time for the dance comes, I'll help you with your hair and makeup and if you have anything left to complain about, I'll kick you out of the house."

"That's reassuring," I grumbled.

"Blah blah blah. Here, this will shut you up." She dashed back to the pile of discarded clothes and tossed another dress at me. It was blood red and had thick straps, but it was much shorter and form-fitting than the one I was wearing. And it had the deepest plunging neckline the material could handle.

"Aww, Alice!"

"Now you like your dress better?" she asked sweetly. "Or would you rather I force you into that one? Because if you don't want to wear it, I will."

"Very funny." I threw the red one back at her and she laughed.

"Okay, okay. Here, try this one." She handed me a white one, but I only gave it a short glance.

"Alice, can we please just get our pyjamas on?"

"But you only tried on one dress," she whined.

"If I put the white one on, will you get off my tail?"

She nodded. "You can wear that one to a party! We throw a ton of them here when my parents are out of town. My brother knows how to make them amazing!"

I sighed. "Great."

* * *

We talked for a while more once we were in our pajamas; mine a pair of gray flannel pants and two layered tank tops and hers a long sleeved nightgown and shorts. We were halfway through an in-depth conversation discussing the pros and cons of wearing a scarf in the rain when there was a fierce knocking on the door. I jumped slightly, startled, but Alice just grinned and yelled, "Come in!"

The door flew open and one of the biggest guys I'd ever seen walked in. I recognized him from lunch, but even my observations then didn't do him justice. He was tall – at least 6'4" – muscled, and indisputably good looking; another family ting, for sure. I would have been beyond intimidated by him, but the ridiculous lopsided grin he was wearing strangely put me at ease.

"Emmers!" Alice squealed, jumping up and racing over to him. She giggled when he picked her up effortlessly and twirled her around in a circle.

"Well hello there, little Ali," he replied in a deep but pleasant voice. His laugher was rich and loud, and it filled the entire room. It was obvious that the two of them were very close, and for an instant I felt a pinch of jealousy. I'd always wanted an older brother.

Once he'd set Alice down, she walked back to me and took my hand, pulling me up to my feet. "Emmett, I'd like you to meet my new best friend, Bella. Bella, this is my brother, Emm."

"Pleasure to meet you," he said, taking a deep bow before me. I giggled, unable to help it. He was so silly, especially for someone that looked like he could snap me between his fingers without trying. I guess that saying 'don't judge a book by its cover' was truer that I'd thought. It worked for Alice, now Emmett…maybe even Edward? No; he still had a lot to prove before I gave him any of my respect.

I gasped in surprise when the floor suddenly disappeared beneath my feet, and Emmett swung me around in a circle like he'd done to his sister. When he put me down I let out a shaky laugh and shook the hand he thrust toward me. "It's nice to meet you, too."

"Ali, I must say you bring home the most beautiful friends," he told her, winking at me. His cool gray eyes sparkled with life. I blushed and gave him a wide smile.

"I know," she agreed. "First Rose, then Charlotte, now Bella."

"Who's Charlotte?" I asked her.

"A friend of Jasper and mine. She moved away, though."

"Went to go live with her boyfriend, Peter," Emmett added, rolling his eyes. At my look of alarm he laughed. "Don't worry; they're in college."

"Oh." I frowned. "But Alice, wait. I thought Rosalie was your best friend."

"Yeah Ali, what's the big idea?" Emmett asked with mock fury. "You slighting my girl?"

"Of course not," she sighed. "I'm allowed to have more than one best friend."

"But you girls are still fighting," he frowned, shaking his head slightly. "She's so much more irritable when she's at war with someone, you know? I can tell she really misses you."

"And I miss her too," Alice said simply. "But if she wants me back, she has to learn to accept that Bella comes with me."

"Good luck with that." He cast me a brief look and sighed. "Bella, I'm sure you're a great girl, but my Rosie can be one tough nut to crack. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I shrugged. "We've always had a very…strained relationship." Strained was an enormous understatement, but I didn't want to say something insulting to Emmett. I wouldn't forget that I was much smaller than him, and regardless I didn't like talking behind anyone's back, no matter how they treated me. Well…almost anyone. I thought of a certain someone down the stairs and halfway down the hallway and felt a twinge of guilt. I had no idea why, though. I was far too nice; it was bound to be the death of me, but I didn't care enough to be cruel.

"So, what are you two up to?" Emmett asked suddenly.

Alice and I exchanged glances and shrugged. "Not much. We've just been talking."

"Do you want to play a game?" he grinned.

She looked to me and I nodded. Why not? "Umm…sure. What kind of game?"

"A card game. How about Gin Rummy?"

"Oh, I love that game!" Alice shrieked, clapping her hands together.

I looked at her in confusion. "What game?"

"We can teach you how to play," she promised. "Only two of us can play at a time, so you should watch until you get it. It's _really_ easy."

"Okay. How does it start?"

We spent the next hour and a half playing the game, and true to her word Alice taught me in a matter of minutes. And it _was_ really fun.

By the time we wrapped it up it was nearly eleven thirty and Esme came up to remind us to go to bed. Emmett said his goodbyes and gave us both hugs before retreating down the hall to his room, but not before promising we could visit him once Esme was asleep, just if we wanted to talk or continue playing card games. Alice rolled her eyes and shooed him out, telling him that he needed more sleep. I knew what he meant, though; I was a night person, as well as a morning one – a rare blessing. Most nights I went to bed at midnight or later, and I could get up at six and be fine. Alice seemed more like a girl who enjoyed her sleep. Her collapsing face-first onto the bed the second we were alone was a pretty big indication.

"I'm going to go brush my teeth," I told her while I searched for my toothpaste.

"Mmhkm." Whatever she said was muffled by the quilt stuck to her face.

"What?"

She raised her head and yawned. "Okay. I'm too tired. Sorry."

"No problem." I gave her a small smile. "I have nights where I can hardly keep my eyes open. I'll be right back."

But when I returned less than five minutes later, her lights were already out and she was out cold. I chuckled silently as I crept my way to the bed, not wanting to run into something and wake her up. But when I felt my toe hit the book I'd brought along, I realized that I wasn't tired at all. I picked up the thick piece of literature and ran my hand over the smooth cover, pursing my lips. Perhaps Emmett would let me read in his room. He seemed trustworthy, and he _had_ offered.

When I was out in the hallway, though, I suddenly became self-conscious. I was about to turn back for Alice's room when I randomly decided that I was hungry enough to eat something. It wasn't uncommon for me to snack in the middle of the night, but I hadn't been doing it as often lately. I would normally never raid someone's kitchen – I still wasn't comfortable doing it at the Hale's – but Esme had exclusively told me that if I was ever hungry, she would be insulted if I didn't go and find something to eat.

I decided that I would nab a quick bowl of cereal and then return upstairs, so I quickly swept down the old staircase as quietly as I could. It was really dark at the bottom, and I tried to remember which way led to the kitchen without having to turn a light on. I was about to go left when I heard something breaking through the pure silence on the other end of the hall, and it took a second for my heart to slow enough for me to realize what it was. Music. Subtle and gentle; it sounded like a guitar. And I couldn't quite pinpoint it, but it sounded like a song I knew.

Unconsciously, I felt myself being drawn to it. I let my feet be carried down the hallway toward it, my original cereal hunting expedition long forgotten. I didn't even realize until I was standing outside the door that it was coming from Edward's room. I was so startled that I almost turned around and ran, but I couldn't seem to make my feet move anymore. So I gave in and listened, slowly becoming enthralled by the quiet rhythm of the song.

I thought he went to bed, I thought to myself as the music became even quieter. I wonder why he's still awake. Maybe he's a night person, too…

"I know you're there, you know."

I let out a gasp at the sound of his voice, instantly going into a panic. He must have seen my shadow from the light under the door. I was about to turn and run for real, but before I could move an inch the door swung open and I was left face-to-face with an exhausted and irritated looking Edward Masen. Well, this could get interesting. At least I'd lived a pretty good life.

"Bella? What are you doing here?" he asked, slightly narrowing his eyes. "Do you know what time it is?" Yup, definitely annoyed. I was dealing with a volcano on the verge of exploding.

"Well you're still up," I noted, instantly regretting it. "But…I mean…well, it's only midnight. That's not very late for…umm…"

He sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair; a nervous twitch, I was beginning to realize. Mine were biting my lips and running my fingers through the ends of my hair. "What is it with you and fucking stuttering?"

I looked at him in surprise. He wasn't going to yell at me? "Umm…well I just…sorry?"

He just closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. "You didn't answer my first question."

"Oh." I blinked. "Umm I was coming downstairs for a bowl of cereal and I heard you playing and I just kinda…ended up over here?"

He didn't say anything; he just kept his eyes closed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Another twitch.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean any harm," I said quickly, holding up my hands in defense. "I know that you probably don't like anyone listening to you, and I can totally relate to that and I'm sorry for…"

I was cut off by his hand pressing against my mouth, preventing me from talking. My eyes widened and I looked up into his emerald ones with alarm.

"I'm not going to hurt you again," he promised, but he didn't remove his hand. "I shouldn't have done that before. But can you do me a favor?"

Holy crow did he just apologize to me? Even if not directly, it was good enough for me. I nodded and tried to speak, but he tightened his seal over my lips.

"Shut the fuck up and stop fucking apologizing."

I choked back whatever I was going to say and probably went a shade whiter.

He quickly released me and I took a deep breath, holding on to his doorframe for support.

"Umm…are you okay? You look like you're about to pass out."

"I'm fine," I said weakly. "Just…startled."

He nodded vaguely. "Do you want to…er, sit down?"

Whoa, whoa, whoa…say what? "Umm…sure?"

He looked over awkwardly. "Yeah…look, I know I was a dick to you today…and I guess last week, too. I've just been having a really fucking hard time lately. Everything's pissing me off."

"It's okay. I don't mind," I said, wondering why I suddenly didn't.

He frowned and let out an irritated huff. "You don't need to lie."

"Fine. I guess I'm just wondering why you're suddenly being…nice? Last Monday I honestly thought you were about to kill me."

"Yeah, well…I don't really take kindly to strangers. Girls especially. And there were several things that made our meeting a bit more…complicated."

"Like what?" I asked curiously.

"None of your business," he snapped, instantly reforming back to the angry, terrifying person I knew him to be. I shied away from the intensity of his icy glare, taking a step back.

He continued to glower for another minute, but then I watched as his shoulders loosened and he relaxed. Instead of addressing me again, though, he turned around and walked back into his room, picking up his guitar from the floor on the way. I continued standing there awkwardly as he settled on his bed and grabbed a pick off the nightstand.

Finally, he looked up. "Are you going to come in or are you going to continue standing there like a fucking idiot? Because I really don't care either way."

"Oh. I didn't know you wanted me to stay."

He rolled his eyes. "I don't. But I don't care if you do. Now make up your mind before you wake up the whole house."

I felt a brief moment of indecision, but for some reason I wanted to stay. Now that I'd broken through a bit of his rough exterior, Edward's mystery just seemed all the more inviting. I thought back to my promise of avoiding all boys for a while…screw that. Jasper was amazing, Emmett was hilarious, and Edward…well, Edward was going through the same thing as me.

"Close the door," he commanded once I'd stepped inside. I complied, and then followed his next instruction to sit down on the black couch across from the bed. It was pure leather, it seemed, and incredibly comfortable.

"So what were you really doing down here?" he asked once I'd settled.

I shot him a quizzical look. "What are you talking about?"

"Come on, do you really expect me to believe that you were going to get a snack?"

"Umm…yes. I get hungry in the middle of the night." I shrugged. "Alice is already asleep, and I'm not tired. So I figured I'd eat."

He let out a rough, humorless laugh. "Great plan. If you plan on staying that skinny for long you might want to rethink it."

I frowned, mildly offended. But I choose to keep my mouth shut. "Okay then, why are you really allowing me to sit on your couch, in your room, when you've given me the impression that I'm hated and unwelcome anywhere near you?"

Now it was his turn to look surprised. "I told you, it wasn't fair for me to just pounce on you right away. I'm not looking for friends, but I gave your cousins a chance. I guess you deserve one, too."

"Well you could have been a little nicer, earlier," I mumbled, unable to fully contain my growing frustration. "Alice told me some of the things you said about me."

He laughed again. "Of course she did."

I glared at him, and he returned it.

"Look, I'm new at this, okay?" he growled.

"Excuse me?'

"Nevermind. Anyway, you shouldn't be awake this late. It's a school night. And don't fucking tell me that I shouldn't be talking. I've already got two girls on my tail, and neither of them are my mom, so leave me the fuck alone," he snapped.

"I wasn't going to say anything," I shot back.

He bristled slightly, but released a deep breath. "Alright, fine."

Was it impossible for him to say a simple sorry? Honestly.

Neither of us said anything for a minute, and the tension was so thick I could almost feel it. Finally, I had to say something.

"I'm a night person," I stated simply. "I like staying up late."

Edward had gone back to his guitar, tuning it I assumed. He glanced up at me for a second before looking back down. "Me too."

"You said you were tired, though," I reminded him. "At dinner."

He smiled slightly, shaking his head as he worked. "Yeah well, sometimes lying is necessary."

"Then how do I know that you're not lying to me now?"

"Why does it matter?"

I frowned at that, going silent again.

"What's that?"

I automatically looked up and he was staring at the book still in my hands. I'd completely forgotten about it.

"Oh, it's…nothing." I picked at the binding gingerly. "Just one of my favorite books."

"Well no fucking duh it's a book," he said, rolling his eyes. "I asked which one it was."

I frowned again. "_Romeo and Juliet_."

He nodded. "Mmm."

"Have you read it?"

"Mmhmm."

"Oh. Did you like it?"

"It was alright." He shrugged, shooting me a bored look. "I actually found it very entertaining."

I raised my eyebrows. "Entertaining? A tragedy? Please, enlighten me."

"Well it's just ridiculous how stereotypically pathetic Romeo is," he smirked, chuckling darkly. "I mean, he's blinded by lust and falls in love with just about every pretty face he sees."

"That's not true," I said, instantly defensive. I didn't know where my sudden confidence was coming from.

"Oh really?"

"Romeo only loved Juliet," I argued. "He only _thought_ he loved Rosaline at the beginning, but he didn't realize until he'd met Juliet that he was wrong. Because she was the one he was destined to be with."

"Oh please," he said, openly laughing at me. "You don't honestly believe that, do you? All that stupid fuckery about soul mates and love at first sight and shit?"

"Maybe," I responded defiantly, growing annoyed by his ridicule. "And there's nothing wrong with that. I know plenty of guys that believe in it, too."

"Yeah, and they're all named Romeo, right?" he laughed. "They would be the same pathetic excuses for men."

"Have you always been this cruel?" I snapped. "I mean, who broke your heart?"

He instantly fell silent, his smile twisting into a hard scowl. I stared at him, stunned.

"So that's it, then?" I had only meant the insult as a sarcastic remark, not….literally. "Someone broke your heart?"

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about," he snarled, visibly angry. I reflexively shied away. "You don't know me, or what I've been through. So if I were you I'd back off; you're on thin ice as it is."

"Well you could tell me," I mumbled. "If I knew, there would be no way for me to falsely accuse you anymore."

"Why would I tell you?" He looked astonished that I'd even asked. "Why would I tell you _anything?_"

"Because I'm a good listener. And because I understand what you're going through."

Edward let out one short, humorless laugh. "Oh really? Well I'm afraid your service is unnecessary. I'm perfectly fine, so you don't need to worry your pretty little head, Swan."

"I just lost my parents, too. It's okay," I persisted stupidly. I wasn't really comfortable with openly talking about my loss, and I suspected he felt the same, but what else could I do? He was lying through his teeth, and Alice had hinted that there was far more to his story than he let on. In times like these, stupidity was the only answer.

The glare I received in response was more than enough to tell me that I'd shattered my thin ice and fallen into the frigid waters of my death. Apparently, stupidity was the only answer in every case _but _this.

"What did you just say?"

My self-preservation instinct automatically kicked in at his tone. I'd crossed the line.

"N-nothing."

"No, I heard something," he purred darkly, rising to his feet. "Would you care to say it again?"

"That's alright," I stuttered, backing into the couch.

"Really, I insist."

"Edward stop." I brought my book up to my face as he slowly moved toward me. "You're scaring me." Like that would do anything.

"Now why would I be scaring you?"

That was it. I jumped up and bolted for the door, dropping my book and concentrating only on the fact that my life could very soon end. As I reached for the door knob I felt a hand grab my arm, the same one from school, and I spun around. Edward's face was flushed from the heat of his anger, his deadly gentle façade melted away. I opened my mouth to scream but he reached out with his other hand and covered my lips with suffocating force.

"Don't you _ever_ fucking mention my parents again," he seethed, his warm breath tickling my skin. He dragged me closer to him until I was looking directly up into his eyes. "Got it?"

I nodded frantically, my heart racing like I had just finished running ten miles without stopping. I could feel tears brimming in my eyes, and I tried to blink them back before they could betray me. A few managed to escape despite my efforts, and as they streaked down my face, something in Edward's demeanor shifted.

I watched as his expression gradually changed, the fury in his eyes turning into shock, and his grip on my arm loosened. The hand covering my mouth remained firm, but I could no longer feel the force behind it. Seconds passed and he didn't move or speak, and I wouldn't dare try either. Finally, he closed his eyes and tilted his face down, so I could no longer see his expression.

"Bella...I-"

I listened as he struggled with himself, unable to put his thoughts into words. Normally I sympathized with people in that situation, but all I wanted to do was run away from him and hide where it was safe.

More silence followed, stretching for minutes, before he spoke again. When he did, his voice was confident and demanding again. "I'm going to take my hands back, and I don't want you to scream. Just remain silent, alright?"

I nodded, knowing there was nothing else I could do. A few seconds later I felt a breath of cold air as he let go and instantly pulled back several feet. I stood straight up and reached for the door knob, but this time more slowly. My panic had settled slightly as soon as he'd backed away.

"Wait."

I turned around and he was still standing a ways back, but he had one of his hands extended toward me. His expression was unreadable, though, as was his tone.

"What do you want?" My voice was a bit sharp, and it shook from my fear and crying. But I had reason to be upset, and I'd always had a tendency to snap to anger directly after being scared. My mom said it was a defense mechanism that my brain had developed, but my dad just said that it was because I didn't like anyone seeing me afraid. He always teased me relentlessly…and as much as I'd hated it then, I would give anything to have it back now.

"I shouldn't have attacked you like that. I can't control my reactions."

I didn't know what to say. This guy was legitimately bipolar. It had to be the only explanation. "It's okay. I can't control mine, either." Why did I keep saying stuff like that? I was supposed to be furious.

He nodded, but looked skeptical. I'd always been a terrible liar. "You can still stay, if you want."

I stared at him in shock. Seriously? Did he really think I would want to stay after _that? _"Umm…thanks, but I think I'm actually going to try to get some sleep now. Tomorrow _is_ only my second day at school, after all. I need to keep up a positive impression…or at least fix yesterday's."

He flinched slightly before nodding again. "Yeah…well, goodnight then."

"Goodnight."

I turned around and left the room without looking back, wondering what in the world had just happened. In the short amount of time I'd spent in Edward's company, he'd gone from angry to quiet to worried to joking to furious to violent to repentant to…I really don't know. What was the ending note to all that mess of emotions? I would like to think it was something a bit more positive that what we'd established upon first meeting. But I was fully expecting him to slaughter me tomorrow, if I was being honest.

As I started the climb up to Alice's bedroom, the thought of food long dismissed, I tried to reason with myself that this was all a dream that I wouldn't remember in the morning. But I could faintly hear the gentle strumming of a guitar in the distance, and it only disappeared once I'd curled up on the large purple bed and closed my eyes.


	8. Confrontation

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. But the personality tweaks I've added to her characters belong to me ;3

A/N: Yeah, I know. I'm not even going to say anything or make up excuses. I'm not dead. I haven't dropped this story. I love writing but I hate not being able to put words onto paper perfectly. School is going to eat my soul. Blah blah blah you get the idea. If you've remained loyal to this story, I respect and appreciate you very VERY much because I don't deserve it. I get distracted. I procrastinate. I really shouldn't be a writer haha. If you're new, please, come right in! Enjoy! I'll try not to disappear off the face of the earth again, but I can't make any promises. But I'll try! I love you all! Please remember to review; you really have no idea how much those short and simple reviews brighten my day! :)

-Steph

* * *

7. CONFRONTATION

EDWARD—

I had no idea what the hell had just happened. One minute I was strumming my guitar in a blissful world of ignorance, and the next second it was shattered by the appearance of none other than Bella Swan. I'd tried to hide my anger at first, not quite sure why I felt the need to, but it hadn't really mattered. I was too surprised to be fully livid, and she looked so small and frightened that I couldn't help but feel a little bad for her. The last time she'd stared up at me like that, I'd felt nothing but misplaced ferocity and bitterness toward her and I hadn't cared at all that I was taking it out on her – a weak but innocent stranger. Now that she was one of Alice's best friends…her face had a name to it, so to speak. And all I could see when I looked into her startled brown eyes was the fear that I'd instilled in them, and I could hear the cry I'd wielded from her lips when I slammed her wrist just hours ago. I was raised better than that. Despite what Alice thought, though I believed her earlier accusations to be lies, I _did_ know how to be a gentleman. I just didn't act like it by choice.

I tried to ease Swan's mind a bit, and prove to her that I wasn't about to jump her throat. She still looked pale though – well, paler than usual – and I was afraid she might collapse. Not that I was worried for her or anything, I just wouldn't know what to do if she did. Carlisle still wasn't home, and I really didn't want to go banging on Esme's door and be forced to explain to her why Swan was even outside my room this late at night.

And then, before I could properly register what was happening, I'd invited her to come inside. What. The. Fuck.

I guess she wasn't _as_ bad as I'd automatically assumed, though. I mean, she was still unwanted company, and her earlier behavior completely warranted her as a bitch, but I wasn't exactly being perfectly social, either. And once I'd turned it around in my mind a few times, I realized that I'd willingly given her cousins Rosalie and Jasper enough of a chance to be not-hated. I'd jumped Swan before I'd even met her just because her parents were…dead. Just like mine. I don't know why I'd thought that ignoring her existence would solve that issue. So I decided to play nice and see how she took it. And, despite the occasional frightened or confused glance and a few harsh words, she took it pretty fucking well. I could even feel my irritation lessening as the minutes passed and we settled into a comfortable if not tolerable conversation. Of course, that all disappeared the second she decided to mention my love life, and my parents.

Instantly, my vision flared red and I was reminded of one of the many reasons why I hated girls – they're so fucking nosy! It was none of her business to know a thing about my life. But then before I could stop myself, I'd grabbed her and threatened her when she tried to run away. I was a monster – I knew it. And I hated _myself_ for it.

"I shouldn't have attacked you like that," I tried to explain to her once she'd regained composure and distanced herself from me. I knew I probably should have directly apologized, but I just couldn't do that. I just fucking couldn't, and I didn't know why. "I can't control my reactions."

She gave me a stunned look that also seemed to question my sincerity, but then she sighed and mumbled, "It's okay. I can't control mine, either."

I internally frowned. She didn't have to say that. "You can still stay, if you want."

Cue the stunned look again, though I really couldn't blame her. I had no idea what the fuck I was doing, either. For disliking the girl – I mean I still disliked her, right? – I was being pretty generous now.

"Umm…thanks, but I think I'm actually going to try to get some sleep now," she stated. "Tomorrow _is_ only my second day at school, after all. I need to keep up a positive impression…or at least fix yesterday's."

I had to flinch at that. Yeah, I deserved it. Whatever. Fuck her. "Yeah…well, goodnight, then."

"Goodnight."

I listened to her footsteps disappear down the hallway before shedding my clothes and collapsing on my bed, suddenly exhausted. I flicked off the lights and picked up my guitar again, strumming aimlessly in the pitch darkness until eventually, I drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up in the morning the house was still dark. I usually went to bed around one on school nights, my love of the night and its serene isolation preventing me from listening to the half of my brain that wasn't deluded by sleep deprivation, but even with the limited sleep I could always survive the day. Last night I could've gained about an hour extra, but even on nights when I slept far less I didn't wake up this early; my alarm clock said I could _easily_ sleep for another hour and still have time to spare. My head felt heavy and weak from the four and a half hours of rest I'd gained rather than my usual six, but I ignored it and pushed back my covers, rising up and shivering from the rush of icy air that greeted my exposed back. I knew I really should be sleeping with more than just boxers on, especially this time of the year, but I really couldn't be bothered to change my habits. It was raining heavily outside, as usual, and I walked to my window to open it and watch the crystal drops as they raced down from the black sky.

Another uninvited shiver wracked my back.

"Arrg it's fucking cold," I muttered to no one in particular, wrapping my arms around my chest as a makeshift means of warmth. My shoulder throbbed a bit where I'd accidentally been sleeping on it, and I flinched as I reached a hand up to touch it. The closed wound was still sensitive from the gunshot, but I wasn't real worried about it. Esme thought I should still have it bandaged, but I was sick of those thick gauzy strips that smelled like instant hospital.

I remembered I had a sweatshirt draped over the couch in the living room and shivered again. It would be cold, but it would warm up once I put it on. I grabbed some jeans and slipped them on before heading out into the hallway. The silence was slightly unnerving for some reason, and I almost wished someone else was awake to break it. But someone _was_ near, startling me.

I crossed into the massive kitchen and was surprised to see the small light on the corner table turned on, its faint glow giving the room a hazy glow and illuminating the figure of a girl slumped in the chair, her head resting on the table. It had to be Swan; neither Alice or Esme had hair as long as hers, and it spilled across the tabletop and clung to her back in dark messy tendrils.

"Bella?" I accidentally called out, still startled. Fuck, she'd probably be mad if I woke her up, I realized. Temperamental girls.

She stirred slightly, bringing a hand up to stroke her face, and then she suddenly shot up, startling me further.

"Edward?" she mumbled, still dazed. "What are you doing down here?"

I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest, giving her a glare that effectively made her eyes widen. "I could ask you the same thing, Swan. I _live_ here."

She didn't answer, though. In the faint light I could see a rich scarlet color her cheeks, and when I shot her a look of confusion she averted her eyes to the ground.

"What is it now?" I snapped. She looked up at me briefly and turned away again. I looked down and let out a low groan. "Fucking A."

Once I'd noticed her I'd completely forgotten the reason I was down here, and the fact that I was still shirtless. _Fucking girls. _I instantly thought of my gunshot wound and a brief stint of panic struck me, but it was too dark for her to see anything. No one had seen it. And no one would see it. I bit back a bitter sigh.

I stormed off to retrieve my sweatshirt from the other room, throwing it on and cursing again at how cold the fabric was.

"Okay, time to answer," I demanded again as I reentered the kitchen, noticing that Swan had moved and she was now perched on one of the marble countertops adjacent to her table.

She stared at me with slight fear, and murmured, "I couldn't sleep. I usually get up early anyway, well not this early, but I just couldn't sleep. I woke up at four thirty and came down here to read and have that snack I never got. I guess I fell asleep again. What time is it now?"

Always with the long explanations, I thought, mentally rolling my eyes. "Five forty five."

"Oh." She frowned. "Why are you here?"

"Woke up early. Wanted my sweatshirt."

"Oh."

Her responses made me really roll my eyes. "You know, you could get another hour of sleep and still have time to get ready for school."

"I know." She paused, her brown eyes casting me a quizzical glance. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Depends on what it is."

"Do you hate me?"

The question stunned me. Where the fuck did that come from? I stared at her, making sure I'd heard her right. When she stared back, not blinking, I knew I had.

I didn't know how to respond, so I played safe. "I don't know you."

She considered that for moment, and then gave a small sigh. "Yeah, but one day you're violent and loud and fighting with Alice, and the next your threatening me…and then last night you seemed nicer for the most part. And you yelled at me a few minutes ago and were angry and annoyed, but now you're acting nice again. So, I was just curious."

I gave her a shocked look. Fuck. She was one of those overly observant people that took everything into account and assumed it meant something vital. "Umm…"

"I was just wondering." She shrugged. "It's okay."

"You know, you really didn't give me a chance to answer."

"I wasn't aware that you had an answer," she replied, raising one of her eyebrows.

Where did that little bitchiness come from? I'd have to talk to Alice about putting stupid feminist ideas in other people's minds. Only men were supposed to act bitchy. If women could just stop…oh, how the world would be such a better place.

She continued to stare at me and I realized I hadn't answered her. "Umm."

"Don't worry about it," she cut me off, turning her back to me so she could open one of the overhead cabinets.

"I was thinking, but fuck that," I snapped. "If you won't give me time to process what to say, why even bother asking?"

"Well that question usually sparks an instantaneous reaction," she muttered back. "Yes or no. Obviously, your answer is yes but for some reason you don't feel like saying it to my face. I don't see why not, considering how mean you are to me ninety percent of the time."

I didn't believe this. Was she fucking serious? My better judgment was now wrestling against my growing desire to strangle her. "Are you out of your fucking mind? We met what, three days ago?"

"More like a week ago," she mumbled.

"Who cares? Of that week I've seen you in person three days, and all three not by choice or free will, obviously," I questioned, beginning to grow angry. "How can you base my entire attitude and opinion on something so insignificant as your life off of several small and unwelcome interactions?"

"Well I can already tell from that answer that you certainly don't like me," Swan huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Not that it really matters. I mean, I'd just like to feel secure in the fact that you won't try to stab or poison me on lab days in Biology. You've already assaulted me, so I guess I can cross that one off the list."

I felt my mouth slump into a hard frown. "You know, I was actually thinking about asking Mr. Banner to move one of us. I had a feeling as soon as you took that chair beside me that it wouldn't work, and this just confirms it."

"Well, I'm glad that we share the same feelings," she hissed, before adding on, "even if it's the only thing you admit we share." She said the second part very softly, probably so I wouldn't hear it. But I heard her all right, and I was really starting to grow sick of her pushiness on the subject of my parents. I'd warned her that that was a road she didn't want to turn onto.

"Fuck this," I growled, more to myself. "I'm out of here."

I turned around and started to walk back to my room. I was almost to the kitchen doorway when Swan's faint voice stopped me.

"Edward, wait."

I froze but kept my back to her, waiting, but silence followed after she called my name. I turned around and her eyes were focused on a few strands of her long hair that she was twisting around her fingertips. When she didn't look up, I asked, "Yeah?"

"I take back what I said…about not caring. And I'm sorry for interrogating you. I guess I don't want you to hate me."

As before, I had no idea what to say. "Well, don't _you_ hate me?"

She finally looked up, and her eyes bore straight into mine as she thought out her reply. "I don't know. You've only given me reason to mistrust you. I don't like to be disliked though; it's not a good feeling. I don't like having enemies. So maybe I'd be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but only if you promise to do the same for me."

Her words stunned me, but I was beginning to get used to it. She wasn't an ordinary thinker. "Swan, I think it's a bit early for this kind of conversation. It's early in the morning, but also, just early. I already told you, I don't fucking know you."

"Well maybe if you stopped distancing yourself from everyone you'd see that we're not all that bad."

My eyes narrowed. "Since when do you want to be my friend?"

"I never said that I did. Granted, I have very strong reasons to hate you. Stronger than the ones you claim license you to loathe me."

"But you don't."

"I said I don't know."

I sighed. "Well, then I don't know what the fuck to tell you. Go talk to Alice some more; the two of you seem to have no problem forming a solid opinion of me."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Whatever you want it to." Without another word, I grabbed an apple off the counter and left the kitchen. The red fruit wasn't my favorite, but it was sweet and would sustain me for the next hour. I took a bite as I entered my room, and nearly choked as my foot caught the edge of something and almost sent me sprawling.

"What the fuck?" I growled as I fell against the wall, catching myself. I'd left the lights off so I couldn't see anything, and it took a minute before I found the switch. Right away I noticed it was a book I'd tripped over. A beat up hardcover copy of _Romeo & Juliet._

With a sigh I reached down and picked it up, debating whether or not I should return it to Swan. She must have dropped it when she ran off last night. I turned the book over in my hands, debating, when something fell out of it and flitted to the floor. It was a small piece of paper; a picture it looked like.

As I studied it more intently, my expression darkened. I couldn't be sure, but it looked like a photograph of Swan and her parents. She looked younger though, so it had to be several years ago. I flipped it over and sure enough, written on the back in clear cursive was the note; Swan Family Vacation, New York City, Summer 2006.

I felt an odd wave of emotion stream through me, and I quickly stuck the picture back in the book and slammed it shut, almost as if shutting it would shut out the pain I suddenly felt. Fuck. I had to give it back to her, _now_. Before she remembered it was missing, and before it reminded me of my own missing memories. Blocked ones. Days spent at home, or away…on family vacations.

BELLA –

I was just beginning to pull out the ingredients to make French toast, knowing full well that it was more than a little early for breakfast, when Edward came bursting back into the kitchen, not five minutes after he'd left.

I gave him a blank look, not sure how I should look or feel. He hadn't really allowed our discussion to reach a sound conclusion before he'd fled.

"Hello," I finally said, feeling stupid.

He just stared.

I tried again. "Did you want something?"

He held out a book to me, and I instantly recognized it as my copy of _Romeo & Juliet. _"You left it in my room. Nearly fucking killed me when I walked through the door and tripped over it."

I blushed and took it from him. "Oh…sorry."

"What did I say about apologizing?"

I gave a weak smile. "It's a forced habit. Automatic reflex. I can't help it. Sorry."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah…you're welcome."

"Oh, thank you." I clutched the book tightly to my chest, mentally scolding myself for forgetting it. It was an important book…but it had an extremely important photograph concealed within its pages. I would be far more distraught over the loss of it; there were bookstores everywhere carrying Shakespeare, but there wasn't a shop in the world that could sell me lost family portraits.

"I would take special care of that if I were you, before something bad happens to it," Edward told me, and for a second I wondered if he had discovered my hidden picture. No…he probably just didn't want me leaving stuff in his room again, and his words were meant as a threat. Either way, I was grateful that he was a good enough person to return it to me immediately. Maybe our conversation had made a slight impact after all.

He turned to leave, and I unthinkingly reached out and grasped his arm to stop him. He shook me off immediately, almost as if by instinct, and I recoiled in surprise.

"What do you want?"

He sounded extremely irritated, possibly because I'd touched him? Oh sure, he could snatch and terrorize me whenever he pleased, but I couldn't lay a finger on him, I thought with sudden bitterness. No; our conversation hadn't changed things at all.

"Swan, what do you want?" he growled again, breaking me from my thoughts. I automatically felt my temper flare up at his unwarranted insolence, and forgot what I had originally intended to say.

"Are you always this temperamental?" I demanded, poking him in the chest. "Do you have a multiple personality disorder or something? Are you ever actually nice, or is it all an act? Do you just enjoy being an insensitive jerk?"

His eyes flashed, and for an instant I was certain he would strike me, but then he closed his eyes and released a deep breath. "Don't touch me." It was a warning. I didn't care.

"Oh, so I'm not allowed to touch _you_, but you can grab _me_ without my permission?" I asked hotly. "Do you realize you left marks on my wrist from yesterday? And even last night? My arms were throbbing from the force you gripped them with! And I hadn't even done anything wrong either time! I was only trying to help!"

"Shut up!" he roared, instantly making me go silent. I was so angry though that I wasn't terrified as usual. It was like a cannon exploding, and all my short-term fury was released with incredible force. We glared at each other, both of our mouths turned down in blunt frowns. I felt the heat of my anger should physically burn him, but he seemed unfazed.

"Well then," he continued after a pause, "if that's all that you wanted to ask me, then I believe I shall be going. Again." He straightened up and made to leave, but I wasn't going to let him get away that easily.

"You didn't answer my questions," I yelled at him. "Ignoring them only proves that my accusations are correct…not that I had any doubts to begin with. And it's not all I'd wanted to ask you!"

"You're such a bitch!" Edward snapped back, taking a step closer to me. Instinctively I took one step back. "I told you to shut the fuck up before you wake up the entire house. I'm not deaf, you know. You don't have to scream at me! And what's this about me only pretending to be nice? I could say the exact same thing about you!"

"What are you talking about?" I huffed, stepping back again as he continued to advance toward me.

"Here I thought that you were a potentially kind and quiet little girl, too nosy and intrusive for her own good, but not worth the trouble of really hating," he said, taking another step. I felt my lower back hit the kitchen counter as I tried to escape again. He moved forward, despite my inability to move back, and closed the distance between us so that I was looking straight up into his face.

"Oh really?" I hissed, my hot-wired anger beginning to dwindle as I realized that I was trapped. I was sure he could see the building panic in my eyes. "Well for your information I am quiet, except when I'm angry or degradingly disrespected. And I am kind, but only to people that deserve it."

He let out a short laugh, and it sounded as sharp as broken glass. "You didn't let me finish, you brat."

I bit my tongue to keep from lashing out again. It wouldn't do me any good, anyway.

"As I was saying, especially after last night I realized that it would just be a waste of my energy to exert any real hatred toward you, even though I still stand by what I said about you being extremely prying. I mean, is this how you get to know people? Going to their rooms in the middle of the night and making radical assumptions about their lives? Honestly, Swan."

"Don't you dare try to push any blame on me," I said defiantly. "I haven't done anything wrong. And I have a real name, you know. Why do you keep calling me Swan?"

"Because I fucking can, and you can't do anything about it."

I could feel his hot breath on my skin as his icy green eyes challenged mine. He continued to glower, inches from my face, but I felt my own expression thaw. It was as if time had suddenly frozen, and it was all I could do to remember to breathe.

I suddenly became acutely aware of how close he was; I wasn't used to being this close to anyone, especially the opposite gender, and I could feel it now. I fought the sudden urge to push him away and flee. My heart skipped a beat as a different and startling stripe of nervousness blossomed inside me as he spoke.

Almost as if by reflex, I slid down to the floor and brought my knees up to my chest; an escape from the strong and conflicting emotions surrounding me, but also an escape from Edward himself. I could feel his eyes still on me but I refused to meet them for embarrassment at my cowardice, but also the strange nervous blush beginning to color my cheeks. What was wrong with me?

I heard Edward sigh after a long and awkward pause, and when he offered me his hand, I just stared at it. He sighed again. "Come on Swan, I haven't got all day."

I dared to look at his face once more, and it was frustrated. Without a word I placed my hand in his larger, rougher one. An electric spark shocked my skin, different than when he'd forcefully grabbed my arms. In a single fluid movement he pulled me back to my feet, and then instantly released my hand. The spark disappeared and I stared at my empty hand in puzzlement as Edward raised his eyebrows.

"So, are you going to keep yelling at me?" he asked.

I looked up distractedly. "What?"

"Hello? Are you feeling alright?"

I quickly tried to assemble my thoughts, ignoring the strong possibility that I'd suddenly lost my mind. "Yes. Perfectly."

"Alright then." He shot me one more suspicious look. I wasn't sure if he was still angry, because I suddenly remembered that I was supposed to be furious with him. "You got your book back, so…bye."

"Do you want breakfast?" I blurted out. Why am I such an idiot?

"Excuse me?"

"Well I'm making French toast. Or I was about to start, anyway," I added lamely.

He gave me another doubtful look, and didn't answer.

"Never mind," I said, feeling my cheeks flush. "I just-"

"Only if you make eggs with it."

I gave him a stunned look. "What?"

Edward crossed his arms and frowned at me. "Why are you looking at me like that? You offered."

"Oh," I answered, breathless for some odd reason. "Right."

He went over to the table and pulled out a chair to sit down, still eyeing me suspiciously. "Scrambled. And don't you try to poison _me_."

My voice was still off. "Sure."

I found it difficult to work knowing that Edward was watching me. I could feel his eyes on me, which made my posture go rigid in addition to making me just plain nervous. I almost burned the bread and added water instead of milk to the mix. I was normally a very good cook, but I'd always hated working under pressure, and this was pressure if I'd ever felt it. The tension was a wall almost thick enough to knock me over if I bumped into it.

"So…," I started, trying to break the awkward silence.

"What?" he lashed back irritably, catching me off guard. I turned around to stare at him, and his gaze was frosty again.

"Watch what you're doing," he added sharply, jerking his chin toward the frying pan I'd momentarily abandoned. My mouth almost dropped open. What a jerk! Here I was, making him breakfast because I'm a stupid and nice person, and…uggh! I instantly remembered why I'd been angry with him moments ago. Clarity of thought returned, thank goodness.

"Why are you still staring at me?" Edward snapped, bringing me back to the present. I quickly turned around again and pretended I hadn't heard him.

The extended silence returned, only it was heated this time rather than uncomfortable. I regretted causing the negative shift, though it really wasn't my fault so there was nothing for me to feel bad about. Wait, bad? No. But irked? Yes.

I was thinking of ways I _could_ sneakily slip a drop or two of poison into Edward's eggs when his voice once again pulled me out of my evil daydreaming.

"I'm not a morning person."

I didn't turn around, but I nodded my head. "Oh."

"I'm sure you've noticed."

I wanted to tell him that it was still no excuse for his behavior, but I didn't really feel like fighting a second war so early and in so short a time span. Instead, I answered with a simple, "Mmmm."

"Well what? Aren't you going to relate to me? Like the late night thing?"

I finally glanced over my shoulder, and I noted that his face had become slightly more animated than the frozen sculpture from several seconds ago. His expression was expectant, and I didn't like the obvious implication that I was supposed to agree with him.

"I am a night person. We covered this already," I replied.

"Exactly. You're not exactly Miss bright and sunshiny this morning either, and that's to be expected."

"I am a morning person, too." I kept my voice calm. "In fact, I am _very_ much a morning person, and it's not at all odd for me to be awake this early. And for your information I am perfectly cheery, you're just getting on my nerves."

"Oh, well excuse me," he scoffed. "Don't let me get in the way of a happy day."

"I wasn't planning on it," I muttered, low enough that he wouldn't hear. After an extended pause, I sighed. "Look, can we just make a truce...or something? Because of these so-called three days of knowing you, my stress scale has maxed out. It's kind of annoying, on top of everything else that I'm dealing with right now."

I'd never been a fan of excuses. But this was getting ridiculous.

"What, you want to make your offer of fucking French toast a legally binding peace treaty?" Edward snorted, shaking his head. "That would be a first."

"That wasn't exactly what I had in mind," I grumbled, my face infuriatingly turning red.

"Then, pray tell, what did you have in mind?" I wanted to wipe the sudden smug grin off his face. It was almost worse than his glares.

"I don't know. Maybe we could just..."

"Avoid each other unless we're absolutely forced to share the same breathing air, such as classes? Actually, classes being the one and only example? Sounds good to me."

I could only stare in shock as he nodded and smirked again, obviously pleased with himself. "Umm...well, that actually wasn't-"

"Okay look," he cut me off, causing me to release another sigh of frustration. "I know I went on that whole fucking monologue about the Hales and everything, but let's be honest-"

"I'm always honest, I just wish you could say the same," I snipped in, unable to help myself.

He glared at me before continuing. It was sad that I was becoming quite accustomed to those glares, even if they always scared me half to death. "Anyway, my point is, sure - I don't hate either one of them. They're not terrible people. But that doesn't mean I particularly like them. Because I really don't. We aren't friends, but we aren't enemies. We stay out of each other's way and we're good. See where I'm going here?"

I flipped the French toast onto two plates and started on the eggs. "Yeah...I do."

"And you're so obsessed with not having people hate you, or it's the fucking end of the world, so this is a solid compromise."

I didn't appreciate his sarcasm, but I did have to admit he had a point. Still, it didn't feel very solid to me. "I don't know."

"Well, it's that or we're just going to have to stick with fighting on a daily basis and you being stressed out." He gave me a serious look. "I'm not your friend, Swan. And I don't want to be."

I turned my back on him to pile the eggs on our toast and grab silverware and syrup. I had no words to say.

We ate in silence. I stared at the cover of _Romeo & Juliet _and avoided looking up in case I met his eyes. I could feel he wasn't glancing my direction though; he seemed to be engrossed in his food. At least it was a compliment that he seemed to like it.

Edward stood up when he was finished and walked over to the sink to wash his plate. My eyes subconsciously watched him while my mind was on a far away tangent. As he was about to leave, I felt my mouth move. "So...avoid it is?"

He looked back over his shoulder and gave a small nod. "Fine. No enemies, and definitely no friends."

"And no more fighting or stress." I really doubted that would happen, though. But there was always hope. "A Peace Treaty."

"Call it whatever the fuck you want."

He started walking away and I added, "I guess I'll see you in class."

He didn't stop and he didn't answer as he disappeared down the hallway and out of sight. I let out a final sigh as I went back to eating my own breakfast, wondering why I didn't feel any better than before. Wondering why instead, I felt worse.


End file.
